


The Disappearance of Miss Nebula

by Hermaline75



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Anal Sex, Antagonism, Historical Inaccuracy, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Mystery, Nebulous Time Period, Oral Sex, Period Typical Attitudes, Private Investigators, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2018-12-14 03:05:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 70
Words: 62,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11774193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: Vanishing women are a standard part of magic shows, but they are generally expected to reappear eventually. People don't just step into boxes and never come out.Right?





	1. A Case

They said it was tough to find work in this town. And that was true. Thor knew it first hand. But he also knew that as a strong man with his wits more or less intact and few vices, finding work was distinctly easier for him than for others. Even if his business went down, he could find something else.

Maybe that's why he got messed up in it in the first place when a certain Miss Gamora walked into what he ridiculously called his office. A misplaced instinct to protect that only seemed to get him into trouble.

How had he got into the PI game? It was difficult to say. Disillusionment kind of followed him around; people, places, family, there was nothing guaranteed never to let you down. Except facts. He liked facts. They were concrete, steel, fixed in place. No feelings needed.

It was an attitude that served him well. You couldn't afford to be sentimental in this job. People let you down. Wives let down their husbands, husbands their wives, children their parents. It was a fact of life.

Thor had followed enough women to their supposedly secret love nests and enough men to brothels to know it was so. Marital infidelity was his bread and butter. His average visitor was a wine-reddened man, wanting an innocent explanation for his wife's days out. Not wanting to believe his neglect had led her to seek comfort away from the marriage bed.

It brought Thor little pleasure to reveal secrets and uncover what was hidden, to be paid to destroy careful plans. But it was his trade nonetheless.

He knew from the moment he saw her that Gamora was not the usual kind of woman who came to him. She didn't have the watery, tearful face of someone who secretly knew her husband was unfaithful and only needed confirmation.

The hair was what caught his attention first as she entered the room. He was used to carefully crafted coiffures, the smell of lacquer and wax, stiff waves and curls. But this woman's hair was loose and flowing beneath a wide-brimmed hat. Unusual.

Her age too. There were few lines on her dark skin, much fewer than the worry-worn women he usually met. Which was not to say that she seemed carefree. Indeed, there was a tightness around her lips, a furrow to her brow. Trouble. Everything about her screamed trouble from the moment she knocked.

"Mr Odinson? The private detective?"

"Good morning."

She shook his hand with a firmness he was unused to. No nonsense. No pretence.

"I believe I may be in need of your aid."

He gestured for her to sit, reaching for his pen, trying to get the measure of her subtly. Neat clothes, but not the latest fashion. She chose them for practicality rather than appearances, that much was obvious. And though her build was slender, she had a firmness to her, an unusual muscularity for one with such smooth hands. No gloves. Daring.

"Your name?"

"Gamora."

"Family name?"

"I have none. I am a foundling."

Thor hesitated. He'd come across a fair few orphans in his time and even those left on doorsteps tended to be assigned a second name. The street name of where they were found, the name of the institution involved, even the month of their birth.

But it was none of his business for the moment. Miss Gamora would do.

"What is it you need investigated?" he asked, trying to guess internally.

Not an issue with a husband. Perhaps a business matter? Or perhaps she wanted to try to track down her birth parents. He hoped not. Such a task would be almost impossible.

"My sister has vanished and I fear she may be dead."

Thor stopped writing immediately.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but missing persons and suspected murder are matters for the police."

She sighed, eyes falling shut, the first hint of vulnerability he had seen in her.

"I have been to the police," she said. "They will not help me. In fact, they laughed in my face when I told them my sister had disappeared during a magic act."

"A magic act?" Thor asked, dumbfounded. Was this some kind of practical joke?

"We are circus people. Runaways and lost souls, unpredictable, or so they'd have you think. But this is not normal for Nebula, to vanish like this. I fear something awful may have happened to her."

No tears despite her evident distress. Was that unusual, Thor wondered. Or was it merely a sign of her desperation, reaching the end of her rope in her search for help?

He shouldn't get involved with this, he knew it. Murder and mystery on the wrong side of the tracks. This was dangerous.

"I can pay you," Gamora said, possibly sensing his deliberation. "Not much, but I can, a little."

He should tell her to leave, but he already knew he wouldn't. He couldn't bring himself to be so cruel. His world was full of cruelty and lies and suffering. He did not want to add to that if he could avoid it.

The pen was strangely heavy in his hand. Weighty. Deliberate.

"When did you last see her?"

A sigh of relief, a slight loosening of tension.

"Thursday night, six days ago. My performance ended just as hers began and I saw her step out from behind the curtain as I was exiting the ring. She has been working as the magician's assistant. Distracting the crowd from sleight of hand, being sawn in half, that kind of thing. But apparently she went into the vanishing box and never came out again. No one has seen her since then."

Hmm. Magic. Thor had never been much of a fan of anything he couldn't absolutely pin down.

"Has the magician said anything? Given any clues?"

"Only claiming that he does not know where she is. He swears to have nothing to do with it, but I have been unable to examine his equipment closely to try to see how the trick is done. He's very defensive and protective of his art."

Already, Thor was beginning to craft a theory. A love affair gone wrong. Perhaps an unplanned pregnancy. The magician getting rid of the evidence.

"Have you a picture of her?"

"Only this with me, but more in my caravan."

She gave him a card, their advertisement, a small photograph.

It was both of them, dressed in what were no doubt bright, colourful outfits, large feathered headresses and each holding the reigns of a large pale horse.

Thor was struck by the differences between them. Even in the picture, it was clear. Different stance, different complexion.

"This is your sister?" he asked, wondering if he was looking at the wrong one. Perhaps the missing woman was her identical twin.

"Adoptive sister, yes. Our father owns the circus and trained us from childhood to perform with the horses."

Stunt riders. Well, that explained the build. Anyone wrangling a horse or performing acrobatics would have to be physically strong.

"And your father has no interest in searching for her?" Thor asked.

"These northern climes do not agree with him. He is in the south. I have written with the news, but I fear it has not yet reached him."

A travelling show, and all the problems that carried with it.

"How long will you be here? What is my time restraint?"

"Another two months. It's very lucrative here, big crowds, but by then our lease of the park will be up and we will have to move on."

Not too much time then. No wonder she was desperate. But at least realistic. Most missing people, gone for days like this, did not turn up alive again.

Thor knew he shouldn't do this... It wasn't what he was meant for, a criminal case like this.

"I can make no guarantees," he said carefully. "But I will do my best to help you. And I'd like to start by interviewing this magician. What is his name?"

"I'm not sure if it's real, but he works as Loki Laufeyson."

As he carefully noted it down, his first and so far only suspect, Thor had no idea how quickly that name and the man it belonged to would burrow beneath his skin.

How it all would.


	2. Early Inquiries

There was something faintly rotten about the circus ground. Thor couldn't quite put his finger on it. The smell of horses and other animals was no worse than the stench of the rest of the city. Maybe it was the saccharine sweetness of the sugar dust and pancakes being prepared, the smell of paint and make-up, the blend of it all.

Whatever it was, it put Thor's teeth on edge.

He followed Gamora in, getting nods from several strange people who followed their progress with shifty eyes. If he was with her, he reasoned, they wouldn't object too much to his presence. He would be a guest rather than an intruder.

"This is our home," she said, unlocking a wooden caravan, peeling paint announcing Infinity Circuses on the side. "I'm not sure if you'll find any clues here. Nebula only really spent time here when she was sleeping. She doesn't own a lot. Not that any of us do."

Thor tried to avoid looking too closely at the greying undergarments flopped over a string to dry in the roof of the vehicle. It was bigger than he had expected, and nicer in general. There were two trunks tied to the floor, some cups attached to the wall with hooks, little cupboards with small latches to keep them closed while travelling, posters and pictures pasted to walls that may once have been a bright, sunshine yellow.

"You sleep in here?" he asked, unable to see a bed.

Gamora showed him the hooks where two hammocks could be hung above a sort of work bench, hinged to fold away for more space. It was ingenious, he had to admit, making the most of the travelling life.

"So this is her when she's not performing?" he asked, pointing to a picture of a scowling girl sitting on the steps of the caravan. It wasn't the best picture - over exposed, shadowy in places.

"Yes. Though her hair is longer now. It's red, quite distinctive. I really thought someone would remember seeing her, especially she walks with a limp, after the accident."

That sounded intriguing.

"Accident?"

"Thrown by the horse. The break healed badly, shortened her leg. She won't ride anymore. Can't and won't. That's why she was working the magic show. Anything to earn her keep."

A traumatic injury, mere seconds but a lifelong price to pay. Thor was beginning to warm to this Nebula. He'd always had a soft spot for the damaged or hurt. Wanted to help, to protect as best he could.

"Can you take me to Mr Laufeyson? I should speak to him next I feel."

She tried. Alas, he seemed nowhere to be found around his small 'house' caravan or larger equipment transportation. And no one seemed to know where he might be. Out, that seemed to be all they knew.

"He'll be back for the evening performance," Gamora said. "You may have to ambush him afterwards though."

In truth, Thor didn't want to stay, hanging around without action rarely sitting well with him, but he would if he had to.

"Can you explain the trick to me?" he tried. "How it works?"

She frowned like he'd asked her to explain the precise inner workings of the universe.

"Only magicians know their tricks," she said. "And they keep it secret, intensely so."

"Then can you describe how it looks from the outside?"

She tried, but he could only barely follow. There was a tall box, like a wardrobe or armoire. The woman stepped into the box and the door was closed and locked, the key given to a member of the crowd. The box was then spun on small wheels to show it was intact all the way round. And finally, the key was retrieved and the box unlocked. The woman was gone.

From there, it seemed there were variations. Sometimes the box was closed again and she would reappear within it. Sometimes she would suddenly appear on the trapeze. Sometimes the box was dismantled to prove that there were no hidden compartments in the back, no place for her to have hidden.

But Nebula had not come out again. Gamora hadn't seen what happened as she had been backstage following her own performance, but when Nebula failed to return to their caravan, she discovered that had been the last time she was seen.

"And Laufeyson has said nothing?"

"He claims to have done nothing differently to how he usually does it. But he will give me no details. The magicians' code of silence."

Hmm. Perhaps it would be more useful to have a look at this so-called magical box, to try to discover its mechanism for himself if there was no sense to be got from the man who owned it.

So far, Thor only had further questions. Even if this was murder - and since there was no trace of the girl, he had to assume it was - a person could not simply vanish on stage with so many witnesses. It wasn't possible.

Something else must have happened here. But what?

Six days and six performances gave lots of opportunity for the disposal of evidence...

Thor was not permitted into the big top, the tent where all the performances happened, to inspect the equipment even with Gamora's company, getting only head shakes from the men sitting outside it. No entry without permission from the owner, and since he was not here...

It seemed the only way he was going to see the box tonight was during the show as the day wore on and a crowd began to gather.

"If you watch it, perhaps you will get a better idea of how impossible it is," Gamora said, leading him back towards her caravan. "In truth, I do not necessarily suspect Loki. Perhaps someone else is lying, trying to implicate him... I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore."

There was a thought. That made a lot more sense. Someone waiting in the shadows for her to finish performing, pouncing. Knowing where suspicion would fall.

He pondered it sitting on the steps outside the caravan while Gamora changed into her show outfit and then he was handed off to a young boy to be led into the tent. No charge.

"Do your parents work here?" Thor asked, awkward around children as usual. This one could have been aged anywhere from a tall eight to a scrawny thirteen.

"I'm a foundling, sir," he said, pushing him lightly towards a chair in the front row. "Enjoy the performance."

Another orphan? Then again, a child with few prospects and opportunities... Maybe this was a good choice. A steady job.

The band finished tuning up and began to play a bright, rolling tune as the tent slowly filled with cheerful people, laughing and chatting, blissfully unaware of the mystery playing out all around them.


	3. The Show

The circus had never much appealed to Thor. Not that he wasn't impressed by performances of skill or strength, he merely preferred a story. The theatre was more his style.

But as the lamps in the stalls were lowered and the ring was left lit up, he couldn't help but feel a little shiver of excitement. The music had paused, the band sitting towards the back of a slightly elevated stage to the side of the gap through which the performers would enter. Was that also where the vanishing box would stand, Thor wondered.

He found himself gasping and applauding along with everyone else. A man with incredible flexibility, twisting his body into eye-watering positions. Tumblers and jugglers, hands seeming to pass through each other. Dancers and acrobats, great feats of bravery, leaping from great heights and relying on their colleagues to catch them.

Gamora appeared towards the end, posing beside her horse, luminous beneath the limelight as she bound the bridle to a long rope hanging from the pole which held up the great tent, testing the knot as she mounted.

She passed by so close to the crowd that Thor felt the rush of air as she got up to speed and then began pulling herself up.

It was so dangerous. His heart was in his mouth as she brought her legs up to a crouch and then stood, the horse still cantering around the ring with her on its back.

Surely she wasn't going to...

He watched as she centred herself and then leant forward, one leg extented behind her. A ballerina who just happened to also be balancing on a running stallion.

Yes, he could easily imagine an accident as she moved from that position to pose after pose. Especially as she flipped in a way that should not have been possible to his eyes, supporting her weight with her arms and kicking her bare feet high in the air.

Imagining with with two horses... One on each side of the ring? Simultaneous movements? It must have been even more impressive. And how did the ropes not get tangled?

Thor squinted up into the awning, up by the platform used by the trapeze artists. The rope seemed to be tied to a ring that was able to turn freely around the pole. Ingenious really. Keeping the horse in a neat circle.

All the same, hearing the gasp when she wobbled slightly only confirmed to Thor that it was amazing one of them hadn't been hurt earlier or even killed.

She richly deserved the applause that rang out as she bowed and led the horse away. And it was only then that Thor realised various pieces of equipment had been brought out onto the stage.

This was it. He was about to see the face of his prime suspect. The man sweeping through the curtains, bowing to the polite applause that met his arrival.

The first thought that entered Thor's head was that it was a very handsome face. Sharp cheekbones and a high forehead, dark hair swept back. Perhaps the smile was a little false... It was difficult to say. Either way, Thor could easily imagine a string of broken hearts left in every town they visited.

Could he also be a murderer? That remained to be seen. His assistant - a diminutive, slender, dark-haired woman - did seem nervous but that could just be stage fright.

The first tricks were nothing particularly special, not to Thor's eyes anyway. A bouquet pulled from thin air, a dove changed into a rabbit. Hidden pockets and trick sleeves no doubt.

But as time went on, explanations became less obvious. Balls moved from cup to cup impossibly and no matter how he tried to watch the man's hands, he knew there had to be some kind of distraction happening.

Evidently his rapt attention did not go unnoticed. The woman was dispatched with the pointing of a long finger to fetch him as an unwilling volunteer, even though he was in the middle of a row and therefore required many of his fellow audience members to move out of his way.

"Your name, sir?"

"Odinson."

This smile was genuine. Up close, Thor could see that some of that ethereal paleness was the work of grease and powder.

"And do you believe in magic, Mr Odinson?"

The scoff had come to his lips before he could think how to respond.

"A sceptic, ladies and gentlemen! The best assistant there can be. Step this way."

They were moving towards the box. Excellent. He could examine it freely, encouraged to do so in fact.

"Please, perform whatever tests you wish. You will discover that it is indeed a solid wooden box."

A complete circle of the item. Approximately the height of a man, slightly smaller than Thor. No obvious means of escape. No box at the bottom for the young lady to hide in, which had been his expectation. He knocked on the walls, but was maddeningly unable to find anything but what it seemed.

"Have you found anything amiss, sir?"

"Alas not."

A little chuckle and then more explanation for the crowd. The woman would go into the box. She would then disappear.

This was evidently a new twist on the trick. The wheels Gamora had mentioned were nowhere to be seen. Instead, once the door was closed, Thor was to lower and hold a large metal hoop around the box, ensuring she could not escape. His height was an advantage, it seemed.

There was no way out. Loki had him walk around in a circle, proving that the hoop was solid, intoning supposedly magical words as he did so.

Thor removed the hoop. The box was opened. Sure enough, the girl was gone. Gasps and applause. And then the man bowed, thanked Thor and invited him to retake his seat for the rest of the performance.

His fingers itched to follow him out of the artists' entrance and demand answers.

For the moment, he had to be content with watching the people removing the box, trying to work out how it was done and planning what exactly he would ask the handsome magician once they were out of the big top.


	4. Interviewing Loki

His position did not make exiting the tent easy and Thor had to be downright rude as he pushed his way through the crowd and hurried round to where the caravans were. Had he missed him? Would he have vanished as easily as his assistant?

Was that dark hair up ahead, flitting through the darkness, barely visible?

"Hey!" Thor called. "Hey, stop!"

A glance back, barely even that, keeping walking.

"A magician never reveals his secrets, sorry. Enjoy the wonder of magic and the magic of wondering."

"I want to talk to you about Miss Nebula."

Loki stopped in his tracks and turned, face blank, but perhaps calculatedly so. What was he hiding?

"And what would _Miss_ Nebula be to you, Mr Odinson?"

"I have been employed to make inquiries as to her whereabouts and well being."

He could not think of any reason to lie. That was what he was here for. And he intended to get answers, come Hell or high water.

Narrowed eyes, a brief glance up and down that still seemed to penetrate his very soul.

"You don't look like police."

"I'm not. I'm a man whose business it is to find out what happened to the young lady. Can you help me with my inquiries, Mr Laufeyson? I believe you were the last person to see her."

He didn't bother to add 'alive' to the end of that sentence. It was implied. And leaving a little tension in the air put him on the front foot. People who were off-balance were more likely to make mistakes in his experience.

"Hmm," Loki said, head tilted to the side. "Much as I enjoy talking to strange men in the dark, I think I would prefer to be inside. Might I invite you into my humble abode?"

It probably wasn't wise, but Thor was fairly sure he would win, should it come to a physical fight.

Talking to strange men in the dark, hmm? Odd to mention that unprompted, which of course made Thor suspicious. Trying to deflect attention perhaps? Trying to implant in Thor's mind the idea that he did not have sexual interest in Nebula or women in general?

Or he was making a bold pass. Travelling showmen didn't have time to build relationships slowly, he supposed.

Mama used to warn him about fast women, but had - perhaps foolishly - never thought to mention fast men.

Loki's caravan was smaller than Gamora's, built for one, and could not have been more different. It almost felt as though he had just moved in, few belongings out in the open and no decoration at all. A smell of alcohol permeated the who thing and Thor couldn't help feeling nervous as Loki struck a match for a lamp.

What little clutter there was felt more like a workshop than a home. Mechanisms and loops of fishing wire, mirrors. This was where the illusions were crafted then.

Loki folded a bed out from the wall and gestured for Thor to sit. It seemed sturdy enough, considering. The mattress barely deserved the designation and the sheets had definitely seen better days, but it would serve its purpose.

"Drink?"

"No, thank you."

Loki shrugged, producing a bottle from one of the small, secured cupboards lining the room at head height.

"I really have nothing to tell you that Gamora does not already know," he said, taking a gulp. "And I assume it is she who is paying you."

"All the same, I would like to hear it from your lips."

Lips that he was licking just a little. Was that unconscious or was he really trying to play?

"Well, the truth is that I felt sorry for Nebula. The injury was devastating, made her bedridden for months, and it was clear she would never ride again. She needed a means to be useful so I invited her to work with me. Keeping food on her table. She never did like relying on her sister."

"And the night she disappeared? What happened?"

"We performed as normal. She went into the box. And she vanished."

Thor blinked, waiting for more information. None seemed to be forthcoming.

"Where would she normally vanish to exactly?"

A knowing smile.

"I cannot tell you that. Safe to say, she was not there. Who knows? Perhaps my powers are stronger than I thought."

He smirked. An outright smirk, not a smile. And Thor was very angry suddenly.

"I hardly think this is a laughing matter," he said, concentrating on keeping his voice low and calm. "A girl is missing and possibly dead and for now you are my only suspect."

Loki scoffed.

"What possible reason would I have to harm her?"

"I've seen enough hurt people in my time to know it could be any reason. A love affair gone wrong. Her father owns the circus as I understand it. If she fell pregnant, perhaps you felt it best to be rid of her before you were expelled."

"Because killing his beloved daughter would be exactly the way to avoid that."

Fair point.

"Money then. Or perhaps she threatened to reveal some of your precious secrets. Or maybe just because you wanted to do it."

He might have hit a nerve there. Certainly, there were no more smiles.

"Let's say I did despatch of her during my show. How exactly would I move and dispose of the body without being seen afterwards? You saw how busy it was. Even in the dark, I would have been seen."

Hmm...

"Someone knows what happened," Thor said. "And I mean to uncover the truth."

Loki shrugged.

"Well, I intend to sleep, so unless you wish to join me, I shall bid you goodnight. I have told you all I can. Secrets are important in my business."

"And truths are important in mine."

It would be interesting to see whose will was stronger.

Thor left with precious little to show for his time, in need of a little shut-eye himself if he was honest. Maybe sleeping on it would help him make a little sense of all he had learned.

Perhaps tomorrow he ought to talk to Nebula's replacement.


	5. A Little Imagination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this.

In some ways, Thor lived a little bit like the circus folk. His bed also folded out of the wall of his office, his clothes hidden away in a cupboard and a curtain drawn across his door for privacy. It was cheaper to rent only one property, and he was not the only live-in tenant running a business out of his home.

"You're out late," Volstagg said, sweeping up in his late night barber's that Thor knew sold a little illicit booze on the side. "New case?"

"Missing person," Thor said, heading for the stairwell.

"Oh, dear. Isn't that a police matter?"

"They won't help. She's a circus girl. Wrong side of the track, as it were."

And now Volstagg was concerned, leaning on his broom.

"Oh, you don't want to mix with those people," he said. "Crooks and swindlers, the lot of them."

"I'm being paid, it's fine. Don't worry about me. I'm happy to do it."

"I'm just saying, be careful."

"Thanks. Good night."

Volstagg treated him like one of his sons half the time. Which was very kind of him and his wife - and he was always grateful to them when they brought "leftovers" to his door - but on the other hand, he had had quite enough paternal attention from his father to be going on with, thank you.

And besides, they were barely over a decade apart in age.

His mind was still reeling from meeting Loki in person as he slipped into bed. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he felt he was not to be trusted. He was not at all concerned by a colleague disappearing and nor that he was the prime suspect. Such behaviour was unusual to say the least.

But Thor had seen his type before. The type who thought they were so clever, that they would never be caught. He'd ought to know. He'd outsmarted plenty of them.

And that... flirting, if it could be called that. He still wasn't sure what to make of it. Real or pretend? Had he - correctly - spotted that Thor was inclined towards men? Or was he trying to scare away attention?

No, if that was the case he would be even more overt. This was testing the water, whether out of interest or trying to distract, or to protest that he had no romantic interest in a handsome young lady.

In that case, maybe he ought to respond in kind. See how far this Loki was willing to go...

He laughed at himself in the dark. Surely he wasn't all that desperate. Yes, perhaps it had been a while and perhaps the man was attractive, but he was also a likely murderer. Not exactly his first choice of even a fleeting partner.

But there was no law against imagining...

Oh, he was ridiculous. Was he really going to do this, imagine a suspect in a compromising situation? This was surely unethical.

Then again, that tight suit promised interesting revelations. That hair would look wondrous spread over a pillow, those cheeks flushed red, those lips bitten...

Alright, body. Alright.

He slipped his hand down his stomach, beneath the waistband of his pyjamas - which it was a little warm to be wearing, but this way he was protected from the worst of his scratchy woollen blanket - and let his mind wander as his cock thickened in his hand.

He'd begin by pushing Loki up against the wall of his caravan, away from prying eyes, and kissing that infuriating smirk right off his lips. Not for the pleasure of it, although that too, but to demonstrate that he was the one in control. And, of course, Loki would counter this with pulling of hair and nipping teeth and that would be its own kind of fun.

They'd undress haphazardly, not even all the way, open shirts and trousers shoved down as they tumbled onto the bed. And, yes, there would need to be preparation and so on in the real world, but in the privacy of his own head, Thor rather felt he could gloss over all that.

Mmm... Trembling thighs restricted by his clothes, the pale expanse of skin bared by a rucked up shirt. Thor took a firmer grip of himself as in his mind's eye he seized some of that thick, black hair and pulled...

Loki seemed the type to appreciate a little roughness. There would be no hiding in the pillows; Thor would hear every gasp and moan as they rocked together, flesh meeting with a shameless slap of skin on skin, snarling and clawing at the sheets.

And then on his back, crying out when Thor shoved back into him, eager and needy, wrapping his legs tight around him to let him get deeper, maybe talking too if he could manage.

Imaginary words echoed in Thor's mind.

_"Oh! Oh, fuck... Ah, right there, right there, don't stop... Harder... Ah, ah, fuck, so close, don't stop..."_

His hand was moving quickly now, his heavy breathing echoing around the room, burning hot under his blanket and wrist aching, but just a little more...

_"Your cock feels so good... Oh, fu-uck, keep going, oh, make me..."_

Simultaneous orgasm and coming untouched were easier to imagine than to achieve in Thor's experience. He spilled all over himself as he imagined Loki screaming his name, cock jerking and twitching over his stomach.

And breathe...

He ought to get cleaned up, but he was content just to kick the covers off and let his body cool and relax, even as a hint of guilt edged into his mind.

Such fantasies were not the way to solve a mystery, especially not when someone was potentially in danger or already dead.

Tomorrow, he'd have to work extra hard to make up for it.


	6. The New Assistant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a brief mention of domestic abuse in this chapter. Nothing graphic or anything.

His presence at the circus caused a few wary looks the next morning, but the people pointed him in Gamora's direction when asked. Maybe they were not as mistrusting of strangers as he thought. Or maybe news of him had travelled fast.

It was laundry day, it seemed, as Gamora and a few others were sitting on low stools in front of large, steaming tubs, scrubbing away and occasionally passing something over to two young boys operating a mangle, their twig-like arms shaking with effort.

She gave him a nod in greeting, standing up hurriedly.

"Have you learned something?"

"Not yet. I was rather hoping to speak to the young lady who now performs in the magic act?"

"Mantis? I'm afraid you'll get little sense out of her. She doesn't like men very much."

And yet she worked with Loki... Interesting.

"Could you vouch for me? I mean her no harm and she's not in any trouble."

"I can try, I suppose."

She tapped her friend's shoulder, excusing herself perhaps, and led him through the forest of caravans and buggies to one of the bigger ones, shared by a few women it seemed. Gamora went in alone to explain, even as Thor tried to protest that surely she ought to see him before deciding whether she wished to speak with him alone or not.

Several minutes later, she reemerged, nodding, a couple of others also stepping put to offer a little privacy, though they looked at him with sharp, steely eyes. Like they were daring him to be harsh.

"I told her that you're a friend and that you just want to ask a few questions and that it's to help Nebula. But don't get too close. Physically, I mean. She's a bit nervous."

Thor tried his best to be gentle, to be non-threatening, but it was a little difficult with his bulk in an enclosed space. Mantis was sitting as far from the door as possible, a sock she was darning sitting in her lap, forgotten.

"Hello," he said, pitching low and soft. "Don't worry, I just have some questions to ask. I saw you in the show. You were very good."

No response. But to be fair, he hadn't asked anything yet.

"Can you tell me when the last time you saw Nebula was? Please?"

"The night she disappeared. Before the show."

Her voice was quiet but steady. In fact, she didn't seem very scared at all, merely wary. Perhaps keeping his distance was helping.

"How did she seem that night? Was she frightened or anything like that?"

"She was grumpy. As usual."

"And then she just... vanished?"

"I didn't see her after that."

Cagey. Maybe she knew more than she was letting slip.

"Gamora said you don't like men," he said, conversationally. "But Mr Laufeyson is a man. Do you like him?"

"He barely looks at me. It suits me well. I'm just a prop to him, like the rabbit and the pigeon."

That sounded awful and Thor's discomfort must have shown on his face for she sighed and looked away, plucking at a loose thread.

"I prefer to go unnoticed. The assistant in the shadow. Between the make-up and the costumes, I am hardly myself."

"And did he pay attention to Nebula?" Thor asked.

After all, for all Loki flirted with him, an ill-fated love affair was still the most obvious motive.

"Not beyond showing her how to do the tricks. Not as far as I know. And I wish she wasn't gone. She was much better at vanishing than I am."

Hmm. Little help there.

"What do you mean, better? How was she better? Can you explain the vanishing trick to me?" he asked, but just got a laugh in return, louder than any other sound she had made.

"No. I can't. I have to keep the secrets. And that's all I know how to do."

It appeared that was all she had to say and so Thor left, decidedly more determined to take a look at this box himself.

"Why do you call her Mantis?" he asked Gamora. She'd been just outside the whole time, it seemed, just in case.

"Oh, isn't it obvious?" she asked, leading him away. "It's cruel really. It's because she killed her husband."

Thor stumbled over his own feet.

"And you let her live among you?" he stammered.

"She didn't _really_ kill him. At least I don't think so. It was self-defence. She couldn't hurt a fly, not deliberately. It's hardly her fault that he decided to attack her at the top of the stairs. And if she maybe gave him a little helping shove, well..."

That was not the same as a premeditated murder, Thor supposed, but all the same, a known killer who just so happened to take over the work of a missing person? That was surely worthy of at least a little consideration.

"I take it she has never faced justice?" he asked.

Gamora scoffed.

"What justice? She'd either be executed or institutionalised. Where's the justice in that? She's safe here and a danger to no one. This is who we are, Mr Odinson. Strays and runaways and lost children. It's not the life for everyone, but it's ours."

At least three foundlings recruited here that he knew of. No family ties to prevent them travelling. A woman hiding her past.

He wondered how Loki Laufeyson had come to be here. What dark secrets were hiding in his cupboards.

Maybe he'd ask that after he tried a little snooping around backstage, trying to work out how a body could be hidden there, either by a sneaky magician or a soft-spoken killer looking for a place in the circus.

He left Gamora heading back to her washing and made his way towards the big tent. All around him there seemed to be industry. Repairs being done to vehicles, patches sewn on clothes, practising music and tumbles, food being prepared. If there had been buildings, it might feel like any other street. People getting on with the work of the day.

He had learned not to try to get in at the proper entrance, guarded as it was, and so skulked his way round until he found a looser part of the canvas that he could just about squeeze under. Not the most dignified he'd ever been, but still, he was inside.

It felt wrong to be in an empty tent. Smothering silence bothered him as he crept along to the rickety stairs that led to the stage from the back.

How had it been set up? The musicians here with their chairs and then the box... Here?

There were faint marks on the wood, now he could see closely. Pencil marks perhaps, showing exactly where the box ought to go.

So the positioning was important.

Thor stood over the spot and tried to tell why. What was special about this position?

He tried stepping on it, hearing a gentle creaking sound. Hmm.

Yes, there was definitely a little yielding there when he bounced upon it.

He crouched, squinting slightly. Was that a gap? Small, but there, a little square hole in the stage? Not even big enough for his finger, but maybe with his pencil...

He poked around and couldn't help the yell that escaped him when the floor suddenly gave way.


	7. A Clumsy Extraction

A trapdoor, a latch that could be operated from the stage with the flick of a wrist. An item like a knitting needle or other stick concealed down the front of a bodice? A false base to the box? It was simple really. Thor was almost annoyed with himself that he hadn't thought of it immediately.

He'd love to see the other side, the closing mechanism, but he could already hear people coming to investigate the noise he'd made and so for now he'd have to be satisfied with getting out safely.

Wouldn't be the first time he'd had to sprint away from entering a property without permission...

Back down the stairs, ducking behind the stalls, trying to find a shadow to hide in as he watched the men stationed in front of the entrance rush in. And then he was able to simply stroll out...

Brazenness came easy to him. It was a skill really. Look like you belonged and you were far less likely to be stopped.

Unless, of course, someone knew you really ought not to be where you were.

"Good morning, Mr Odinson," the smooth voice behind him said. "I do hope you have not been poking around in other people's business."

Apparently Loki could appear at will as well as cause people to vanish.

Thor turned and immediately regretted it. The tight suit was gone in favour of a loose black shirt, open at the neck, revealing just a hint of skin.

Yes, he definitely shouldn't have indulged those thoughts last night. He was at risk of being distracted.

"Do you know that your assistant is a killer?" he asked, trying to cover his embarrassment. "Quite a thing not to mention, I think."

Loki frowned and then shrugged. Like he'd forgotten that. Maybe she was right; maybe he really didn't pay attention to her.

"I didn't think it relevant. Besides the fact that Mantis's little... incident was more a case of wrong place, wrong time, she had neither animosity towards Nebula, nor the ability to hide or dispose of a body. If I couldn't do it, I severely doubt she could. She hasn't the strength. Nebula was heavier than she looked and I ought to know, I used to levitate her."

He was right and that was infuriating. For it to be true, Mantis would have had to wait below the stage, kill Nebula without making a sound or leaving blood as evidence, and then dealt with the corpse. It was implausible to say the least.

Could falling awkwardly have killed Nebula? Maybe. Depended how far the drop was and what was beneath it. But an accident was an accident, so why bother covering that up? Unless it was a case of negligence. And even then, there was still the question of where the body was and how it had got there without being seen.

So unless this was a bigger conspiracy than he'd thought...

"Loki!" a man called from the entrance to the big top. "Stuff's moved. You'll want to check it before tonight. Make sure it's all OK."

He waved in acknowledgement before giving Thor quite a look, tutting lightly.

"We are naughty, aren't we?" he said. "Touching things without permission."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Loki seemed to be enjoying this game, stepping a little closer, watching carefully for Thor to blink.

"If you have any sense, and I suspect you do, you will drop this. You're only going to be disappointed."

"The truth is sometimes distressing or painful, but never as disappointing as not knowing."

Loki laughed under his breath.

"Not knowing. That's exactly why you're going to be disappointed. Find something else to want or you'll never be satisfied."

He underestimated Thor's desire to get at the truth. But that was fine. People who underestimated him tended to be easier to outsmart.

For a start, this flirtation nonsense needed to be nipped in the bud, sent off with its tail between its legs.

"What about you, _Loki?_ " he said, dropping his voice and closing the gap between them even more. "What is it that you... want?"

He was laying it on thick. Too much, maybe. His bluff might be called here.

A raised eyebrow was not a good sign. He must seem clumsy, much too obvious. Well, in that, he was merely giving back what he had been given.

"Do you make a habit of fraternising with suspects?"

"Are you calling yourself a suspect?"

A smile, hooded eyes, a little glance around.

"Not at all, but I like to know what I'm dealing with."

"Me too. Maybe we ought to discuss this in private."

And now Loki was leaning even closer, like he was about to tell a secret.

"I'm afraid I have to examine some evidence of tampering with my equipment," he whispered, turning on his heel and leaving Thor practically swaying.

Well...

That could have gone better. If this was a case of strategy, he'd just been well and truly out-manoeuvred. 

And he really needed to find out what was under that stage.


	8. A Night Raid

When could he do it, sneak in and look at the box? They would be on a much higher alert now for trespassers, Loki especially. He'd have to pick his moment.

When would Loki be reliably distracted? And when wouldn't there be people around?

He could disguise himself, perhaps... Pretend to be a musician maybe, or a hired hand. Then again, Gamora said these people treated each other as family. Even in extended clans, you tended to notice a sudden cousin and would demand explanation.

No, it would be easier to try under cover of night. Sneak back in.

He informed Gamora of his plan, for all the he still felt guilty of having nothing concrete to tell her.

"The gates are locked after the show," she said uncertainly. "You'll never get back into the grounds at night, let alone the tent."

"Then I must remain here until everyone has retired. I'm an old hand at waiting. I'm used to it."

He was indeed, and often in the most uncomfortable positions. As such, sitting in the dark of Gamora's caravan was positively luxury. He couldn't have a lamp for fear of being seen, but he could stretch out, sleep a little since he wouldn't be getting to his own bed before the morning.

Maybe he was more tired than he'd thought. Before he knew it, Gamora was back, meaning he'd slept for hours. Still, he was a firm believer in unconscious connections and something was bothering him.

"You say the gates are locked?" he said, rubbing at his face. "So you are all locked in here overnight?"

"Of course. It's just like locking your door at night - not so much to keep us in, but to keep others out. There's money here, and the horses of course. Lots of valuables."

That made sense, he supposed. They might seem like easy pickings to opportunitist thieves.

He sat facing the wall while she changed and borrowed a lamp for when he was in the tent. His eyes adapted quite well to the dark usually, but he might need some help for the details.

It was easy enough to hide behind her caravan as the last stragglers headed home, not so easy to remain still while he could hear some revelry. A few people were yet awake. And although he could probably sneak past them... No. Better to wait than risk being caught.

It was decidedly difficult to keep his breathing steady and silent when someone approached and knocked at Gamora's door.

He couldn't hear them well, but he could catch enough to know it was Loki.

"You're wasting your money on your little pet investigator," he was saying. "He's already decided that I did it. He won't find the true culprit before we leave."

"I would rather try than not try. And if you have no news to give me, could you please let me sleep?"

A brief beat of a pause.

"He was flirting with me today," Loki said, in a rush it seemed. "So even if I did do something, I'm sure I could seduce him out of naming me. There's no point in employing him if all you want are fingers pointed at me. He won't do it."

"If you didn't do anything, what does that matter to me whether you flirt or not? Go to bed, Loki. You've been drinking, I can smell it."

He didn't sound drunk. His footsteps were firm too as he stalked off. Steady. Either he could hold his drink well or she was mistaken.

All the same, Thor made sure he waited an extra long amount of time before beginning his long, slow creep towards the big tent.

It had a creepy feel to it, the empty circus. Like a fallen beast, its ropes like tendrils and the poles like spines, sharp and strong, the canvas itself like a great, thick hide.

The cool air made him shiver. At least, he told himself that's what it was. Either way, his body was tight and tense as he made his way round, trying to be out of sight of the living area completely.

It was darker on the inside than he had expected and he had to fight the image of being swallowed by this monster as he mostly felt his way around to the stage steps.

If they were here, then he needed to go...

He hit his head off the wood a few times before finding his way underneath. The space was cluttered with boxes and so he felt perhaps he could risk the lamp and stop risking his skull.

The match flared and blinded him for a moment before his eyes adjusted again for a proper look around.

He found the trapdoor and got a much better look at the mechanism from this angle. It was a simple hook, easy to knock out of place - as he had discovered - and just as easy to push back into place from underneath.

There was something odd here...

He might not have noticed without the lamp. How shiny the screw holding it in place was, winking and sparkling at him. New. This was a new contraption.

 _That's_ what was bothering him. The box used to be on wheels. You couldn't drop through the floor if there was a gap without the risk of the crowd seeing the movement. Therefore, there had to have been a sort of secret compartment for Nebula to hide in, a false step of some kind perhaps. She squashed down, hid herself...

Then perhaps she'd never come out again. Perhaps she'd been poisoned or something and had died in the box, been carried back beneath the stage as usual.

Ingenious. Kill in haste, dispose at leisure. Loki could dump the body on the road, far from here.

He had to find that other box...

It took a long time. He couldn't risk clattering around, or moving too many objects or he was sure to be caught. He watched his step, graceful, especially for a large man.

He was fighting back yawns when he finally spotted it. Painted the same shade of deep green as the larger box, the same gold accents, half hidden in a corner.

Well...

Thor tried to keep his breathing steady. It would not be the first time he saw a corpse, but on the other hand, a week was a long time for nature to begin its grisly course.

This was not going to be pleasant.

He set his lamp down on the floor, inhaled deeply, and gripped the edge of the lid.


	9. A Useless Clue

Empty.

Shit...

And he'd been so sure.

There had to be something. Anything...

It took a long time to find the hair caught in the hinges. Long and red. Nebula's hair? He wasn't sure from the image Gamora had shown him, but she'd said red, hadn't she? More vibrant than he'd imagined. Still, it wasn't a particularly good clue anyway. So a girl's hair ended up in the box she often squashed herself into, so what? Didn't mean she died there.

He put the strand carefully into an envelope from his inside pocket all the same. Just in case he needed to compare it with another.

What else could he do now? Both his pet theories seemed disproved. Even if she had fallen through the floor, it would take a very unlucky fall to be killed instantly by a six foot drop, especially without leaving so much as a drop of blood.

Maybe his poison theory was correct though. A week was a long time to orchestrate the body disposal. As soon as the coast was clear.

Why else would Loki try to discourage Gamora's investigating if not for fear of inplication in the crime? To protect another? But other than Mantis, who else could be involved? Who else would have control over a man who seemed as carefree and contrary as they come?

Hmm...

Thor extinguished the lamp and sat in the dark, pondering. He could hear the patter of raindrops on the canvas and so had no particular desire to sit out unnecessarily. He could almost hear his mother chastising him about how he'd catch his death out there.

If she knew some of the danger he put himself in now, regularly, she'd probably have a heart attack all over again.

Still, he had to be out and hidden by dawn, carefully trying to put everything back the way he'd found it, hoping to avoid suspicion and detection, making his way back out towards Gamora's caravan and the relative safety of its shadow.

Why did his feet take him past Loki's home? Curiosity? A strange desire to go by unseen, unnoticed by his potential quarry? He couldn't say. But he found himself sneaking in that direction anyway.

There was a light. Awake at this hour? It had to be four or five in the morning. It seemed unusual. Perhaps worthy of investigation.

A circuit of the vehicle confirmed that all the little curtains were tightly closed. He wouldn't get so much as a glimpse of what was happening within.

Anything being said? Did he have a guest?

Thor pressed his ear to the wood and maybe there was the faint hum of quiet voices, but he couldn't make out if it was more than one person, let alone catch any words.

Ridiculously, there was a hint of jealousy to his creeping. Did Loki have a lover in there? Why not? He had the right to do that. It wasn't like there was anything between them other than some sparks of attraction.

Still... He didn't much like knowing he was one of likely many that Loki could charm to his bed. He was nothing special.

Well, he wasn't going to hang around and see his rival. Too risky. It was far better to go and wait for Gamora, sitting on his coat and pretending he couldn't feel the cold and damp from the ground seeping up into his legs.

It was strange to hear the circus awaken. Some were up at the same time as the sun, beginning their work, feeding their horses and children. By the time everything was crowded enough for Thor to feel confident of sneaking out of his hiding place, the birds were singing loudly and the sound of laughter and play was echoing across the field.

They did not seem like people who had just lost one of their own. He thought of Mantis's words - "grumpy as usual." Nebula had not been particularly well liked, it seemed. Maybe any one of them could have done it.

But that still didn't explain how they'd done it in the middle of a show in front of hundreds of witnesses.

Was it lack of sleep or the case giving him this headache?

He was dozing when Gamora got up, startled by her sudden presence.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

Ah... Well, he hadn't really. Though he could check the hair, he supposed, fishing the envelope out of his pocket.

"Is this Nebula's hair?" he asked. "I found it in one of the magic boxes, but I'm afraid anything else that was there seems to have been removed or cleaned."

She examined it, holding it up to the light, and sighed heavily.

"Yes. It's hers. But it still doesn't tell me what happened."

Thor's heart ached to look at her. And he wished he could do more to help.

"I will get to the bottom of this if I possibly can," he said, taking her hands. "I swear."

She sighed gently and gave him the hair back to return to his pocket.

"If you stick to the edge of the caravans, you should be able to sneak out without being seen by too many people," she said. "Go get some rest. I think you've earned it."

He wished he had done better.


	10. A Visitor

Volstagg looked at him with great pity, probably noting his dampness.

"You been out all night?"

"Yeah. Working."

"You look like you need something warm and nourishing. I'll see if we've any porridge left in the pot."

"I just need my bed," Thor said, knowing that with Volstagg's appetite there were never leftovers from breakfast and unwilling to bother Hilde. She was a busy lady. "Nothing a bit of a lie down won't fix."

Maybe he'd gotten colder than he thought. Certainly, the pleasure of being horizontal on a soft surface helped a lot and soon the aches of his chilled skin began to ease beneath the blanket and the faint warmth of his stove, letting him collapse into a dreamless sleep.

Volstagg woke him what had to be hours later for all it felt like only a few minutes, shaking his shoulder.

"I don't want to worry you, lad, but I think you might have been followed home."

Thor blinked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Just that there's been a dark-haired man outside all morning and he doesn't look like he needs a shave. Though a haircut might not go amiss..."

Ah. Loki by the sound of it. Not expecting how shrewd Volstagg was when it came to surveillance. Always aware of the risks to his little side-business.

Thor's back practically creaked as he sat up, reaching for his trousers.

"I think I know him," he said. "But I'll go out the back way and circle round to him."

"A suspect?"

"Something like that."

Loki wasn't exactly hiding. He'd found himself a bench within view of Volstagg's shop and had ensconced himself upon it, clutching a newspaper he wasn't reading. He evidently had no fears about being spotted, but Thor still made the effort to sneak around him, just for the pleasure of seeing him jump.

"Are you waiting for someone?" he breathed from behind him.

As suspected, seeing Loki startled and turning round in a fluster was deeply gratifying, even though he quickly recovered his dignity.

"I was just wondering what you were doing in our little homestead this morning so very early. One might almost think you didn't make it home last night."

"Are you accusing me of trespass?"

"Are you accusing me of murder?"

Hm. Fair point.

"Come on. I'll get you a coffee. Must have had a chilly morning sitting out here. A dull one, certainly."

"I'd rather talk in private, actually."

"My office is just upstairs."

He nodded to Volstagg as he led Loki through to the stairwell, letting him know everything was alright. Not that he'd believe that. Worried too much, that man.

The pipes grumbled as Thor filled the tea kettle, the plumbing not the best that could be had, though their landlord used it as an excuse to charge higher rent. And Thor was grateful of it, relatively clean and highly convenient, even if the outhouse was still... well, out of the house.

"You live in your office?" Loki asked from the clients' chair.

"You live in your workshop?"

A brief laugh as Thor set the water onto his single stove ring to heat.

"We can't both keep answering questions with further questions or we'll never get anywhere."

"Fine," Thor said, finding cups and spoons and so on. When had he last had milk? "Then what was it you wanted to tell me? No question in return, remember."

He could practically hear Loki pursing his lips and considering his options. Rile him up a little or be serious?

Maybe it was a sign of sincerity that he replied sensibly.

"You need to drop this case," he said. "You are barking up the wrong tree, you've got the wrong end of the stick, however you want to say it."

Thor turned and leant against the wall.

"Why should I do that?"

"You're putting someone in danger by poking around so."

"You, you mean? In danger of a hanging."

"No. You have nothing to say I did anything and you know it. I have no fear. And not Mantis either. She's as innocent as a saint."

"Who then?"

A pause.

"I'm not at liberty to say."

Thor scoffed. Oh, he'd heard some excuses in his time, but this was really something. Not even an attempt at being reasonable.

"Please," he said. "So I'm just supposed to take it on your good word? That's pathetic. I get what I'm after and I will find out what happened."

They stared at each other for a moment before Thor's kettle began screaming, forcing him to look away first.

"I tend to get what I want too," Loki said conversationally, as if they were merely passing the time of day.

"Other than trust, I assume?" Thor asked.

"Very funny. But I think you know what I'm... alluding to."

Two cups of hot coffee, not perfectly percolated, but they would do.

"I'm curious as to why you think such an approach would work," Thor said, placing them down and pointedly sitting on the opposite side of the desk. "You're a suspect. You know how unprofessional it would be."

Loki leant forward, resting his elbow on the wood and twirling a finger in his hair.

"I know I've done nothing wrong. I know you will not find anything, for there is nothing to find. You'll reach the day we leave and find only disappointment and, worse, realise you missed your opportunity for... a bit of fun."

Thor was suspicious. It was the oldest trick in the book, seducing the detective. Could he take this man as a lover and yet send him to the gallows if he found the necessary evidence? Many couldn't. And though he liked to think of himself as rational and above such sentiments, the truth was that his heart had something of a molten core.

And what about last night? Had he had company? Asking would reveal he had been sneaking around and that he'd been outside Loki's caravan and so was clearly out of the question.

He wasn't sure about this, but then again he had been staring at Loki's lips since his first sip of coffee. Watching him grimace.

"I prefer it with sugar."

"I don't have any."

"The quintessential host, I see."

Much as he tried, Thor couldn't hold back the little breath of laughter. He couldn't deny that he found Loki deeply attractive, for all he was also intensely unsure what to make of him. Mainly physical attraction, but there was also something in his evident intelligence, his utter disregard for conventional society, which called to him.

Oh, this was foolhardy at best and a severe risk to his safety at worst... Not to mention the case and how wrong it was.

Then again, he would get access to Loki's caravan, and there were potentially clues there.

"Why don't I come to your place after the show tonight and you can show me how it's done?"

Loki grinned.


	11. New Facts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning for mentions of an upsetting side-show attraction which was apparently a thing. People are weird.

Anticipation flared through Thor all day. It was in the pulse of blood through his veins and in every inhalation, for all that he was trying his best to focus, organise his thoughts and the facts and what he knew about the case.

Writing things down. Making connections. Right.

Opportunity, means and motive. That's what he needed and, to be honest, he didn't have any of them. He had no idea how it was done or why. And all he had by way of clues were the fact that the trick had recently changed and a single strand of hair.

A hair which told him nothing except that Nebula had been in the box, which he knew already.

And he had an itch that he knew would be scratched later, which really wasn't helping his concentration.

A young woman trained from childhood to perform. That was a lot of effort and investment. Gamora said she had written to their father but that he had not yet replied. Even if there was no particular paternal care involved, surely he couldn't be best pleased by her disappearance.

Unless he was involved somehow... He could have ordered Loki to kill someone of little use to him. After all, Thor reasoned, he knew nothing of Loki's past. Maybe he had some kind of blackmail or indenture hanging over him, forcing him to act as some kind of puppet.

He should ask Gamora for more information about the man behind the scenes.

He tried to catch up on more sleep, with little success. Eventually, he decided he ought to head back out, getting stopped by Hilde on the stairs as he tried to step around her sweeping.

"Thor Odinson, what _have_ you been doing with yourself? That jacket is filthy."

It was a little muddy, perhaps on the back.

"Risk of the job," Thor said, smiling.

"Well, you can't go out in that. I'm washing all the children's ones later anyway. Let me clean it for you and you can borrow one of the mister's."

It wasn't worth arguing with her, even though he could guess she hadn't planned any coat washing and Volstagg's coats would be a touch baggy, even on his broad frame. He did make sure he retrieved the envelope first though, which meant he was awkwardly holding it when he walked past Volstagg as he laid a hot towel around a customer's face.

If he hadn't been, he probably wouldn't have bothered to ask.

"You know about hair," he said thoughtfully. "Don't suppose this tells you anything?"

Volstagg looked suitably nonplussed, taking the strand surprisingly delicately considering the size of his fingers, rolling it between them.

"It's horse hair," he said. "Definitely not human."

Thor frowned, squinting at it.

"Are you sure?"

"Oh, yes. Even the thickest human hair isn't coarse like this. It'll look beautiful, but it wouldn't be like combing through a woman's. The tail, I'd say, judging by length, though you do get long manes depending on the breed."

A horse's hair. Not even Nebula's. Thor groaned, his one useless clue now turning out to be worthless. Just something that had got into the box by chance.

Maybe he could find out who had the most contact with a horse with an auburn tail...

"Thanks anyway. I thought it was from my missing girl, but evidently not."

He put it back in the envelope anyway. It was all he had and he was unwilling to part with it just yet, even if it was pathetic.

Gamora seemed a little confused as to why he was quite so interested in her father. He trailed around after her as she groomed her horse - white, not the one he was looking for - and tried not to sound as though he was suspicious of the man who raised her.

"I think a little background would help," he said. "How intensely does he manage the circus?"

"Well, he has many shows to keep track of."

Many shows? Travelling different routes, perhaps?

"Don't you impact on each other's profits?" he asked. "A community that recently saw a circus is unlikely to pay for another one."

"Different types of circus," she explained. "We're a ten-in-one, multiple acts under one canvas, skill demonstrations mostly. But there's also the exhibition tours. Interesting things put on display. Rare animals or strange people, taxidermy and that kind of thing. Pickled punks and so on."

"Pickled... What are they? Surely not drunkards?"

"They're... Well, they are unborn children in jars. But don't worry - ours are all fakes. Nebula and I learned to make them out of wax when we were children. The more unusual the better. Conjoined twins, two heads, that sort of thing."

"Why would people want to see those?" Thor asked, slightly horrified.

"It's hardly something you see every day."

That was true enough, he supposed.

"So he manages all the touring shows remotely? By letter?"

"That's correct. And he trains newcomers too. Some of the children travelling with us will stop with him when we next visit and learn a skill."

Just as she had done.

"The foundlings. Where do they come from?"

"The streets, mostly. Same as they always do. Given a choice between food and an interesting life and trying to scratch out a living in the city... Well, it wasn't a difficult choice when I was five. I barely remember my life before. And, yes, it was hard and I had to adapt to survive, but I am alive. I doubt I would be had I stayed in my home town."

It was not an easy life, that was for sure, but Thor couldn't help but admire her tenacity.

"Are there any red-coloured horses here?" he asked as she began laying out food buckets.

"Red? No. We only use pale greys. They look more imposing when we travel if they're similar."

Slightly confused, he thanked her and decided to go in search of food before coming back to meet Loki.

Where had the red horse hair come from? Someone from outside? An intruder? It was possible, he knew, after all he'd broken in himself.

It did rather ruin all his current assumptions though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because when I learn about strange, upsetting things while researching fics, I like to at least try to put them to use? <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickled_punks>


	12. Sparring

A small pub served him well, providing hot, filling food, but not so much that he would be unable to be energetic later, should that prove to be to Loki's taste. Thor found himself smiling to think on it, on how he would soon have his fantasy made real, how he would make sure there was no smirking this night.

He walked a long way round to the right caravan, hoping to avoid Gamora. He wasn't entirely sure why he was bothering. Loki would tell her, he knew that already. Parade his weakness in front of her. It was inevitable, but maybe he could at least delay it somewhat.

He really did need to get some kind of evidence out of this little encounter if he was ever to show his face as a private investigator ever again.

A handy confessional note would be just the thing, for example.

Even from outside, he could smell alcohol. Brandy, if he was any judge. A sign of a guilty conscience? Or was this a pre-existing vice?

A functioning alcoholic if so. He could clearly present a more or less clean face to the world when necessary.

Spotting him approaching put Thor in mind of being a prize carp, knowing the shiny lure was dangerous, but unable to tear himself away. He was hooked and he knew it and now Loki was simply reeling him in.

"I wondered if you would actually show up," he said, unlocking the door and hurriedly ushering Thor inside, not wanting anyone else to spot his visitor it seemed.

Maybe not wanting to give him time to think better of this.

"I feel it too," Thor said, trying to do his fair share of tempting with a darting flash of honesty. "There is a tension between us."

He watched as Loki lit a small safety lamp, the kind found in mines, and began closing the curtains, cutting them off from the rest of the world. It did smell incredibly strongly of spirits inside. Like it had been spilled and not cleaned up, but other than the clutter of the worktable, the place was shabby but scrupulously clean.

Except... Except for little specks of green, now he was looking. Floating in the air and dotting the sheets. Thor glanced up, trying to avoid being caught looking, spotting some herbs hanging in the roof space, drying out. How had he missed those on his first visit? Had they been there? Or concealed by laundry perhaps?

Regardless, he was instantly suspicious. Poison? Maybe. He'd have to get hold of one and take it to a specialist...

"So," Loki said, forcing him to put his plots to the back of his mind. "When you fantasised about this - and I know that you have - what exactly did you imagine?"

Thor let out a bark of laughter, remembering.

"I'm not sure you'd like what I imagined."

"Hmm. Try me. Perhaps you will be surprised by my tastes."

Oh, he'd known, hadn't he? Known that Loki would be the type to want things fast and hard, rough maybe. Little gentleness could be found in this home.

Thor took off his borrowed coat and slowly drew off his belt, snapping the leather between his hands to see Loki's reaction. No fear. Only lust.

"I imagined plundering your mouth first, bruising your lips with mine and stilling your tongue before throwing you down and taking you from behind until you were screaming for release."

Loki moved to him, reaching for the buttons on his shirt.

"I imagined you on your knees before me," he said. "Letting me use you."

Thor grabbed at him, yanking him closer, grinding slightly even though he was nowhere near ready.

"Then I turned you onto your back," he said, ignoring Loki's words. "And watched you squirm on my cock, a perfect, needy little piece for me to enjoy."

"If we're to talk of pieces, it seems I have a pound of flesh to look forward to."

He reached into Thor's trousers, finding his cock, working it thoughtfully.

"Maybe even a pound and a half."

Thor snarled, not sure if he wanted to shove Loki away or pull him closer, settling for groping him roughly and pushing back towards the bed.

"Have you got slick squirreled away in here?"

"Don't flatter yourself into thinking you're the first to catch my eye."

"Where?"

His own voice was surprising him, dropped to a low growl as Loki grinned at him.

"No, not yet. Don't you know it's good manners to begin with something your partner likes rather than barging ahead?"

He laid his hands palm down on Thor's shoulders and pushed. It was his instinct to resist, to refuse, but then again, he wanted...

Well, if Loki thought this would shame him in some way, he'd just have to prove him wrong. Show just how good a job he could do.

He looked critically at the bulge in Loki's trousers, knees against the hard wooden floor, and looked upwards as he undid the buttons, trying to put some challenge into his eyes as he felt for bare flesh.

It wasn't quite how he'd imagined it might be, and it was a bit of a surprise to him that he'd pictured it at all. Curving slightly to the left, heavy, pinker.

Still, no time to waste gawping.

He let the head rest upon his tongue just a little before closing his lips and sucking gently, hearing the little choked moan above him which told him that for all the posturing and talk, Loki was going to be just as responsive as he'd hoped.

Sharp fingers tangled in his hair and he grunted a warning. Things would progress at his pace and no other. But there was no pressure. Just presence.

"I'm not your first either," Loki said, making Thor throw an incredulous look upwards. Now who was flattering themselves?

Still, he knew how to be good at this, how to tease, how to work things up until he felt surrounded by panting breaths, those fingers tightening as salt spread lazily across his tongue...

And so he knew exactly when to stop for maximum frustration, pulling back in a quick, smooth motion.

Loki groaned above him, the hint of a laugh in his voice.

"Oh, _fuck you..."_

Thor stood and pushed him firmly in the chest, his knees yet weak enough that he sprawled on the bed, dishevelled and pink-cheeked and exactly how Thor had wanted him. A job well done, as predicted, but still barely a sideshow to the main event.

"Ready for more?"

A beat of defiance and then Loki began pushing his trousers off fully.

"There's cooking oil in the left-most cupboard."


	13. A Meeting

The cupboard in question was full of bottles, packed with cotton cloth to protect them from being rattled on the road, some of which he would have loved to examine more closely. At the front was the oil and a couple of bottles of spirits, half full.

But though the list of things Thor wished to arouse was long, suspicion was not on it, so he grabbed what he needed as though the investigation was fully out of his mind.

Loki was eyeing him curiously, proving that his instinct for haste was correct, leisurely stroking himself, shirt completely open.

"Surely you are not planning to take me clothed," he said. "We are not meeting quickly in the street after all."

"No, I would have you against the wall if that were the case."

He did not miss the way Loki bit his lip at that particular image.

"Here," he said, tossing the oil onto the bed. "Get started."

"So demanding... You're lucky I like that."

Thor was slow to unbutton, knowing he had to fill his time with something as Loki prepared. He was impatient, yes, but he wanted mewls of overwhelmed pleasure rather than pain. The roughness he craved did not stretch as far as brutality.

"Be generous," he grunted, watching as one slick finger and then two vanished into what was surely the sweetest clenching heat.

"Prefer things messy, do we?" Loki asked, already slightly strained, but practised in his motions.

Shirt laid over Volstagg's coat - and what would he think if he knew what purpose Thor had gone out for? - and then his trousers and underwear and then he could crawl onto the bed. He had not yet had his fill of kisses after all.

Hands otherwise engaged, it was easy to move Loki's face where he would, raking his fingers through the loose waves of his hair, nipping at his lips and pressing deep, knowing the bitter taste of his pre-spend would yet cling to his tongue.

It was an unhealthy meeting, he knew. There was a darkness to the moans, a sickness in Loki's beauty even, for he was beautiful and Thor found himself growling it under his breath as he grabbed at his hips, trying to take his place between those thighs but finding them firmly closed.

No harsh look could wipe the amusement from Loki's face.

"I prefer bring on top, if you don't mind."

To his surprise, Thor didn't really care. Any way, it didn't matter, and if this was some sort of power play, let him have his petty victory.

He retreated, sitting up with his back against the wooden wall of the caravan and watched as Loki finally threw off his shirt and was completely bared to him.

Later, the faint scars would register, the cuts on his shoulders, but Thor's mind had shrunk down to want, chest heaving as Loki crawled towards him and settled into his lap.

Thor's head hit the wall with a heavy thump. Loki let out a soft cry, his palms on Thor's chest, like he needed a moment. Thor seized him by the hair, a thick handful, dragging him forward to taste his mouth again, waiting until he seemed to relax a little before rolling his hips in a sharp jolt.

Another little cry, muffled by his lips and then Loki was joining him, moving in tight, jerking motions, mouthing at Thor's lips until he gripped his hips and began setting the pace, steady but relentless.

"Is this what you wanted?"

"Oh, fuck..."

Thor wasn't sure if this reaction was genuine or just an appeal to his ego, but once again, he didn't much care. Loki was even more stunning like this, eyelids fluttering, mouth open around gasping breaths, and so warm inside, the oil easing everything.

In fact, he was concerned about spilling far too soon if Loki kept squeezing like that...

"Are you trying to rush me?" Thor asked. "Clenching like that?"

"Can't help it," Loki panted. "Stop moving, let me..."

He pushed Thor's hands away, trying to lean back a little, perhaps deliberately or maybe inadvertently giving Thor a view of where they were joined, the oil darkening the gold of his body hair, the contrast between his pelvis and the faint curves of Loki's rear. Filthy really. Especially when he began to move...

"Ah! Oh..."

So that was where he liked it. But Thor was feeling underutilised, for all it was the stuff of dreams to watch Loki work himself on his length. Surely there was a better way...

Once Loki had tired himself out a little, of course.

It was difficult to remain detached from such a sight, and such sensations, but Thor was determined, concentrating, grabbing Loki's wrist when he tried to stroke himself.

"No. I'm not done with you yet."

Loki laughed, breathing heavily.

"Done with me? And here I thought we'd agreed that you would lie still and enjoy while I... Well, it would be rude to say exactly what."

No, no, that's what he wanted, to hear Loki's desires...

"Say it. I am not easily shocked."

Loki grinned at him and leant forward, running his finger nails up his chest.

"While I took exactly what I wanted."

Oh, so that's how it was? No input from him. He was a toy to Loki, a convenient piece of flesh to enjoy.

Well, Thor never had been particularly good at inaction.

He grabbed Loki with no warning and rolled them, both of them moaning as he slipped out and left the bed before dragging Loki across it by the ankles.

He had not had such a tall partner in some time, and Loki's legs seemed almost endless as he yanked him to the edge of the mattress and pushed in again, using his height and strength to find an angle that had Loki moaning and gripping the sheets.

"I like this view better," he growled. "Seeing what I do to you."

Tangled hair, arching back, eyes screwed shut, better than he could have imagined, feeling the way Loki's body clung and yielded to him. Intoxicating. Poisonously good.

He wanted to talk, to challenge, but he was beyond words now, only letting out grunts of exertion and cries of pleasure, growing closer and closer, growing rougher with it and seeing Loki hurriedly stroking his cock like he knew this couldn't last. So, so close...

In his fantasy, they came together. In reality, he watched as Loki cried out, his body going rigid for a few moments, tears in his eyes - though from intensity or sensitivity, Thor couldn't tell. He merely carried on for a few more moments, enjoying the tightening of Loki's body until he shoved deep, knowing Loki would feel his climax deep within himself.

His knees were weak suddenly, needing to flop back down onto the bed, the pair of them simply panting for what seemed like several minutes before Loki swallowed hard.

"I knew you'd do what I wanted if I riled you up a little."

Thor fixed him with what was probably an unimpressive glare.

"You could have just asked."

"Mmm... No. It's always better when they're trying to impress."

He stretched and pushed his way back up onto the bed itself, not planning to sleep with his feet dangling it seemed.

"The gates will be locked by now," he said. "So I suppose you ought to stay the night. Be a dear and blow out the lamp?"

Nonplussed, but exhausted, Thor could do little but obey.


	14. The Morning

Thor woke with a dry mouth and what seemed to be far too many limbs.

Ah. Loki.

Well, he wouldn't have guessed he was a cuddler...

They both reeked of sex and sweat. He could hardly walk the streets like this, not if he was trying to be respectable. And he still needed something that counted as evidence...

His eyes swivelled to the plants drying above them. Dried specimens were going to be difficult. They'd be crushed much too easily if he tried to conceal one in his pocket. He'd need a relatively fresh one if possible. And to his untrained eye, all leaves looked more or less the same. What if there was more than one kind of plant up there?

Loki stirred beside him. No time to steal one now, then.

"Hmph. Not even a good morning kiss?" Loki mumbled.

"Not while I smell like this. You wouldn't like it."

"I should send you out there smelling of me."

Thor shrugged like he didn't care. He wasn't planning on giving Loki any more ammunition in this little battle. Every time he thought he was a step ahead, he found Loki waltzing round him from an unexpected direction.

Maybe they were still dancing to completely different tunes.

Loki stretched and groaned and despite himself Thor couldn't help but be interested in the sight of long legs and a hint of oily slickness. He chastised himself. Focus, man!

"I suppose you can sponge off once I'm finished," Loki said, standing up and opening the chest at the end of the room, fishing out a thick robe from within and stepping outside in it.

Could there be something interesting in there? Thor wished he had more time. Alas, even when he was fairly sure he'd heard Loki move off in search of water, carrying a large metal jug with him, he might only have seconds.

A living plant, a living plant... Thor scoured the ceiling, not wanting his interest to be noticed even by chance. But there was an order here. The ones nearest the door seemed older, more dried, so the freshest ones ought to be... Yes, there. Directly above him, a thick stem with small yellow flowers and scalloped leaves. Perfect.

He had only just slipped it into the pocket of Volstagg's coat and got back into bed as though he'd never left when Loki returned.

"I hope cold water will do," he said. "The wait for hot was too much, I felt."

Trying not to look guilty, Thor simply watched Loki's progress, standing on a towel as he poured out half the jug into a shallow bowl and started wiping his skin from his neck down.

He had a strange desire to wash Loki's hair for him. To ease the oils out of his scalp, let it dry to a shiny, sleek flow of black.

But that wasn't who they were. That was not this affair. Instead he just smiled at the way Loki sighed as he rinsed himself off and got up to take his turn with the sponge. Despite what they'd done, this seemed like the most intimate, washing and dressing together.

"Will I see you again?" he asked, not really sure why.

"I expect so. You think I'm a murderer. You're wrong. And then one day I'll be gone and you'll have only happy memories."

"But will we..."

"Perhaps. I did rather enjoy myself."

A straight answer for once. Or close to one. Even if it wasn't quite what he wanted to hear.

Not as much as he didn't want to step out of Loki's caravan and see Gamora's face fall at the sight of him. Shit.

"Wait," he said, chasing her as she turned away, resisting the urge to look back and gauge Loki's reaction. Would he be smug or would there be even a touch of sympathy?

"Fuck you," she said. "He was right, wasn't he? You're his now."

"No! I swear. Gamora, wait, let me explain."

The tears in her eyes were disarming. He couldn't believe she cried often.

"What could there possibly be to explain?"

Deep breaths, low voice.

"I am playing him," Thor said. "I need to see inside his home. I need to be trusted enough for him to leave me there alone, even for moments. There may be evidence that I can gather."

Her expression softened a fraction, but only that.

"And why should I trust you?"

True. Why indeed? He needed to come up with something pretty good.

"How about... Unless I get answers, you pay me nothing?"

She scoffed.

"And let you starve?"

"I mean it. I'm determined to get to the bottom of this. Let me prove it to you. No answers, no money. I'll get by, don't worry. But this is your one chance to know the truth. Know that you are not wasting it."

She seemed conflicted, but then sagged, a little of the strength she'd been doggedly showing the world fading away.

"Alright," she said. "And I hope you have fun distracting Loki."

He let her go then. There was no sense in extending the agony.

For a start, he had to think about who he could possibly ask about plants.


	15. Revelations

Who would know about botany? Enough to identify from a single stem and tell him if it was poisonous and, if it was, how much would kill a human. How long did it take to take effect? Was it a predictable science, judging between consumption and demise?

After all, it would not be a clever scheme if Nebula had dropped dead before she was even in the box.

There was the university, of course, but he rather doubted that they'd look too kindly on him swanning in with a battered twig demanding to know what it was.

Who else might know? A doctor perhaps? But even for this purpose, taking one away from the care of the sick sat ill with him.

A pharmacist though... They knew about plants, right?

Not the first few he tried, unfortunately. Inquiries about anything not on the shelves was evidently unusual in the extreme. But each one directed him to another in a different area until he had been walking for several hours. His exertion from the night before was making itself known just a little, but he was determined not to give up.

The fifth shop he was sent to, miles out of his usual neighbourhoods, proved to be his salvation.

Not that the pharmacist himself was much help, looking Thor up and down and giving the distinct impression that he was not the sort of man they wanted in this establishment.

However, it was relatively quiet and when a young lady in a white apron appeared at the door with a large book titled 'Plantes of the Felde' in hand, he merely shrugged, no barrier to her trying to help.

"Thank you, Miss," Thor said as she laid it on the counter and began turning the pages. "I'm much obliged."

She gave him a shy smile, turning to a section on common weeds and carefully comparing his specimen to each drawing. If he were a better detective, he mused, he would be like this. Steady and methodical. But instead he got by with dogged determination, like a terrier chasing a rat.

"My daughter is very keen on learning," the pharmacist said. "A fine assistant. Makes very good pastilles too."

"I'm sure she is a credit to you, sir."

How strange to have such stilted conversation. He was so used to Volstagg's joviality that he almost forgot about formal words.

It took the young lady some time, her pretty brows pinched into a little frown, work-roughened fingers running down the pages, but finally she tapped upon the book.

"Here, sir," she said. "I believe it is ragwort."

Ragwort? What was that? Thor followed her finger, sure enough finding exactly the same scooping leaves and thin petalled flowers with a note of their colour. So, Mr Magician, what was this for? How easily could it kill?

Extremely common... Causes a reaction in certain people - might Nebula have had an aversion to it? The symptoms did not seem serious, more like skin irritation than anything potentially deadly.

And then Thor read a sentence that made his heart leap and his stomach roll.

_Ragwort is extremely poisonous to horses and other equines through damage to the liver. The poison is unable to be excreted and causes a cumulative effect. Reversal is almost impossible._

"Sir," he said urgently. "What might the symptoms of liver damage be?"

Putting aside the fact humans and horses were likely different, a liver was a liver...

"Well, there are several. Swelling of the abdomen. Yellowing of the whites of the eyes. In some cases, the poisons from the liver reach the brain, leading to addlement."

"Addlement?"

"Tiredness and confusion. A lack of coordination."

Nebula's accident. What if her fall from the horse was not an accident? What if someone - Loki? - had slowly and steadily poisoned her mount in the hopes of a fatal throwing?

And then when she survived...

"Thank you," Thor said, laying a couple of coins onto the counter. "That was very helpful, thank you."

He needed to see that horse. If the poison could not get out, surely it would still be carrying the effects of it...

Of course, he was now a long way from the circus ground and his stomach was rumbling, his body complaining at having done a lot of exercise without a great deal of food to help it. He was forced to stop for a pie - and maybe he was regretting his offer of no fee as his money was not endless - but at least that could be eaten on the way.

And it gave him time to think.

He still had no motive for the crime, or any real explanation of how it was done, but the circumstantial evidence was stacking up. A normally trusty horse throws its rider, maiming her. She begins to work with a man who has plants poisonous to horses drying in his home. A connection? Maybe?

Then again, if his task were complete, why was he still preparing the plants?

The horror hit him so hard that he almost choked on a piece of crust.

Gamora may be in grave danger. The awkward sister, asking questions, proving too much of a risk... What if Loki meant to dispose of her too?

He needed to investigate this further immediately.


	16. A Message

Thor was out of breath when he made it back to the circus, having half run all the way there. A line had already formed for the evening's performance, and they did not much like him trying to push through, no matter how much he apologised.

"Ticket, sir?" the young boy on the gate asked him.

"I'm a friend of Gamora. I need to see her, urgently."

"Miss Gamora is preparing for the show."

"Yes, I know, but I really must..."

"Ticket, madam? Thank you, enjoy the spectacle."

He wasn't getting in. He couldn't get in, certainly not in time to get to Gamora and warn her. And maybe they'd be lucky, maybe it wouldn't be tonight, but what if it was? What if Loki had already upped the dosage?

He prowled outside the gate like a caged beast, back and forth. If he strained his ears, he could hear the applause and cheers of the crowd. Nothing that sounded like shock or horror yet...

It was such a relief to see Gamora making her way across the muddy ground after what felt like hours, still in her headdress, but with a blanket wrapped around the rest of the outfit.

"You're alright," Thor said, aware of how stupid that sounded.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Maybe he had been jumping to conclusions to think the danger was quite so immediate...

"I need to see Nebula's horse. And yours, maybe, I can't be sure yet."

She looked at him cautiously. He probably wasn't making a great deal of sense.

"The horse broke two legs in the fall," she said. "We had to shoot him. Poor Neb never forgave herself."

Shit. He'd never be able to tell now if it had been poisoned or not... All the same, she was looking at him like he was unhinged so he probably ought to explain.

"I found this in Loki's caravan," he said, pulling out his thoroughly battered ragwort. "And I think he may have poisoned Nebula's horse, caused it to throw her."

She took it from him, examining it.

"Ragwort," she said, reminding him that she knew her animals and that he could have just asked her from the start. "It takes a lot to hurt a horse and they won't eat it fresh. Too bitter."

"He's drying it. Would they eat it dry?"

She frowned, considering it. Maybe they would.

"But why would he do that? For what purpose?"

Thor shrugged. Reason was rather where his theory fell down. But maybe there was no reason.

"Some people just like to feel powerful," he said. "They like to get away with things. Look, I'm not sure yet, but you need to be careful. Let no one near your horse. Keep his feed separate, locked away if you can. Please, stay safe."

She nodded brusquely.

"I can look after myself," she said. "But thank you. I'll be vigilant."

He tried to shake her hand through the fence, but couldn't quite manage it, more of a brush of fingers than anything else. And then there was nothing else to do but go home and try to think and sleep.

God, and eat something.

He practically had a cloud over his head as he walked in the door. To be almost sure of what happened and yet having no way to prove it. No way to say definitely that he was right.

Loki was probably laughing at him right now...

"Oh, lad," Volstagg said, sweeping up. "I've got your jacket for you. Hilde tightened up the buttons by the way. Should hold a while but she says not to be so rough with them."

"Thanks. I, er... Long story, but I needed to carry a flower. Sorry if your pocket's full of petals."

Volstagg just laughed, so happy and unaware of the turmoil Thor was going through.

"Oh, and a young lady brought a letter for you."

A letter? A young lady? He didn't know many of those, even fewer who knew where he lived...

The fear gripped him before he even read it, a strange, unshifting dread.

One line. No signature.

_Leave me alone_

A shiver ran up his spine.

"What did she look like? What did she say? Tell me everything."

Perhaps Volstagg was a little surprised by his fervency, taking a step back and almost leaning on his broom.

"Well, she came in, asked for you. I said you were out. She said she didn't want to see you anyway and to give you this."

"And her looks?"

He ought to have known Volstagg had no eyes for any woman but his wife...

"Tall, I suppose. Dark hair, very short. Wore a hat. Pretty, I suppose, in a pale way. In need of a few hot meals."

That sounded more like Loki than anyone else. But Volstagg had seen Loki and was suspicious of him and would easily have recognised him, and besides, his hair was long.

"Oh! And she had a stick. I think she had a twisted ankle or something. Bit of a limp on her."

No... No, it couldn't be. But if she'd cut her hair, darkened it somehow...

Alive. Nebula, alive? And how could she know where he lived if not through Loki? Which meant he knew exactly where she was.

Why, then, was she contacting him, apparently freely? Why had she left without a word? Without telling her sister even? What was she running from? From Loki, perhaps? Did he have some kind of hold over her that had made her leave?

Is that why he'd poisoned her horse?

He was stumbling from one mystery into another, it seemed. First it was who had done what to Nebula and why, now it was why she would leave.

Assuming it had even been Nebula. Loki could have sent anyone with a stick and a fake limp. Throwing him off the scent again. Making him chase a ghost.

The writing though... That couldn't be faked. Not easily. So unless Loki just happened to have a note demanding he keep his distance...

Oh, why did that sound so thoroughly plausible?

He would have to ask Gamora about this. Establish its veracity first. Then deal with what it meant and how it could have come to be.

Why couldn't things just be simple?


	17. Following

Another morning that he was outside Gamora's caravan, waiting for her to wake up. Never mind Loki, people would think they were the ones having an affair. If his one night with Loki even could count as an affair. 

She opened the door yawning, clearly not exactly surprised to see him. She would be though, when he showed her what he had.

"Don't worry," she said, tying her hair into a long braid. "No one has tried to murder me and I've moved the oats to where only I can get to them."

"There's been a development," Thor said urgently. "Can we talk inside?"

She blinked owlishly at him, and ushered him in, closing the door behind them.

It was so strange. Two hammocks up as usual, as though Nebula was just out somewhere and might be coming back at any moment. And maybe she was right, for all it seemed a vain hope.

Not wanting to cloud her judgement with his suspicions though, he handed over the note without a word, feeling a little like he was intruding in her space. Necessary though.

She stared at it, breathing suddenly sharp.

"Where did you find this?" she asked. "You were locked out."

"Someone delivered it to me, to my home. A woman, my neighbour says."

She was shaking her head, incredulous.

"But it looks like Nebula's writing."

That was what he had been waiting for. Not confirmation that she was out there, not just yet, but at least a glimmer of something, potentially.

"She might be alive," he said quietly, barely daring to believe it himself. "But this might be planted evidence. Still, if it was her, the only way she could know my address is through Loki. He, er... He followed me home one day."

"Like a stray dog."

Although slightly brighter, there was an air of sadness about her eyes and Thor could guess what she was thinking. That Nebula had run out on her without a word, without a backward glance even. Why would she do that? What had happened?

And what did it have to do with her accident and the ragwort?

"What's your plan then?" she asked, instantly pragmatic once more. "How will you find her if she does not want to be found?"

A plan. Yes. That was a good idea.

"Loki is my only lead. I'm going to tail him. See where he goes, who he meets. I will find out why they have done this."

She pressed her lips together and nodded, but at least there was a faint hint of faith in her expression now.

He quite enjoyed tailing people. Maybe that was what drew him to this career. Maybe in some previous life he'd been a hunter of some kind. He liked to follow and know that he wasn't being seen.

All the same, waiting for Loki to leave seemed to take forever. Thor tried to get himself into a comfortable position behind a bush, out of sight of the gate, but being still for a long period didn't tend to do him any good at the best of time.

He paced as best he could, back and forth, just to keep his legs flexible and ready.

His mind probably exaggerated the time, but it felt like hours before he saw a familiar dark head of hair, neatly tied back. He watched as Loki approached the road, checking his way was clear, and waited until he was almost out of vision before moving out from behind his bush and following.

He was a large and distinctive man, he knew. With strangers, it was one thing, but Loki would spot him a mile off. He'd have to be extra careful.

Other detectives wore hats. Loki would be looking for a hat. Distance would do more for him than that.

First stop, gin shop. More brandy? Surely not. Those bottles had been mostly full. Even a hopeless drunk could not finish all those. What was he up to?

A stop for food, little paper packages coming out of the shop while Thor loitered in an alleyway.

He watched as Loki stepped out into the sunshine, smiling lightly, bright and so handsome.

Where was he going now? To Nebula? Was the drink and food for her?

If he didn't know better, he might think Loki was taking streets at random. But there was clearly method in it as they each ducked under low-hanging laundry and stepped around children and refuse.

If he was trying to avoid being followed, he'd use this route too. Was Loki suspicious? Thor didn't think he'd been spotted, but then again, they did seem to be entering a rough neighbourhood. He ought to beware of a trap.

Loki was walking with distinct purpose, but Thor was still surprised when he noticed what kind of building he was approaching. The women outside, the cuts of their dresses, the heavy make-up even in the day. This was a brothel.

And how ridiculous that his first reaction was hurt pride. Hadn't he been enough? Why was Loki seeking pleasure elsewhere?

Unless Nebula was here. Surely not. Yes, there were few ways to make money, but...

Loki stopped dead in front of the steps of the establishment. He took a few steps to his right. And then his left. And then he walked backwards and spun on his toes, grinning.

"This has been a fun game, Thor," he said. "But how about to just talking to me, rather than skulking around in the shadows?"

Every time he thought he had him...

Thor tried not to look ruffled at all as he approached, that smirk infuriating him thoroughly.

"Just wanted to see who you might have business with," he said. "In case it was anyone... interesting."

He watched Loki's eyes carefully, willing him to give something away. A flicker of confusion or guilt perhaps.

There was only the bright glimmer he always wore. The look Thor was beginning to suspect was a shield.

An invisible mask that somehow he had to rip off.


	18. Some Truth

"Though I realise we have a mutual interest in one another, I'm not sure that you would be welcome where I'm going," Loki said, still smiling.

"Not when you're visiting someone I believed to be dead, no."

Was that a little shadow crossing Loki's brow? Had be imagined that or had it actually happened?

He recovered quickly though, chuckling.

"I have strange tastes, but perhaps not that strange."

A bluff? Or did he genuinely not know what Thor was referring to?

Only one way to find out. He'd have to show his hand. He reached into his pocket - jacket still smelling of soap, thanks, Hilde - and drew out the note that he was now fairly certain was from Nebula.

Though whether posthumous or not, he didn't yet know.

"This was delivered to my home by a woman with a limp," he said, steely. "And Gamora recognises the handwriting. So either Nebula is still alive and you have told her about me, or you have a letter from her demanding privacy which you have had sent to me in order to distract me from the truth. Either way, once again, my investigation seems to tell me that you are the one person who knows what has happened here."

Loki's nostrils had flared widely, his jaw clenched. Rattled. Good. Either he was a good actor or he was finally surprised.

"Oh, that stupid girl..." he muttered. "She's not supposed to leave the house. It's not safe."

So she was alive. The relief hit Thor like a brick. Had he ever really believed she was alright? Hope was dangerous. Maybe he hadn't.

He still had many questions though.

"What have you done to her?" he demanded. "And why?"

Loki turned and began striding off, making Thor hurry to keep up.

"I have a better idea. You tell me what your ridiculous theories are and I shall tell you how wrong you are. And then we can all go home and stop this nonsense."

Fine. Thor was a few steps from winning this little chess game; Loki could have his smugness if he wished.

"I don't have details, but... Your caravan is full of drying ragwort, a plant poisonous to horses. I do not believe the accident that ended Nebula's riding career was an accident at all. I think you poisoned her horse in the hopes of killing her, for reasons I am yet to establish. When that failed, you took her on as an assistant and decided to simply get rid of her. On the final night, she squashed herself into the box and was transported out of the circus."

His story held about as much water as a broken bottle, but he pressed on.

"And now you are using whatever hold you have on her to keep her captive and afraid, whether for your own motives or under orders. The father... I am still not sure what to make of him. And I don't know why you would now be poisoning Gamora's horse, unless..."

"I didn't poison the fucking horses," Loki snapped. "Though I'm impressed by your identification of weeds, the accident was exactly that."

"Then why do you have it?"

"I needed to dye something. The petals gives a lovely shade of yellow. Mix in some rose madder and you get a sort of orange-red. Work it out."

What had he seen that was orange-red recently? There had been something, hadn't there?

"I found a hair in the box," he said uncertainly. "A red hair. But it was horse hair and there were only grey horses, so..."

A white horse tail would take colour well, wouldn't it? With a little experimentation, he could match Nebula's hair colour. Make a wig.

But Gamora would notice such a thing, living in such close quarters. Which meant it had to be for someone else. Someone pretending to be her?

"It wasn't her. She wasn't there," he said. "The last sighting wasn't her."

"Correct. But under the lights and the make-up, one pale red-haired woman can fool for another at a distance, especially with a false limp to help the illusion. When Gamora thinks she last saw her sister, she was seeing Mantis and Nebula was already miles away. How better to make someone disappear than if they were never there to begin with?"

It made so much sense. But still...

"Why?" he asked. "Why has she gone without a word? Why would she do that?"

A pause. A long pause. One that made his heart thump with worry.

"I'm afraid neither of us got much of a choice in the matter," Loki said.

And now Thor didn't know what he felt. Relief maybe that at least Loki was not actually a cold-blooded murderer, but sick at the thought of what he might now be walking towards. What was he about to uncover?

"What do you mean?" he asked. "No choice in what? And can I see her and verify that she is alive?"

After all, this could still be a ruse. A false letter, lies here, fooling him into believing she was alive.

"We shouldn't."

"But I must tell Gamora. If Nebula can even give a note or something to confirm that she is well..."

Loki stopped suddenly and Thor realised he had no idea where they had come from or where they now were. He would get home eventually, probably, but it would take a while if he was abandoned here. And he was not used to that vulnerability.

"Gamora cannot know," Loki hissed. "She will be in danger if she knows. That's why you have to let this go."

Thor frowned. That sounded awfully familiar.

"For my own peace of mind then," he said. "Take me to her. Please."

"I shouldn't. She won't like it."

But he was considering it, Thor could tell. And that meant this was real. Or a trap, he supposed.

"Just once," Thor said, knowing that was a promise he likely couldn't keep. "Just so I can be sure. And then I'll do as she says and leave her alone."

Loki knawed on his lip and finally nodded, slumping slightly.

"Alright, fine," he said. "But it's your own fault if she tears your eyes out."


	19. Found

"Your dyeing," Thor said thoughtfully as Loki led him deeper and deeper through a maze of tiny streets. "I'd have thought I could smell it in your caravan."

"And what did my home smell like?"

Huh. Yeah.

"Alcohol," he said. "You know, I did think it was odd. So much booze and yet I'd not seen you drunk."

"It's a fairly disgusting process, I'm afraid. I'd rather be smelling brandy all night than my own stale urine."

Yes, quite. Loki was visibly agitated. He was nervous. Thor wondered exactly what was about to happen when they met the mysterious Nebula. And whether she would or would not be susceptible to his pleas that she at least tell her sister that she was alive and well, explain herself a little.

He ought to have known, as they climbs the steps of a grubby building, all peeling whitewash and unswept stairs, that it would not be so easy.

"Hello," Loki said, tapping what seemed like a specific rhythm on the door. "It's me."

There was rattling inside, dragging footsteps perhaps, and then a voice.

"I saw you from the window. Is that who I think it is there with you?"

Her voice was smooth, but strained. Like speaking was an effort.

A roll of eyes.

"If you think it's the person you revealed your continued vitality to, even though you know not to leave here, then yes, I suppose it is."

"And you couldn't lie? You couldn't put him off?"

"He's very persistent."

Stony silence.

"I have drink for you," Loki said. "For the pain."

Pain? What pain? Thor raised his eyebrows at him in question, but got only a curt head shake.

A lock clicked. And then another and another and then the bolt scraped across and Thor was met by a woman almost completely covered in shawls and loose, flowing clothing. Her eyes were tinged red, a hunted look about them, snatching the bottle from Loki's hands and moving to close the door again.

It slammed hard on Thor's foot, but he didn't allow himself even to flinch as he barged in. He was going to get answers, whether she liked it or not.

"Tell me what's going on," he demanded. "Tell me what is so bad that you left your sister without a word."

"Oh, yes, I'm sure she's heartbroken about it," Nebula said bitterly as Loki shut the door behind them.

"She is, actually. She thought you were dead."

"Good. It's better that she does."

"Why?"

She sneered at him and turned away, hobbling to a chair. If he had not seen her face, and if her back were not so straight, he might have taken her for an old woman.

"Well, she's never going to see me again. I imagine the effect will be much the same."

Thor paused, glancing around the room. The single room. Stark, bare almost. A chair and a bed were the only real pieces of furniture, bottles neatly lined up around the walls, piles of books, a candle on the mantlepiece and a pot hanging over the grate. Old-fashioned, really.

"You left me a note," he said slowly, sitting down on the floor, trying to make himself small and unthreatening. "So you can leave this place at will. No one is holding you here."

"It's not safe," Loki said, leaning against the wall. "And she knows that."

Soft voice, as though he talking to a scared child.

"Why isn't it safe, Nebula? What would happen if you left?"

She wasn't looking at him, fishing a corkscrew out of a pocket with gloved hands. Was she cold, that she was bundled up so? And she seemed to have no intention of responding.

A different approach then.

"Loki said that neither of you had much of a choice in this. Why is that? Is it your father?"

"Loki is a two-bit showman who only thinks with his cock," she mumbled. "I wouldn't bother listening to him."

At least she'd said something.

"He could have got rid of you, but no, no, Loki has to have his fun, doesn't he? Well, I hope it was worth it."

"Not sure yet," Loki said, grinning at Thor's head whipping round. "I think I need another go before I can decide."

How could he even joke at a time like this? Seeing this woman curl in on herself in a way that made his skin crawl? Something was happening here, something terrible. Why else would she be so terrified? A deep, unchanging fear. Habitual.

"I'm being taken to another circus," she said, eyes glazed. "And if Gamora knew then she would try to come with me. She always had to be the good one, the thoughtful one, the one who made sacrifices... Sickening, really. But she mustn't. She's happy where she is. She's good at the act. Better than I ever was."

Moving? That didn't sound too bad. Why did she sound so sad about it? Leaving her sister, yes, but Thor couldn't shake the idea that there was something else...

He thought about what Gamora had told him about the other circuses. How there were different types and... and things in jars...

"What kind of circus?" he asked.

Her harsh eyes met his, swigging from the bottle of brandy as though it was no stronger than milk.

"See if you can guess," she said, standing up and beginning to remove layers of cloth.

Thor couldn't keep his jaw from dropping, eyes going wide, only just managing to hold in a gasp.

So that's what Loki meant when he talked about the pain.


	20. Beneath the Shawls

Nebula faced the wall and stripped to the waist. Thor could only stare. Her skin was patchworked with bandages, but at the edges were whorls and spirals of blue. At first he took them for strange bruises, but he could see where they stopped, at the top of her spine, halfway down an arm, disappearing onto her lower half and he knew.

Tattoos. She was being steadily tattooed, all over her body.

He could barely imagine the agony of it. Pierced over and over again, relentlessly, sharp pain and then a lingering ache.

He had only ever seen such marks on men at the docks, never on a woman. And the patterns were so foreign and unusual. No anchors or mermaids. Patterns. Like a single line winding its way across every inch of bare skin. Almost hypnotic, in a way. Beautiful could also be said.

And yet he could see the faint brown shade of dried blood seeping beneath her bandages. Open wounds. Any one of them could become infected and kill her. No wonder she wasn't supposed to go out.

"Who is doing this to you?" he asked, voice almost shaking. "And why?"

"I fell," she spat. "I failed. Do you understand? At the one thing I was supposed to do, that I was born to do. I'm useless. But he found a new use for me."

She began pulling her clothes back on, audibly wincing as they caught her raw skin.

"When they're finished, they'll cover me totally," she said. "Hands, feet, head... Everything but my face. Everything visible. And then people will pay to see me."

She spoke like a zealot and it was terrifying.

"People already paid to see you in the magic show," Thor said softly. "You didn't need to do this."

She scoffed, turning and getting back into her chair.

"That role requires no skill. No dedication. Get in the box. Wiggle your toes. Fetch that person from the crowd. A dog could do it. Besides, moving around so much hurt my leg. This way I will get to sit most of the time. And I'll rely only on myself. My own attraction."

Was that it? A drive to be recognised? Striving for notice from a distant father?

"I still don't understand how this endangers Gamora," Thor said. "Why you can't just tell her the truth."

Nebula laughed, strained and humourless.

"She'd hate it. She'd hate the very idea of it. And then she'd try to come with me, even though she's not... She wouldn't..."

"She wouldn't fit in," Loki said behind him. "Or rather, she'd have to be made to fit in. There's born freaks and made freaks, you see."

Thor looked back at him over his shoulder and then back to Nebula.

"Did you want to be made?" he asked earnestly. After all, if it was really her choice...

"Yes. Of course. I'm going to be so special."

It had the air of repetition. Something she'd told herself again and again. He didn't believe her. The pain, the separation, the idea of letting strangers gawp at her... It was awful. And he thought he could see uncertainty in her eyes.

"Are you satisfied yet?" she snapped at him. "You've seen me now, you know the truth. This is what I want. Make Gamora give up looking for me. Make her carry on with her tricks and horses. Make her forget we ever knew each other."

"She is your sister."

"No. She's not. Look at me, how could I ever be her sister? We were just two girls the same age who told themselves a story about family. That's all. She's nothing to me."

A lie. Obviously a lie. But it was painfully evident that he wasn't going to get any further explanations from her, not today anyway.

Thor's heart was heavy, eyes prickling as Loki tapped him on the shoulder and jerked his head towards the door.

"What would they do to Gamora?" he asked on the stairs. "If she went too, what would they do to her?"

Loki hummed lightly.

"Well... she's different, you know. They would portray her as some kind of tribeswoman from some far off land. They would dress her up, make her speak nonsense, let people prod at her all day. Maybe they'd be allowed to work together and invent some story of the white woman taken in and tattooed by savages. And that would be the best case scenario. And you can see why that's unacceptable."

"It's disgusting. What century are we living in?"

A shrug.

"It's an income. A lot of these people have unusual conditions and no other opportunities for honest work. There's a dignity in the performance."

"It's exploitation. And you, you're helping them do it, helping them maim that poor girl."

Silence. Which was so unlike what he knew of Loki that Thor was immediately suspicious. Where was the retort, the response?

"What aren't you telling me?" Thor asked, snatching at his wrist, making him stop.

Loki's eyes were trained on the floor and Thor was stunned to realise that he was embarrassed. There was something he didn't want Thor to know.

"What is it, Loki? What aren't you telling me?"

A look full of venom.

"You think I can compete with those other acts?" Loki hissed. "No one talks about the magic show when they leave the circus. I had to choose - my skin or someone else's."

"What are you talking about?"

He didn't know why he asked.

He already knew. But somehow he had to hear it out loud.


	21. Despair

"I was given an ultimatum. Go to the freak show myself, or convince someone to take my place there. It wasn't exactly a difficult decision. Her skin or mine."

Thor was not hearing this. This callous reaction, this world of crawling over one another to survive. Far from the family Gamora portrayed them as.

For a start, she might not be the nicest person, but there was no denying that Nebula was vulnerable. She'd survived a terrible accident, lost a huge part of herself and now she'd been targeted with this...

By people she ought to trust. By the man who called himself her father, by a colleague who pretended to be a friend.

Thor liked to think that he was not a violent man, but deep inside, he knew that was not true. He was just extremely good at not acting upon his anger.

It was a stretch not to react physically, to clench his fists but keep them at his side, keep that anger for when he needed it.

Still, he felt no guilt when Loki flinched as he brought a finger up under his nose.

"You should be ashamed of yourself."

Loki snorted, but it seemed defensive more than anything else.

"I've been ashamed of myself since I understood the concept. But quite what good you think it will do, I don't know."

And that was just it, wasn't it? What good would it do to tell Gamora? What good could he do in these people's lives? Was there anything he could do, realistically, to male this situation better?

"How long do you think before he comes for you too?" Thor asked. "You might have got away this time, but if you're still not earning your keep sufficiently... How long before the risk comes back? How long before it's you being 'made'."

They shouldn't be doing this out here on the street. Even in a rough area, people would notice a heated argument. He ought to be more careful. So somewhere more private. Go home and think.

Instead, he dragged Loki into an alleyway, away from most prying eyes.

"Has it happened before?" he asked. "How many have you sent to be cut up and scarred?"

Defiance, chin upturned. Dignity was what Loki clung to and if necessary, Thor would rip it from him.

"None. And I haven't sent her. She's not being forced. I merely... suggested it as a possible career move."

Career. Like she was a seamstress or a shop keeper. Like she wasn't effectively owned by the circus. Especially now, with her skin marked so.

Thor wanted to help. Needed to. But he had absolutely no idea what to do. He didn't know this world or how it worked - how could he stride in and try to fix it? He was an outsider. Separate.

But he liked to think he knew injustice when he saw it. If this was normal in this business, then why the secrecy? This was not right, and even if Nebula insisted it was what she wanted, he couldn't shake the feeling that she was being coerced, or at least had been convinced in ways that were distinctly on the wrong side of ethical.

"So that's it?" he asked. "You want me to just step aside, let this happen? Pretend I never saw what I did? Pretend I don't know? Lie to Gamora?"

Loki shrugged, endeavouring to lean casually against the wall.

"Well, yes. It's nothing to do with you. Go back to your noble life. Forget about us. Maybe take me to bed a few more times before we leave... But then move on."

Thor wasn't sure he could do that. Not if he wanted to be able to sleep at night, or look at himself in the mirror.

This could be dangerous. To Gamora, to Nebula, to himself. The higher ups clearly had no mercy, no ounce of pity in their souls.

But this was wrong. And that meant he had to try.


	22. A Dilemma

Keep a cool head, his father used to tell him. Keep your toes warm and your head cool.

And then from his own experience, he'd learned the value of asking questions disguised as different questions. He ought to feel his way around this one.

"How long did those tattoos take to... do?" he asked, walking side by side with Loki, unsure if he was going home or back to the circus just yet.

Of course, what he was really asking was how long he had before they would be impossible to hide. How long before they covered her neck and scalp. How long did he have to... Well, not save her, that wasn't possible since she'd already endured so much, but at least have a situation where a high collar and gloves would be enough to conceal it all, able walk outside without being stared at for anything more than her limp perhaps.

"What do you mean?"

Loki was not most people. He would not be led, would not be fooled. But he liked to be clever and maybe Thor could use that to his advantage if he trod carefully. Allow him to reveal things under the guise of correction.

"Well, she's barely been gone two weeks. It seemed like a lot of flesh has already been covered. Is it not extremely painful? I would not have thought that she could stand it for excessively long periods of time."

"The artist comes for an hour a day to do his work, I believe."

An hour a day. Over fourteen hours' worth of agony. And what must the neighbours think? Those walls seemed thin; surely someone had heard her crying out.

"All of that in so short a time..."

"I've not seen it being done, but I expect she bears it well. You know, she barely wept when her leg was broken. Whimpered maybe, but not a single scream."

That was not natural. What awful pains had she been through to numb her so much?

Thor was becoming more and more suspicious of this so-called father with every passing moment. Taking children from the streets to craft into performing bears... It was not right.

"How did you learn your trade, Loki?" he asked. "How did you end up in this business?"

"You don't want to know."

"Then why did I ask?"

He heard the chuckle, but didn't know what could possibly be amusing about all of this.

"Are you trying to redeem me, Thor? Find some story of a hurt child, some reason for me to be the way I am? Something to make you feel better about being drawn to such a shameless villain? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"I am merely curious," Thor said. "But if you've not interested in sharing, I shan't press. I should really be seeing Gamora anyway."

That spurred some agitation. Good. The forced shield was beginning to irritate.

"What will you tell her?"

"I'm not sure yet."

It was the truth. He felt duty bound to tell her what he had learned, but at the same time the risk was so great...

She saw them coming, that much was obvious. She strode across the muddy ground like an empress, ruler of this domain, face a careful blank.

"We should talk in private," Thor said to her quietly.

Loki shot him a look of pure betrayal and Thor tried to pretend he didn't care. He had to do the right thing.

Which would, of course, be easier if he could work out what exactly the right thing was...

He genuinely didn't know what he was going to say as she slammed her door in Loki's face and locked it, turning to him with a blend of fear and anticipation and hope on her face.

And that's when he knew he had to tell the truth. Let her decide what she wanted to do. He could not lie to her on this.

"I've seen her," he said softly. "She is alive."

A deep exhale, tears of relief brimming in Gamora's eyes.

"Where? Take me to her."

It was almost physically painful to have to shake his head.

"She doesn't want to see you. Not just you. She wants to be left alone. She says she is going to join a different circus and you are not to worry. She says she will be happy and successful there."

The relief turned to confusion and then concern.

"But what is she going to do? Her leg, she can't strain herself..."

Thor hesitated. Was it better or worse to leave her wondering?

Maybe she would understand...

"She's... She is having her skin tattooed. All of her skin."

At least one person was reacting to it in a way that seemed logical to Thor. He had to catch her as her knees buckled, vitality draining from her face as he helped her ease down to the floor.

"But he always said... He always promised, not us..."

"Who did?" Thor asked. "Your father?"

She nodded vaguely, hands practically shaking, breathing harsh and almost painful-sounding.

"Why would she do this? Why wouldn't she tell me?"

Again, Thor hesitated. And he knew why - he didn't want to implicate Loki. Didn't want to let her know his part in it, not fully. Even if he would deserve it.

"She seems to think she's protecting you," he said, hoping it would be a comfort. "She knows you would not want to be separated, but also that you would not want to be where she plans to go. She knows how much you enjoy your current role and would hate for you to feel you had to sacrifice it."

And now she seized his hands, almost yanking him down to the floor with her, such surprising strength.

"You will not lie to me, Mr Odinson," she said. "For you are a good and kind man. Do you truly believe she is doing this of her own volition? Fully of her own accord?"

She had such faith in him. It was so clear in her eyes. And he could not bring himself to disappoint her.

"I do not know her," he said carefully. "But my instinct is that she has convinced herself that this is what she needs to do. A way to be useful and earn money. Whether she has come to this conclusion by herself or via persuasion, I cannot be sure."

Gamora shook her head violently, bracing herself on the wall as she stood.

"No..." she said. "No, she would not do this by herself. I know it. We have to stop this, we have to save her."

"How? I do not think she wants to be helped."

And now she fixed him with a stony gaze, one that told anyone with sense not to stand in her way.

"When we were children, she tried to stop me helping her tend her skinned knees. She's never liked accepting help, ever. We might need to inflict it on her. But perhaps not. Perhaps she's waiting for a reason to come back. We should try at least, make sure she knows she has a choice."

Wasn't it interesting that she was saying "we"?

And even more so that Thor felt reasonably happy to be part of it.


	23. Bones of a Plan

Thor knew he ought to tell Gamora the truth about Loki. How he was not merely the errand boy, how he had essentially coerced and convinced Nebula into it, had sacrificed her rather than himself.

Something held him back though. He told himself that it was thoughts of potential usefulness. How Loki's help might be vital if they were to succeed. But deep down, maybe he was hoping against hope that Loki would take a chance for redemption. Would help them, given the opportunity and a little protection from their unseen master.

"What do you propose?" he asked Gamora. "You know this world better than I do, but I know we must proceed cautiously all the same."

She seemed to have recovered from her initial shock, getting to her feet fully and beginning to pace.

"I've been uncomfortable for a long time," she said quietly. "Like there's a stone in my shoe or a crumb I can't swallow. I knew something was not right. We must be careful though - destroying the circuses completely would leave us all destitute. But perhaps it is time we began to work for ourselves. Control our own lives rather than having them run for us."

This was big, potentially. It wasn't really Thor's area of expertise, but he felt almost duty-bound to help. These people would need all the help they could get after all.

"You'll turn them against your father?" he asked. "How? It's difficult to suggest biting the hand that feeds, surely."

She sighed heavily, scraping her fingers through her hair.

"Perhaps, but there are also very few among us who don't have his marks on us, whether physical or not."

Thor thought of the scars he'd seen on Loki's shoulders and couldn't help but wonder, for all his protests that he was merely selfish. Were they also the work of their employer?

"I think we'll need to move Nebula quickly," he said. "And she won't like it, if her reaction to my first visit is anything to go by. Maybe we can make it look like she ran away or..."

"I'd fear for her life if we did that. But I fear for it anyway and you're right. We don't have a choice. Which means we need somewhere safe for her to go, somewhere secure, where no one will think to look for her."

She looked at him expectantly, expecting him to know somewhere. But he only had his office, which was not exactly ideal, or there was Volstagg and Hilde who surely had a little hidden room somewhere to store their moonshine in... But he couldn't get them involved in this. That wasn't fair. They had children to be thinking of and illicit goods were one thing, hiding strangers was quite another.

"Loki will come to my door the moment he knows she's gone," he said.

"I thought you and he were... involved."

The heat on his cheeks was run through with shame, for all that she hadn't sounded in the least bit accusatory.

"We're... I don't know where we stand, but I know I can't trust him. Not yet. Possibly not ever. And certainly not on this. He only took me to see her under duress."

He waited for her to ask why Loki even knew, but either she wasn't curious or she was too distracted to question it. She had her palms together, almost like she was praying, tapping her index fingers to her lips.

"We must behave as though everything is normal," she said. "Like I don't know the truth. Tell Loki you lied to me."

"With what? What lie?"

"That you caught him following him. And... Hmm. It must be long-winded for you to have been here this long."

"Perhaps I told you I believed Nebula to be dead, her body disposed of, and had to comfort you in the ensuing distress you were in."

She obviously didn't much like that, but shrugged and nodded all the same.

"Alright. I'll try to seem distraught. And you can distract him over the next few days while I organise things. Shouldn't be too hard for you."

It was pretty obvious what she was implying, but Thor was not in the mood tonight at all. And he doubted Loki would be either, considering.

"I will come to you tomorrow," Gamora said. "And we can find a safe place and then visit my sister."

She had visibly brightened and Thor recognised the feeling. She had purpose now, hope. Her hunch had been right. She'd been right to seek help and now she could do something about it.

He just hoped they were successful.

Loki practically pounced on him once he left her caravan, breathing hard, nervous.

And so Thor lied through his teeth, praying he wasn't being too obvious.

"So what now?" Loki asked.

"She wants me to continue working on the case, even though I told her I believe it to be hopeless. But she wants to fight until the end of her time here, so I will humour her."

"And being paid to do nothing doesn't concern you?"

An affected shrug. He had to seem carefree and careless, morally grubby to say the least.

It was vital that Loki suspect nothing, even if Thor felt distinctly uneasy about all of this. What if he inadvertently caused great harm to all of them?

Not only to Gamora, but Loki too. After all, it was unlikely to go down well when it became apparent that the not-quite tattooed lady had vanished once again when he was supposed to be keeping track of her.

Loki hummed lightly, like he wasn't surprised to discover Thor was as ruthless as any other deep down, only concerned with where his next meal was coming from.

"Everyone needs to eat, I suppose," he said. "But it does make me wonder how you'll spend your days while you're 'investigating'..."

An invitation? Thor was tempted to leave him hanging, but it was the simplest way to gain trust and make Loki believe they were the ones pulling the wool over other people's eyes together.

"I'm sure I'll think of something to occupy myself with," he said.

Loki's teeth shone in the late glimmers of sunlight.


	24. Fleshing Out

Of course there was no time for anything distracting that night. There was the show to worry about for a start, and Thor doubted he could focus enough anyway.

They'd have to put Nebula in a guest house, he thought. That was the most sensible option, but paying for her to stay there would be difficult. He couldn't afford it and he was willing to bet Gamora couldn't either.

Tiredness was the only thing that let him sleep, and he was still up much, much too early the next morning, Volstagg's eldest, Young Hilde, bringing him overstewed coffee. She had a little bit of a shine for him, which he tried to discourage as best he could, but like a lot of young women she seemed to mistake politeness for romantic interest. What that said about the boys her own age, he wasn't quite sure.

However, the hurt look she gave him over the top of her mop when Gamora arrived perhaps showed that she'd soon get over him. He wasn't going to correct her assumptions.

"I could hardly sleep last night," Gamora said, though he thought for rather different reasons. "And it's a miracle I didn't fall from the horse. I can't believe she's out there right now."

"We need a solid idea for where we're going to take her," Thor said pointedly. "You know Loki will begin searching immediately. And money is not exactly limitless for either of us."

"Don't worry," she said, smiling brightly. "I'm going to play Loki at his own game. Hide her in plain sight."

"Where?"

"In the circus, of course. I spoke with Mantis, thinking she probably knew something, but not too much and sure enough. She had no idea what was happening. She'd only agreed to help in the disappearance because she thought Nebula wanted to leave. Poor thing is wracked with guilt. Nebula can hide with her. We'll put her somewhere he'll never think to look."

"Will Nebula put up with that? Being confined."

"I think so. Once she knows there are other options available to her."

Thor could not claim to be so confident. And besides, there was the logistics of getting her into the circus again without being noticed, especially by Loki.

Ah. That was probably his role. Distracting him.

Which he would enjoy, no doubt, but all the same. He preferred his amorous adventures to be based on spontaneous mutual desire, not on scheming. Besides, Loki might well become suspicious if he were to suddenly develop untamed lust when he'd been resisting so well.

Although in all likelihood, Loki was going to be suspicious of him regardless, especially when he discovered Nebula was gone.

"Can we go?" Gamora asked, snapping him out of his musing. "Now?"

He understood her eagerness, but caution was still necessary. He could not guarantee that Loki would not be there, or worse, the artist. And who knew how long it would take to convince her to leave with them? She hadn't exactly been keen.

He was preparing himself for a fight.

Maybe Gamora was too. It was difficult to tell what was excitement and what was agitation.

Definitely the latter the closer they got to the right part of town, Thor constantly watching for dark hair or shifting eyes, any sign of Loki intercepting them.

"She's been right under my nose," Gamora said bitterly. "Not even five miles away."

"But one amongst thousands of people. Like one bird in a whole flock."

Had Loki had a key to the main building? Shit, maybe. He couldn't remember. Hadn't they just strolled in?

Well, the lock seemed to have been forced at some point. Which was helpful for their current purpose, but didn't exactly suggest this was a safe place.

He couldn't remember the special knock, but just hammered on the door. No point in hiding. She'd figure it out soon enough.

"Nebula?" Gamora called. "Nebula, it's me."

Thor wasn't sure what he was expecting, but the sound of glass breaking wasn't high on the list. And yet somehow he wasn't surprised at all.

"Go away!" the voice from inside. "You're not supposed to be here."

"I've come to take you away. I've come to take you home. You don't have to do this."

"Tell Loki I'll kill him."

Not if Gamora didn't kill him first, Thor thought.

"He doesn't know we're here. He doesn't even know I know. Let me in. You need to talk to me. You owe me that."

"I owe you nothing!"

Thor had never seen such determination before and likely never would again. Gamora's brow was a veritable tempest, her jaw looking like it could stop a batteleship.

"I am not leaving. Would you rather I stayed and was caught here?"

A risky gamble. A battle of wills, it seemed. Each desperate to save the other.

The locks clicked, and for the second time in as many days, Thor forced his foot into the gap.

Oh, that was going to bruise something awful...


	25. Convincing

The slap wasn't much of a shock, and she'd clearly been drinking. Most of her energy seemed to go into the build up rather than the strike. It stung, but it wouldn't leave a mark for too long at least.

"You said you'd leave me alone," Nebula said, voice choked. "You said you'd make her live her life."

"I made a promise her first," he said, not nearly as apologetic as he'd meant to be. "I promised to find you."

She seemed more like a scared beast than ever, chest heaving, her lopsided stance exacerbated by the slight stoop she was wearing. Had the artist been already today? Was she in terrible pain?

"If we're going to talk about promises," Gamora said. "Then we should talk about father. He promised not to separate us, not to make us change."

"He's not our father and you know it. He's just the man who made us. Stop lying to yourself about family and belonging. It's a lie. You know it is."

Thor felt thoroughly out of place as Gamora rushed forwards to support her swaying sister, helping to ease her back to her chair even as she whimpered in pain. This felt private, and yet he couldn't just leave. He had to help. Somehow.

"He didn't make us," she said softly. "We made us. Together. And we should take ourselves back. All of us. Work for ourselves. Control where we go and what we do."

"You know that's not possible."

Why wasn't it? Gamora had seemed so sure...

"You're just prejudiced," Nebula groaned as she settled into her seat. "About the freaks. You think you're better than them. Better than me..."

A roll of eyes that Thor thought only he saw.

"I just think they deserve better than being forced to feel grateful for a pittance called pay. And you deserve better than this."

Even exhausted and half-drunk, there was no mistaking the look in Nebula's eyes. She did not believe that. She didn't believe she deserved anything, probably.

What must it be like to have all your self-worth targeted towards one thing? And then to have that thing ripped from you?

"I don't want to be saved, Gamora," she said miserably. "I don't even want my name anymore. I mean, come on... Nebula? You really think my mother, whoever she was, looked at me as a screaming baby and decided to name me that?"

Thor thought it was quite nice. Beautiful plumes of colour in the sky... But he didn't want to interrupt.

"What will they call you in your new circus? Do you know yet?"

"The Painted Lady."

"Hmm. Pretty. Much prettier than The Raccoon Boy or whatever they call the man with the clawed hands these days."

A withering look, but Thor couldn't help but feel this was a test. Or at least that in some way he couldn't understand, what they were saying was not actually what they were saying. They knew each other so well that there was a whole other conversation going on beneath the surface.

What must it be like to be that close with someone?

And was he right in thinking that Nebula almost seemed like she wanted to be talked out of her decision?

"If this is what you really want, I won't stand in your way," Gamora said. "But if it's not, if you have any kind of second thought, then I'm getting you out of this. It's your choice. But whatever you decide, I'm going to fight for what we deserve. You can come with me, if you want. Help me."

Nebula's laughter sounded like sobbing.

"You always had dreams. They're fairytales. They don't come true."

"Maybe they will, maybe they won't, but I still think trying is better than not trying. And I want you with me. I've... I've missed you. I've been so scared and worried."

In anyone else's mouth, such platitudes might sound false. But there was such affection here, Thor could practically feel it. No matter how crabby or harsh or plain mean Nebula was, Gamora still loved her.

Thor almost found himself wishing he had someone like that in his life. Unconditional affection like that.

Nebula was staring at the floor, absently running her fingers along the edges of her scarves.

"He'll come for me," she murmured. "You know that he will."

He? Who was he?

"That will take a long time. He'll despatch his generals first and we are smarter than them."

"And what about Loki? He's sharper than he looks, he'll chase me down."

Gamora looked back over her shoulder at Thor, victory in her face.

"Don't worry about Loki. We have a secret weapon to help deal with him."

Oh.

Oh, right.


	26. Infiltration

"I'm still furious with you, you know," Nebula said as they helped her slowly down the stairs. "You broke a promise to me. Don't expect any trust."

Thor was too concerned with trying to keep his eyes peeled for anyone who might try to stop them to be concerned about that at present. Gamora seemed to have faith in him. That would do.

They must look like they were helping an invalid along the street with the way Nebula was forced to limp and pause for breath. There was no way they were going to get her inside the circus without being seen and then someone would tell Loki, deliberately or not. They ought to have thought this through better.

"You go ahead and make sure Loki is suitably distracted," Gamora said once they were out of the immediate danger of the apartment's local neighbourhood.

"What are you going to do?" Thor asked. "How will you stop word spreading that she's been seen?"

"She won't be seen. I'm just going to do the laundry buggy round and make sure everyone's linens are collected."

The what? Thor was utterly nonplussed, but that wasn't his part of the plan. He didn't need to know. His part was to stroll in and seduce Loki away from paying attention.

Right. Seduction. Right...

Not to be too arrogant, but generally in his experience, Thor didn't have to do a great deal of that. Generally, once he and another man knew they were on the same page, as it were, he found that they often did much of the chasing, if there even was the need for such.

Familiar with the concept, less so with the execution...

He barely raised an eyebrow now as he sauntered into the circus ground. A commonplace sight. Part of the furniture. _Oh, don't worry about him. That's just the local private investigator, probably here to see the magician..._

Was making a beeline for Loki's caravan too obvious? Would much fuss be made of it? He wasn't sure. After all, maybe this was what Loki did; found a new man in every city to call upon him until it was time to move on.

Thor's stomach was jostling with something, though whether nerves or anticipation, he couldn't quite tell.

A sharp rap against the wood. It would be just his luck that Loki wasn't in, wouldn't it?

But no. The latch snapped within and the door opened to reveal him, leaning casually against the door frame, hip cocked just slightly. Maybe even invitingly.

Maybe this seduction would be easier than expected.

"Hello. I wasn't expecting you. Not out walking the streets looking for clues today, then?"

Dignity, Thor. Always dignity.

"No. I thought I might need to... interview you again."

Loki smiled knowingly.

"Really? Has some new evidence come to light?"

"Not particularly. I was just hoping you might help me retread some of our previous discussions. See if you can help me make sure I have it absolutely right."

If he was trying to speak in metaphors, he wasn't entirely sure what they were.

"You'd better come in then."

He'd evidently been experimenting. The work table had a great deal of cloth on it, various thicknesses, a little pincushion holding a wide variety of needles and pins.

"New trick?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Still contrary then. Hopefully he'd like what Thor had to offer though.

"How's Gamora this fine morning?" he asked as Thor took off his coat.

"She seems to be throwing herself into work. Like she wants to be distracted."

"Hmm. And yourself? Your morals? How are they holding up?"

"Well, I was... rather hoping for distraction myself."

It wasn't even a lie, technically.

Loki smiled slyly at him, unfolding the bed and somehow managing to stalk across the remaining space, all two or three feet of it.

"Perhaps a little... sleight of hand might help."

They caught each other by the hips and crashed together, less a kiss and more a clash of teeth and lips, Loki yanking Thor's head to the side by his hair to attack his neck.

Well, that couldn't be allowed to go unchallenged.

Thor ripped at Loki's trousers, reminding himself that his purpose here was to deflect attention, to focus Loki's mind rather, and he knew just the way to do that.

He dropped to his knees without prompting, deliberately biting his lower lip in a way that he knew worked on him, gratified by how Loki looked down at him, pleased and imperious, running a hand through his hair like he was stroking a loyal pet.

Not too obvious. Their previous meeting had been almost aggressive, so he couldn't be too subservient.

He would take his time with this, slowly drawing Loki's cock out and appraising it, squeezing lightly just to hear him gasp before laying a gentle, open-mouthed kiss to the shaft.

It was too romantic a gesture perhaps, but too late now and so he carried on, flicking his tongue lightly and planting kisses at random. This was a lover's move, not... whatever this was and he just had to hope Loki wouldn't question it.

He had just taken the head into his mouth fully when there was a knock at the door.


	27. Resumption

He expected Loki to stop. He did not expect Loki to grip his hair and thrust forward forcing him to hold his dick in his mouth.

So much for romance...

"Who is it?"

"I'm doing the laundry collection," Gamora called. "Do you have any?"

Smart, Thor supposed. Giving herself an alibi. Maybe making sure they weren't enjoying themselves too much into the bargain...

"I'm a little busy as it happens," Loki called back.

"Not even a shirt?"

He groaned and pulled out, pressing a finger to Thor's nose.

"Stay," he whispered, not even bothering to tuck himself away as he snatched up a small basket of tangled collars and underclothes, opening the door a crack and thrusting it out.

"You're welcome," Gamora said as he closed it in her face.

"Right. Where were we?" he asked, rolling his eyes slightly.

"Moving to the bed?" Thor suggested. "Making this a little more mutual?"

"But you look so pretty down there..."

An invitation to fight a little? Thor wasn't sure. But that seemed to have worked last time, for both of them, and so he got to his feet, daring Loki to try to stop him.

He did not. But he braced his feet subtly, prepared for anything Thor might throw at him, for all that they were both obviously far too aroused for this sort of nonsense.

Thor stepped to the right. Loki stepped left. Left. Right.

Thor stepped forward.

Loki pounced.

It wasn't overly difficult to overpower him. A little twist of Thor's hips had him sprawling on the bed, only play fighting as he yanked off his trousers and underwear, tossing them aside.

"You just like being in control," Loki said, slightly breathless.

"So do you."

"Mmm... But the difference is that I actually am."

Thor growled and wished he didn't find that attractive.

At least he knew now that Loki was merely selfish and not a murderer. It made him feel far less guilty about shucking his clothes and climbing onto the bed.

Loki opened his arms in welcome, still in his shirt and looking all the more decadent for it, raking his nails down Thor's back as they rocked together, gasping.

And nice as it was, Thor couldn't help but feel Loki ought to be doing a little more work...

"I thought you were going to show me how good you are with your hands," he murmured almost into Loki's mouth, getting a dark chuckle in return.

"Mmm... Alright. On your side. Look away."

"That hardly seems like magic."

"Well, that's because I haven't begun yet. Roll over."

Fine. Thor tipped himself onto his side and listened for clues. Skin on sheets. Rustling fabric, the shirt being removed perhaps? Sloshing...

The lightest touch made him shiver, a fingertip down his spine. He hadn't even felt the bed dip.

Loki chuckled as he continued his gentle motions, stroking up and down and then moving closer. Thor could feel the warmth of him all along his back.

"Let's see now," he heard, just behind his ear.

He'd slicked his hand and Thor couldn't hold back his moan at the feel of it wrapping around his cock, so different to his own technique. Teasing, almost a caress, gently rubbing his thumb over the head, not nearly enough.

But though Thor was tempted to reach down for it and tighten his grip, he wanted to prove himself, prove that he could withstand such treatment.

"No calls for more?" Loki said quietly. "How patient."

"I'm sure you can still impress me," Thor said, finding his voice steadier than he expected.

"Mm... Part your legs for me a little."

What? Why? And yet he did it anyway, gasping at the heat of Loki's cock as he slid it between his thighs, drenched in oil.

"While you were distracted by my hand, I was preparing something rather different. Now it's simply a case of good behaviour and rewards."

"What do you mean?"

That maddening hand, still distracting him immensely with its lack of actual pressure...

"You'd prefer a firmer grip, I assume. Me too. So tighten up."

Experimentally, Thor squeezed his thighs together, getting a pleased moan from Loki and finally an actual, discernible stroke.

"Just like that. Very good."

This was almost degrading, to be treated like an animal learning a new trick, but he couldn't resist, especially as Loki began to thrust properly, rubbing against him, panting gently in his ear.

His muscles ached and trembled with the effort of clenching, but that just seemed to spur Loki on, faster and faster, his grip slipping a little in a way that Thor wasn't sure was deliberate or not. Didn't matter. Still good.

But not enough. There was intimacy here, of course, but he wanted more, twisting his head back to look over his shoulder, catching sight of Loki's face. His eyes were closed, mouth open, almost like he was wincing with every thrust. But in a good way.

A faint whine escaped Thor's throat, making Loki look at him, smiling when he realised what he wanted.

Kissing was not easy from this angle. Loki surged upwards, doing his best to latch their mouths together, but not managing terribly well. Somehow the lack of finesse made it better for Thor. So primal and rough, nipping at each other, and suddenly he knew he couldn't last, his hips stuttering forward to chase the pleasure of Loki's hand, spilling with a gasp.

He tried to catch his breath as Loki gripped him hard and used his flesh, not even minding it or the light bite Loki treated his shoulder to as he came.

They shouldn't cuddle. This was not a situation for cuddling. But Thor couldn't resist rolling over and scooping Loki into his arms, sweaty and warm and perfect, telling himself this was still part of the distraction.

Loki ran a finger over his lips.

"I really am determined to finish in this mouth before we part for good," he said.

"Maybe you ought to show me how it's done first."

A chuckle and a hum and then Loki was rolling away and getting up.

"Maybe. But for now I have some work to do."

Oh. Oh, so that was that, then. Thor wiped himself off on the sheets and began getting dressed.

"When?" he asked.

A shrug.

"Whenever. Or maybe I'll come to you for once."

That seemed fair. Still, at least such an unceremonious dismissal was helping him with his strange desire for snuggling.

On his way out of the circus, Gamora gave him a knowing nod.

He really hoped she knew what she was doing.


	28. Lying

Thor had had better night's sleep, he couldn't deny it. The plan to hide Nebula under Loki's nose hadn't become any more sensible just because the first part of it seemed to have worked out. He tossed and turned for hours before finally getting some rest.

Perhaps that was why he was dozing late when he became aware of the banging at his door.

Oh, dear.

He didn't worry about his pyjamas overly as he shuffled across the floor and wasn't at all surprised that Loki shoved past him into the room.

"Where is she?"

Play dumb, Thor. Play dumb...

"What? Who?"

Loki growled, opening his wardrobe and rattling around in it, ransacking his bed, ducking down to look under it and leaping up to peer into the alcove it folded away into.

"Nice to see you too," Thor said, yawning. "But would you mind terribly not wearing your shoes if you want to be in my bed?"

A scowl from over Loki's shoulder and then he got off the mattress to get into Thor's face, the very picture of fury.

"I know she's here somewhere."

"Who?"

"Nebula!"

He ducked under Thor's desk and then narrowed his eyes, looking around for any other potential hiding places.

"Nebula's gone?" Thor said innocently, even though he knew Loki would laugh scornfully at him for it.

"Oh, please... You did this. Now tell me where she is."

"I have no idea."

It was almost the truth. He only had the vaguest of ideas. Just that Gamora and Mantis were taking care of her.

Thor sighed and flopped into his chair.

"How long has she been gone?" he asked. "When did you last see her?"

Still with a face like thunder, Loki hopped up onto the desk to sit, leaning back slightly in a way that spoke to Thor's libido and therefore had to be quickly disregarded.

"I saw her yesterday morning. The artist told me today when I arrived to bring her food that she was not there in the evening when he went to do his work. There's a good eight hours during which I have no idea where she was or what she was doing."

That was a long time. In fact, Thor would have had time after being with Loki to go back and rescue her. Which was perhaps what he suspected.

"Maybe she got cold feet," he suggested. "Eight hours is a lot of time for a young lady to run in."

Loki shook his head and rubbed at his eyes and for the first time, Thor realised that he was scared. His sacrifice had escaped from the altar. No wonder, perhaps, that he'd be concerned.

"I don't think so," he said. "She was well convinced. She thought she was doing the right thing. So I think someone must have convinced her otherwise."

Thor shrugged.

"Well, she's not here."

He was used to being suspicious. He was not used to suspicion being thrown at him.

And even less used to them being right...

"Could she be in the circus?" Thor asked, hoping to muddy the waters by suggesting it and glad to see Loki shake his head.

"I give the foundlings money or little toys to keep an eye on things for me. They would not have missed her. Gamora went out. A few hours later, you came to see me. She returned about five minutes after you did, in some distress, and did the laundry. So far so usual. But still... You are the only person who knew where Nebula was."

True. That was fairly damning evidence and it must have showed in his face, for Loki sat up a little, terribly serious suddenly.

"It's not very nice to be the sole suspect, is it?" he asked.

And both of them guilty as sin, Thor mused, covering it with a shrug.

"Well, I've not been near her and I doubt I could convince her of anything even if I had. She didn't exactly take to me, in case you didn't notice. And if she's not here and she's not in the circus, then either she's run away or..."

He tried not to be too pleased by Loki's reaction, practically jumping at another explanation.

"Or?"

"How much do you trust your artist? I hate to say it, but he knew where she was, knew she was alone, saw her... in an intimate capacity. Might he have done something to her and then tried to cover it up?"

Had that landed? Loki didn't seem convinced.

"He's an old man," he said uncertainly. "And she is a wildcat. If he tried anything, she would be able to fight him off."

"Unless she was in a drunken stupor at the time."

Pursed lips, a frown, maybe thinking it over? It was possible, wasn't it?

But then again, the way he was looking at Thor with annoyance and borderline disdain didn't exactly bode well.

"I don't trust you all of a sudden, Thor Odinson," he said. "So you will accompany me as I make my inquiries."

Thor scoffed.

"I will, will I? And I suppose you plan to pay me for my time?"

"Of course not. Gamora's paying you. Now get dressed. We have a visit to make."

There didn't seem much point in arguing with him. Besides, this probably counted as distraction. Every moment he was with Thor chasing shadows on the streets was another moment that Nebula was undiscovered.

And if he deliberately put on a little show while getting out of his pyjamas and into his clothes?

Well, he was just sweetening the deal.


	29. The Artist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *arrives late enough that people were genuinely concerned but pretends to be on time*

Volstagg had prepared for the worst, Thor realised as they went downstairs. Loki must have been highly agitated for him to have the razors out on display, just in case he needed to spring to his family's defence.

Not that he could ever do more than threaten. At least Thor didn't think so. Then again, it was always the nice ones you had to watch for.

"You going to be home for dinner, lad?" he asked, pointedly snapping his sharpening belt.

"I might be a bit late," Thor said, ushering Loki out. "But I'm sure I'll see you before you close up."

He honestly thought he was being subtle, making it obvious Thor had someone looking after him, looking out for him. Quite what he thought he'd do, Thor didn't know.

And now Loki had an odd look in his eye, like he was wondering if Volstagg and his wife were in on it, wondering if Thor could have convinced them to take Nebula in.

"They have four children and two rooms," Thor said as soon as they were outside. "They wouldn't have space for another even if they wanted to."

He wasn't mentioning the cellar with its little distillery, of course, but no one would want to live down there even temporarily. Young Hilde still swore there were ghosts or monsters hiding in the shadows, and having helped with a bit of heavy lifting from time to time, he could tell why she thought so.

"I might pay them a little visit later anyway," Loki said. "Nebula was terribly good at squeezing into tight spaces after all."

"Your funeral."

Loki sighed, taking a sudden side street.

"In case you hadn't noticed, that's what I'm trying to avoid."

Exaggeration? Perhaps. Loki was a showman after all. He might well say things that were not strictly true.

Even the sight of the artist's home made Thor's skin crawl. What was it about it? It was not dirty or damaged. Not mouldy. Nothing out of place at all, in fact.

Maybe that was just it. Even the most house-proud family could not keep a certain degree of lived-in grime building up over time. But this house... It felt like a relic, like no one had lived there for decades, and yet there was not so much as a cobweb or a speck of dust in the windows.

Inside was much the same as they stepped through the unlocked door - and someone keeping a woman hostage was unlikely to have such a lack of security - a sense of someone pretending to live, setting out furniture in an attempt to imitate humanity.

Until they entered the kitchen...

Thor had smelled some things in his time, but this was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. A horrible vinegar stench blended with honey sweetness in a combination that made him almost retch.

"What the hell is that?" he muttered, trying to cover his nose and mouth with his sleeve.

"Pigments," Loki said, muffled behind a handkerchief. "They need to be boiled to the right consistency."

It was foul, even if it did only seem to permate one room. Thor couldn't imagine being in such an environment even briefly and was shocked when Loki drew back a curtain to reveal a tiny box bed almost built into the wall.

Thor had heard elderly people described as decrepit before, but he had never fully understood until now. The man - if it was a man - had a face like the most detailed map, lines squiggling all over it, and with his eyes closed, Thor struggled to even make out his features.

Pale blue eyes creaked open, a sigh like air escaping a crypt reaching Thor's ears and then movement as steady as the tide.

"You've found her?" he asked in a voice that was not so much gravelly as positively craggy.

"No," Loki said. "But my associate pointed out that you might have been moved to... cause her some mischief."

A laugh that seemed to gurgle upwards, like something awful moving at the bottom of a stagnant pond.

"You think I could overpower a woman like that? Where is this associate? Bring him to me."

Thor obeyed Loki's nudge and stepped closer, barely managing not to flinch when his arm was grabbed and his sleeve shoved up.

"Hmm... Nice skin. It'd take ink well, if not for the hair."

He would not recoil. He would resist the urge.

"Where is she?" he asked, knowing there was no answer to come.

"Not here. And I could hardly have moved a body by myself. These old bones are not what they once were."

In any other circumstance, it might be fun to see Loki struggle with the very same puzzle Thor had.

As it was, he felt he was seconds away from being found out.


	30. Lunch

The artist complained about the potential risk that he wouldn't be paid for the work already done on Nebula and Thor felt his heart sink a little. That really didn't sound like someone who had done anything to their meal ticket.

Loki testily assured him that he was _going to find her_ and _not to worry_ and then jerked his head at Thor to usher him out of the building.

Not before time as far as Thor's olfactory senses were concerned. But that meant he needed something new to get Loki off the scent.

"What happens if you don't find her?" he asked.

Loki scoffed at him.

"I'll find her."

"But what if you don't?"

A heavy sigh.

"Well... She was supposed to be picked up in a couple of weeks, finished and healed. A man is coming to collect her and take her to her new people. And if she is not there, I... I suppose I will have some explaining to do."

He was being flippant, but Thor was only hearing fear. Hadn't Gamora said something about generals?

Like an army. What sort of entertainment troupe set itself up as an army?

The same kind that recruited child soldiers perhaps...

Thor's stomach rumbled. No breakfast. Loki had woken him up.

"As a professional investigator," Thor said carefully. "I think we should eat something. Helps you work things out."

"Are you buying?"

He shouldn't. He had rent to pay. But maybe he'd get lucky with a little simple infidelity case to tide him over, or maybe Hilde would make too much stew somehow and save him the cost of a dinner or two.

"If you like. I can't promise not to ask you a few things though."

"I won't promise not to lie then."

Thor honestly wouldn't put it past him, but it was worth a try all the same as he took Loki to one of the cheaper coffee houses he knew on the way back towards the circus. There would be sausages or cheese or at the least some soup to give them something to line their bellies.

At least waiting for it to be poured gave him some time to think about how he was going to word his questions. He wanted to know how Loki had ended up in the circus. Whether he was a foundling too, like Nebula and Gamora. But he doubted asking that outright would get him anywhere.

"What made you interested in magic?" he asked. Neutral. Nothing too obvious, hopefully.

"I like being smarter than other people," Loki said. "I like seeing them confused and wondering. I like tricking people. As a child, I did card tricks on the street, read fortunes, that kind of thing."

So he had not been trained from scratch? Interesting.

"Wasn't that dangerous? Some people don't take lightly to being swindled."

"It wasn't cheating at poker or anything like that. It was just guessing cards, pulling the right one from the deck, that kind of thing. Deep down, people like to be tricked. They like to be amazed. Just on occasion, they like to believe in magic. A little brightness in dull lives."

He could imagine it. A younger Loki, thin but impish, producing aces from thin air. A ragtag scamp.

"So when did you run away with the circus?"

A dark chuckle as Loki stirred his broth, a rich mix of barley and some kind of green vegetable, maybe a little over-salted but still fine.

"That's a different story."

"Can I hear it?"

The look Loki gave him was almost unreadable. Calculating perhaps. A guarded uncertainty. It was bad then, whatever it was.

"You're the detective," he said. "Why don't you speculate?"

Fine. If that was how he wanted to play.

"Well... There are two possibilities jumping out at me. One distinctly nicer than the other."

"Go on, tell me the nice one."

"A young man, a boy, would find excitement in the travelling life. A chance to see the world, or at least the country."

"And the less nice one?"

Thor met his gaze across the little table they were squeezed around.

"That you were running from something. Whether something you did or... or something done to you, I don't know."

Loki gave him a half smile, sucking on the end of his spoon.

"One of your theories is correct," he said.

Thor sighed a little internally.

"Are you going to tell me which one?"

"Are you going to tell me where Nebula is?"

"I can't. I don't know."

A full smile now.

"Then I suppose you won't know the truth on this matter either."

That hardly seemed fair, but Thor couldn't bring himself to fight just yet. Not when he thought he saw a little vulnerability in Loki's eyes.


	31. An Unexpected Role

There was so much more Thor wanted to ask. About those scars on Loki's shoulders and back, about what would happen if he didn't find Nebula before people came looking.

A week or two was a long time. There was a lot of opportunity for her to be seen, for Loki to become suspicious, even for Mantis to accidentally seem like she was hiding something. She hadn't exactly been good at concealing the fact she had a secret, after all.

They made their way back towards the circus and Thor weighed up his options. He really wanted to talk to Gamora and find out what her plan was, if she even had one, but that would mean getting away from Loki.

And it turned out that he had no intention of allowing that to happen. He grabbed Thor's wrist when he made noises about going home with a real sense of urgency.

"Uh-uh. I'm not letting you out of my sight for even a moment."

Thor did his best to look amused, looking pointedly at where his fingers were digging into his flesh.

"You'll have to at some point. What if I run away during the show while you're performing? What are you going to do, tie me up?"

Loki's eyes narrowed.

"No," he said thoughtfully. "You'll just have to perform with me."

At first Thor thought he had misheard. And then he couldn't hold back his laughter.

"Are you joking? Mantis is half my size! I won't fit in the costume."

Loki huffed at him.

"I'm sure I'll find you something suitable to wear. I'd rather have you in a box on stage than alone in my caravan is all. I know how you detectives are, you can pick locks anywhere."

Well, letting Loki teach him to be a glamorous assistant would certainly take up some time. And besides, it might be fun. Hadn't every child at some point imagined running away with the circus?

"Does this mean I'll get to learn the famous secrets?" he asked.

"Some of them. They're strictly need-to-know. And safe to say that if you reveal them, I will set the Magician Society on you."

"Ooh, I'm terrified..."

Loki wasn't in a mood to joke, it seemed, leading Thor across the circus grounds, almost making him genuinely frightened as he approached Mantis's caravan and hammered on the door.

She opened it a crack and peered out, nostrils flared in fear.

"I don't need you tonight," Loki barked. "I have other things to deal with."

Thor tried to give her a reassuring smile as he was dragged away. That had been so close, too close... But Loki didn't know. He was so certain in his convictions that the idea of Nebula being here hadn't even entered his head.

Still, vigilance had to be constant.

How long had he wanted to get a proper look at this box? And now Loki was showing him all its secrets, training him to brace himself between the sides of it and reach down to activate the trap door and lower himself through the gap. It was a bit of a squeeze, but nothing to worry about. He wasn't going to get stuck.

That was the biggest trick. The rest of it was mostly going to be Loki. Thor's role, as far as he could tell, was to try to distract the crowd as best he could.

"Flirt with them," Loki said. "You're good at that."

If Thor stammered a little, it was only because he wanted to say he wasn't used to doing it en masse, as it were.

He learned to palm cards, to force the right one to be drawn. He learned that rabbits were the animal of choice as they were generally silent. He watched as Loki checked a whole cat's cradle of fishing wires that would make things apparently vanish at will up his sleeves and into pockets.

It was genuinely fascinating. Thor wanted to express how impressed he was, but the words didn't seem to come out.

"Right," Loki said, stretching his fingers. "We'll get some food and then get you dressed."

Thor wasn't sure if he was excited or concerned by that idea.


	32. Costume

Food was a communal affair, or at least collecting it was. Thor was perhaps more surprised to see Mantis stirring one of the large stew pots than he ought to have been. She had to be doing something to justify her place among the caravans. Maybe this had been her job before Loki enlisted her help in spiriting Nebula away.

And being in charge of the food might be an excellent ruse for taking a little bit extra away for someone who was not officially here...

She didn't take kindly to Thor winking at her though. Or maybe the scowl she threw at him was just an act. He couldn't be sure.

"We are not a soup kitchen," she said. "No guests."

"He is my temporary assistant," Loki said, as though talking to a small child. "There's always too much anyway. Note it down to come out of my wages if you're that worried."

She served them with perhaps a little more aggression than was strictly necessary and maybe that was what drove Loki to suggest that they eat in private. Thor merely shrugged. He hadn't seen Gamora and hoped that meant all was well.

It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to sit in Loki's caravan what with his single stool, or to find enough space to be comfortable so in the end they ended up sitting on the floor. There was a sort of pleasant rusticness in it and for the first time Thor felt he could really understand the appeal of this life.

"Is that how it works then?" he asked through a mouthful of what he hoped was beef. "You get paid mainly in food?"

"Food and board," Loki agreed. "Plus a modest wage for clothes, alcohol, equipment in my case. Luxuries, you know."

"Do you ever get to see the accounts?"

"Why would I need to?"

"To make sure you're paid fairly."

Loki chuckled, drinking the last of the sauce from his bowl.

"That's not really how it works," he said, getting up. "Now, let's see what we can find around here for you to wear."

Conversation over, it seemed. Thor took his time finishing his meal while eyeing some of the items Loki pulled out of his trunk. Some of them looked distinctly uncomfortable.

He was a little relieved when Loki seemed to settle on a simple open-necked shirt, deep green in shade, like the vanishing box.

"Did you dye that?" he asked.

"Yes, as it happens. I do a bit of extra costume work from time to time. It's relaxing. Anyway, try this on. It will be tight, but I think I like tight."

It was lower cut than it first appeared and Thor felt he bulged in an ungainly manner once in it, unable to do up the cross ties at the neck. Below his chest, the remaining fabric hung like a tent.

Loki appraised him, mouth twisted.

"Well, I like this," he said, placing his hands on the twin mounds threatening to spill out from the top and thumbing over Thor's nipples. "But your waist is too good a feature to hide. Let me think..."

Thor was resolutely not blushing at just how easily his body had responded to being touched in that way and he even managed a frown when Loki turned, holding a thick belt.

"I'm already wearing one."

"Yes, but that's for practicality. This is for appearance."

Very well. He allowed the shirt to be cinched in, feeling a little like a doll being dressed up.

And it seemed Loki wasn't done with him yet for what followed was nothing short of torture.

"Ow!"

"Well, stop moving."

"How can I not move when you're poking around my eye? Ow!"

"Don't be such a baby. It's just to make your eyes look better."

"Is that really necessary?"

"Yes! I do try to have standards, even if my choices are limited."

At least the finished result was... suitably nice. Worth the pain? Perhaps not. Or maybe he'd just have to learn to do it himself.

Still, a simple line of kohl did so much... Were his eyes really that blue? He'd not really noticed before.

Loki took down his hair. Put it up again. Took it down. Up, down. Crunched some tousles into it. And finally, it seemed, he was ready.

Thor was a little surprised by how nervous he was as Loki powdered his own face and slipped a trapeze worth of wires under his clothes. He had never performed anything in front of people before. Let alone been the lynchpin of a big finale.

"Once we're out there, just do as I say," Loki said. "You'll pick it up. And who knows? If you do well, I might see fit to reward you."

As they walked towards the big top, Thor had almost forgotten that he was supposed to be here under duress and that out there in the maze of caravans was a young woman relying on him to keep her safe.

He hoped Nebula was feeling better. That she didn't resent him for his part in the uncertainty that was now plaguing them.

In the meantime... the bright lights were calling.


	33. The Show

It was very different to enter the tent once it was already full. The music was distant and almost haunting, the backstage area a flurry of activity, coiling ropes, moving equipment, stilling animals, the whole thing like a very complex factory. But they made entertainment here.

And there was a lot of sitting around. Waiting. Waiting some more. Worrying that his eye makeup would run in the humid air, the breath of hundreds of people heating the whole place up.

He could hear them. The gasps, the laughter. The sound of people having a good time.

And then closer still, the sound of hoofbeats. Gamora performing. Hopefully taking a moment not to think, to focus purely on something physical, on balance and skill.

That's what he'd want to do, if he was her.

"Remember to smile," Loki said softly as various helpers carried the box into place. "And do as I say."

It wasn't even worth trying to throw a quip back at him.

They strode out together and Thor tried to be subtle in glancing at Gamora. Did she see him? He couldn't really see her face in the second before she had vanished and he had to turn his attention to the crowd politely applauding their arrival.

There were subtle differences between Loki himself and Loki the showman. But most of it was in the smiles. He was welcoming these people into his jokes and games, inviting them to be amazed and enthralled.

"I have a very special assistant with me tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Don't be afraid, he's really quite tame. Watch out, though. He sometimes bites when startled."

What was this? Portraying him as some kind of wild man? Still, he'd agreed to play along and so bared his teeth to the crowd, rather gratified to see the way a few bright eyes looked upon him. They liked him. More than that, they desired him.

And that was fun.

He assisted. He demonstrated that everything was ordinary, even when it wasn't. He flexed his arms if anyone looked to be eyeing Loki's hands too closely. It felt as though no time passed at all before Loki pointed to a young woman in the front row to help with the final trick.

She squealed delightedly when Thor lifted her over the barrier and took her hand to take her up onto the stage and he sincerely hoped she wasn't about to be in trouble with a father or finacé for blushing and batting her lashes.

And if he was distracting her a little from investigating the wood too closely, well... That was all part of the act, wasn't it?

On cue, he got into the box. Outside, he could hear Loki giving his spiel. Always the same length, apparently. Carefully timed.

Alright, kneel down, brace shoulder here, legs up there, reach down and...

And...

Oh, no...

He hadn't done it with the box closed before and it was dark and now he couldn't find the...

A light underneath, shining out of the tiny gap. Thank you, stage hand! A little flick of his pinkie was all it took to drop the trapdoor and let him safely lower himself through the floor.

It had seemed so much easier a few hours earlier and his heart was hammering as he pushed the trapdoor back into place and slid the hook across. Done. And above, he heard a gasp and then more applause.

"He's making good use of you, then?" Gamora said beside him, holding the lamp which had aided him.

"He's suspicious," Thor whispered. "Doesn't want me out of his sight."

She nodded, frowning slightly.

"Alright. Keep him busy. I'm trying to recruit others to the cause, as it were."

"I can... I can take him home with me, if that would help. Get him out of the way."

He hoped his blush wasn't too visible.

"It certainly wouldn't hurt. I'll leave you here in the dark, if that's alright. And, of course, we never spoke."

The smell of lamp smoke seemed to circle him as he obediently sat beneath the stage and waited for Loki. This would be the obvious moment to run away, lead him on a chase, but, well, what was the point? It was much better to take Loki back to his office and keep him... occupied for the night.

Which, of course, meant convincing him first that that was a good idea.

"Not going anywhere?" Loki asked, silhouetted against the exit.

"Well, I need to hear my reviews, don't I?"

A little laugh. Almost held back. Breathy. Not quite as poised as Loki normally was.

"I'll be honest, I've had worse assistants," he said. "Come on, bed time."

Nice as that sounded...

"My neighbours will call the police if I don't get back," Thor said.

"And? We're honest people. Mostly. You can simply explain."

"Well, just I doubt your colleagues would appreciate the intrusion, especially in the small hours."

He'd come into the light, or what passed for light back here, and could see Loki narrowing his eyes.

"Come back with me?" Thor suggested. "My bed's not bad. And I have running water for the morning. You won't even have to move."

Loki's sigh was heavy, theatrical.

"If you insist," he said. "But I need to pick up a couple of things from my caravan first."

Sugar for coffee. And oil for...

Well. Thor guessed he'd find out.


	34. Going Home

Poor Volstagg. This couldn't be good for his heart. He had obviously been concerned all day and now seeing Thor come back still with the suspicious man from earlier? He didn't have to say anything, his face conveyed his feelings perfectly.

"Does that man ever sleep?" Loki grumbled as they climbed the stairs.

"Not when he's worried, no."

It had been years since Thor had brought someone home for the night. He'd had his dalliances and his longer term things but, well, men did not share rooms. There was talk. A drunken evening on a friend's couch was one thing and a good explanation, but alas, some of his partners had had families to go home to. There was only so much that even the most dutiful wife could be expected to bear.

Volstagg and Hilde knew of Thor's proclivities, of course. At least he thought they did. It was probably why they had no fear of letting Young Hilde make eyes at him. Even if her age was not an issue, he wasn't interested for other reasons too.

Thor closed his little door curtain as Loki leisurely laid his coat across the back of the guest chair.

"So..." he said. "How were you imagining this night going?"

Thor sighed, but in an amused way.

"Is that what you always ask at this point?"

"I find it saves time. Makes certain we're not at cross-purposes. I'd hate for anyone to be disappointed. Or surprised."

"Well, fine, I just prefer things a little more spontaneous, that's all."

Loki gave him a look that suggested spontaneity was clearly the preserve of fools and therefore to be pitied.

"I'm sorry, I was unaware you were expecting genuine passion rather than an agreement to work towards mutual enjoyment."

"Such romance..." Thor said, loosening his shirt and taking off his belt, aiming for casual. "I have no concrete ideas. What were you thinking?"

A smile, but under the powder, he was visibly tired. Something gentle, perhaps. An easing into the night.

"Well, I was thinking it might be fun to switch our positions from our first time properly."

Despite himself, Thor was startled. He hadn't expected that. And Loki's face did not so much fall as change, a subtle shift.

"You don't partake?" he asked.

"I... I have been known to. It has merely been a long day. I thought you might prefer something less vigorous."

"Aw. Are you worried I'll be rough with you?"

This was bait and Thor knew it. He was being played and he knew it.

He was going to let it happen and he knew it, watching as Loki came towards him, a tiny sigh slipping from his lips as he tucked an errant lock of hair behind his ear.

"I'll be very gentle. I promise."

Thor succumbed, leaning forward to still Loki's lips. He knew what this really was. Loki wanted to forget. He wanted to be distracted. And conveniently, that's what Thor wanted too as they began the clumsy progress of shedding buttons to be free of clothing.

His fingers slid beneath Loki's shirt, gravitating to the smooth lines that emanated from his shoulders. What were these welts? Where had they come from? Were they a relic from his time on the streets playing card tricks, or from some other time?

Previous to that? The work of a cruel parent or sibling? Or could they be later? Could they be the reason he feared his master so much?

Loki evidently did not care for his interest for Thor soon found himself pushed face first onto his bed, the weight of Loki not holding him down as such, but heavy enough that he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Not that he wanted to. Not with the shivers of neck kisses and trailing fingertips to distract him.

He was breathing decidedly heavily when Loki moved from him, kneeling between his legs and letting his fingers stray between his cheeks.

The moan was out before he registered it, getting a pleased hum from Loki.

"I bet hardly anyone does this for you," he said. "What a shame."

Even dry, it was intoxicating. The teasing, the anticipation. And when there was a sloshing sound and Loki finally tried to press inside...

"Ah!" Thor cried. "Oh, God."

"Was that good or bad?"

"Both... Just one, let me get used to it."

It had been a while.

"Don't worry. I want you soft and ready."

"I don't think I'm going to be soft for a while..."

Especially not with the way Loki was rubbing at him with tiny but unceasing movements.

"You should see yourself," Loki murmured. "Almost trembling. How long have you waited for this?"

Too long. Far too long. He'd forgotten how good it felt.

After what was probably a frustratingly lengthy wait for Loki, Thor was asking for a second and eventually a third finger, gasping into his pillow, rocking his hips helplessly, trying to get more.

"I think you're ready," Loki said softly before practically slithering up his body.

Thor was too sensation drunk to object to Loki moving him, pulling him onto his side, his upper leg bent at the knee to leave him practically on display as he felt the heat of Loki's body behind him and then the unmistakable sensation of him lining up, about to push inside.

"Ready?"

"Stop teasing..."


	35. Something Strange

"Ah!"

There was little preamble. Loki slid his hips forward in an unrelenting motion, burying himself deep right away, his breathing thick and heavy in Thor's ear.

And then nothing. He merely stayed like that for several moments, grip firm on Thor's hip. Getting used to the sensation? Waiting for confirmation that he could move?

Experimentally, Thor rocked back, pushing, getting a gasp. And then Loki began to move, very gently as promised, but steady and relentless.

Thor felt like he was floating. Like he was in a boat, cresting wave after wave, his word shrinking down to just Loki's presence within and without him, reaching back to grip that hand whose fingers dug into his flesh so deeply.

Despite Loki's words, it couldn't be less like their first time together. There was something here outside of them. Like they were dreaming of being somewhere else. Another time, another place.

Another person? He wasn't so sure about that.

The sound of their breathing seemed to echo, reverberating back on itself, no loud cries now even as Thor reached for his cock, knowing he had to either spill or stay like this forever.

Tempting though that idea was...

He hadn't known Loki was close until the rhythm changed, more jerky, nails almost catching him and then a choked little cry as he shoved deep.

The spell broke. Or part of it did.

Thor opened his eyes - when had he closed them? He couldn't recall - and finished himself off with steady, practised strokes.

Loki's hand finally moved from his hip, sliding up his body, settling somewhere around his chest. No doubt his heartbeat was palpable through his skin.

He didn't want to speak. Speaking would mean acknowledging something and what exactly, Thor wasn't prepared to guess. He watched the shadows of clouds in the moonlight pass across the wall, chasing each other, his lungs slowly filling and emptying.

He felt aware of everything. The sensation of the blankets beneath him, the cotton pillowcase, the heat of Loki, his own breath, the steady pulse of his blood. A moment of stillness, waiting for sleep to come.

But that was scratching at the door, distinctly so.

Moving told him two things; firstly that Loki had fallen asleep, his arm flopping limply onto the bed with a little grunt.

The second was that he had never actually withdrawn. Planning to sleep like that? It seemed impractical, but Thor couldn't deny the idea appealed to some part of him. Shame.

Lucky he pulled on his pyjama trousers however as it turned out to be Volstagg at the door, beckoning him onto the stairs and speaking in a low voice.

"I couldn't sleep for worry," he said. "You're not in any trouble, are you, lad?"

"I... Well, a little, probably, but it's nothing I can't handle. And I'd hate for you to get caught up in it. Just carry on as normal. It will all work out."

Volstagg did not like that, evidently, but he nodded.

"Are you needing your sheets washed? Hilde's doing ours tomorrow anyway if you want to bring them down."

Thor hoped his blush wasn't visible in the gloom.

"No, that's alright," he said. "I'll do them myself."

"Good, good. Well, good night. Oh, and wash your face. Your... eye paint has run a little."

Yes, definitely red-faced now.

When he got back into bed, pulling the blankets over them both, Loki snuggled into his back.

Thor wondered who he had last cuddled, to want it so instinctively.

And wondered what it said about him that he cuddled back.


	36. Quiet Moments

When had someone else last woken in Thor's bed? He couldn't remember.

And Loki woke before him, touching him with gentle trailing fingers until he opened his eyes.

"Have you a tub?" he murmured. "I was promised running water. It's been a while."

"Mmm... Hang on."

It was not the biggest bath in the world, enough to sit in but only with knees bent. Still, Loki seemed very happy with it, lounging back as Thor filled pan after pan with water to boil and grated soap into it to create something that could almost be called a lather.

And an idea came back to him suddenly. Something he had wanted.

"I could wash your hair," he said, like he could take or leave it. "If you like."

Loki looked at him curiously and shrugged, twirling a lock of it around his finger.

"I suppose it could do with a proper clean. I have a terrible habit of just wetting it and leaving well alone."

"Well, it's not a problem."

He deliberately didn't look as Loki made his way across the two feet of floor towards the tub, busying himself in finding a spare towel and a large bowl, trying to ignore the faint splashes and sounds of satisfaction behind him as he heated a little more water to merely warm rather than hot.

And then he turned.

Loki was sitting back in the bath, his legs curled round like a mermaid's tail, eyes closed as he rubbed a little at his skin.

"If you tip your head forward..."

He let Thor move him, angled over the rest of the water to have his hair wet into long, smooth ropes, and then back to let Thor work suds into it.

It was difficult. His soap was cheap and hard, needed heavy scrubbing against his hands before frothing up enough to be of use.

But the way Loki sighed as he got to work... He would gladly have struggled with the most pitiful of detergents for that little sigh.

He'd been right. There was something wonderful and peaceful about washing Loki's hair. The length of it, the thickness in his hands, the sound of a thousand tiny bubbles bursting beneath his fingertips from the tips right up to the roots, massaging the skin there.

He could just see the slope of Loki's forehead, damp and clear of make up now, his lashes dark against his cheek, his nose and then... Well, then nothing much until his chest due to the angle, but he liked the idea of those lips just parted slightly, relaxed and calm.

How strange to be sharing this with a man he did not trust and whose trust he was in turn violating.

Evidently similar thoughts were entering Loki's head too.

"Why are you doing this?" he murmured.

"Hmm?"

"You're being very close with me. I've noticed it before. You behave as though this means something. Even though you know it doesn't."

"It doesn't," Thor agreed. "But I like it all the same."

"Oh, I see. You're lonely enough to crave even the ghost of intimacy? A pale imitation of it."

"Something like that, maybe."

He hummed lightly and let Thor finish, obediently moving to have his hair rinsed and brushed into smoothness.

He put on one of Thor's shirts after scrubbing himself down with the towel, huge on his slighter frame, and sat by the stove to finish getting dry while Thor took his turn in the slightly murky lukewarm water.

"What's your plan then?" he asked as he rinsed off. "Follow me around while Nebula gets further and further away? She's not here and I evidently haven't fed her."

He wasn't expecting the silence. Nor the hint of tearfulness in Loki's face when he looked at him, his hair springing into gentle waves.

"Loki?"

"Will you hide me when they come?"

Well, he hadn't quite been expecting that.

"When who comes?"

A shaky sigh.

"He'll know that she's gone by now. I'm not the only one with spies."

It had only been two days. Surely that was not enough time. But then again, for one fearsome and determined...

Thor found himself hesitating. This was the perfect opportunity to tell Loki the truth. To let him know that things were going to change and be better, that Gamora was leading the fight back.

But what if this was a trick? What if Loki was trying to make him show his hand? Trying to make him give himself away? He couldn't risk it. He really couldn't.

"What makes you think I would?" he asked, carefully looking away.

"Well, you... For some reason, you seem to like me."

Oh, the guilt. The horrible stabbing guilt. But Thor knew he couldn't waver. This was Nebula's life and he couldn't risk that.

But that didn't mean he had to throw Loki to the wolves either...

"Yes," he heard himself saying. "I would hide you if you were in danger. And I guess that means I must like you."

He heard the sniff, the sense of bravery in his voice. Forced bravery.

"It will be soon. I'm sorry."

Thor tried his best not to worry about what exactly he meant by that.


	37. Out of Options

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I will get to yesterday's comments later, just quite busy today. I really appreciate them!

Maybe it was Thor's imagination, but there seemed to be a sort of nervous energy in the circus when they returned. People had a sense of purpose, discussions seemed animated, though they seemed to go quiet as the passed.

"Not wanting strangers to overhear," he suggested, hoping Loki would be satisfied with that explanation.

He didn't much seem to care. He collected his laundry, his items marked with a small embroidered X in deep green. Ingenious really, though with so many people, Thor wondered how they remembered whose symbol was whose. Perhaps they had some kind of key written down somewhere.

And then a child arrived. Shy, nervous. Looking at Thor, unsure what to make of him.

"There's a visitor coming," she said softly.

"What visitor?" Loki asked.

"Don't know."

"When?"

"Don't know."

"Alright, then who says they're coming?"

"Everyone."

Loki nodded testily and gave her a penny for her trouble, sighing heavily.

"Does that tell you anything of actual use?" Thor asked.

"It narrows things down, certainly. Not everyone who works with the circus performs. Some of the more valuable display items have minders. So, since it can only be people within travelling distance... Could be Taneleer, or could be Ronan. I'd say the latter is more likely. He's more... physical."

Well, that could mean a couple of different things.

"Physical as in violent or as in...?"

Loki spun on his heels outside his caravan.

"As in what?"

No point in beating about the bush, as it were.

"Sex."

Briefly raised eyebrows, like Loki was impressed or at least not unimpressed.

"I tried it on with him once or twice, wanting something a little rough. But why would you care?"

He turned again, finding his key to unlock his door, giving Thor a little time to compose himself.

"I don't care. I just wondered if you'd be able to sweet talk your way out of whatever you're afraid of."

His wording was offensive, evidently. Or at least Loki was not keen on the future as it loomed before them.

"What's going to happen?" Thor pressed. "What will he do when he arrives? Is he going to tell Gamora what really happened to Nebula, for instance?"

"I don't know," Loki snapped, closing the door behind them. "I honestly have no idea. Make yourself useful and fold these."

He flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling while Thor carefully sorted out his laundry and waited. Waited for an idea, a response, anything.

And he worried about Nebula. If a violent man - and though Loki had not confirmed that, it was fairly obvious all the same - was coming to hunt for her, hiding with Mantis might not be sustainable.

What did Gamora plan to do? Were they all going to converge on his office to hide? Or had she already begun to mobilise the circus to resist? And how? An ambush?

They were going to be besieged.

He really needed to talk to her, but Loki wouldn't allow that. Which meant he'd have to give him the slip. Which he couldn't do.

This was such a mess. Couldn't tell Loki the truth. Couldn't talk to his fellow schemers. He was trapped and out of the loop and that did not sit well with him.

"Do these go in the trunk?" he asked.

Loki didn't move. Didn't speak. Thor dutifully put the clothes away as best he could and moved to join him on the bed, struck by a strange desire to comfort him.

"You've got a day or two, right?" he asked. "So why not just run away?"

Loki sighed and let himself be held, pulled close.

"I can't. I don't expect you to understand. I can't leave."

"Why not? Start a new life. You're intelligent, resourceful..."

"Stop. I can't. I don't have that freedom."

"Why not?"

A heavy sigh, one that made Thor instinctively hold him closer.

"What do they have over you? Surely it can't be so bad? Card tricks and thefts, it's nothing, it's..."

"Stop. Please, stop."

There was something here. He was close to it, so close.

"Maybe I can help you," he said softly. "That's what I do. Or try to anyway. But you need to tell me what you're running from. What gave you the marks on your back?"

At first he didn't hear what Loki was saying. It was so quiet, so held back.

"I was never a street child. I lied."

"Then who were you?"

Loki sighed heavily and hid his face in Thor's chest.


	38. Loki's Story

"I'm not surprised you don't know the tale," Loki said. "It was a long time ago. The press found other things to talk about."

Thor barely breathed. He'd been waiting so long for the truth.

Then again, Loki had lied to him before. This could be a lie too. He seemed to be a fairly good actor. And Thor knew he wanted to believe and so was very easy to lie to.

"I didn't bother changing my name. Or rather it's my mother's name, but still mine. I don't know if... If they know it's me. Or maybe they think I'm dead. But the truth is that once upon a time, I was rich. Properly rich, old money. But that doesn't mean life was perfect."

Thor knew he'd had a privileged childhood. Not monetarily, although they had never struggled the way he saw others had, but emotionally. Parents who tried their best, who loved and encouraged him. Not everyone was so lucky. He felt their loss keenly.

"Why do you think I have a mining lamp?" Loki said. "We owned them. We owned mines."

Thor was a city boy, always had been, and while he knew coal had to come from somewhere, he only had a vague idea of underground caverns and pickaxes and long, arduous.

"You were the landowner?"

"Landowner's son, yes. And grandson. And great-grandson and so on. But I wasn't right. I wasn't... what my father expected in an heir."

Asking what he meant specifically seemed rude. Thor was curious, but he didn't want to press, simply waiting politely for Loki to continue. Which took a little thought. A little time.

"I wasn't the healthiest of children, for a start. And he... rejected that. I think he was frightened. I was some sickly, dangerous thing, bringing fever and flu into the house. He used to say I was a changeling. And sometimes that my mother must have... fucked someone else, as he so delicately put it."

The way he said it was almost violent. The anger raw. Thor rubbed his back in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

"It wasn't so bad. He was neglectful rather than actively cruel. But I'd do anything for attention. From anyone. I didn't care if I was making a fool of myself as long as someone was looking, as long as someone cared, even fleetingly. Born showman, I suppose."

A few moments of silence.

"What happened?" Thor asked, even though he'd told himself he wouldn't.

A strange sound, somewhere between a sigh and a sob.

"I was a fool, that's what happened. Seventeen and stupid. Like everyone, I suppose. Just with worse consequences."

Had he injured someone? Killed them? That was surely the worst case scenario, wasn't it?

"I had to run away," Loki said. "I couldn't go back, not after what I did..."

"What did you do?"

A heavy sigh.

"I wanted to prove myself. Not to my father, that was pointless but... But there was a boy. Or a man, rather. He was a little bit older than me I think. It was hard to tell."

Ah... There was always a lover - or would be lover - involved wasn't there?

"I'm not even sure if he thought of me in the same way as I thought of him. I just liked watching him. I'd come at dawn to see him go into the mine in the morning, back out to see him come up again at the end of his hours, talk to him a little if I could. He was... strong. Imposing. And he used to smile at me, tease me for being pampered and soft. So I got it into my head to show him I could do it too. I'd take one of the little carts into the mine at night, fill it up. Give it to him, like a cat bringing home a mouse or a bird. A little present. They got paid per pound of coal, of course."

Thor didn't much like the idea of going into a mine in the daytime, let alone at night. Then again, underground... It was probably much the same no matter what time it was.

"I didn't have a clue," Loki said bitterly. "Took a lamp, took a cart and a pick, a little food and water and off I went. Took about three minutes for my arms to start aching. Ten minutes for me to get frustrated. And that's when I did it."

"Did what?"

He'd been trying not to ask any more questions, but Thor couldn't help himself.

"I didn't know about gas. Or about opening the ventilation doors to let it disperse. Or how easy it is to make a spark down there, how dangerous that is. And I was horribly unlucky that when I hurled my pickax down the shaft because I was so angry my plan wasn't working, it... It must have caught the rock at just the wrong angle then and... Boom."

Thor moved back to look at his face. There was no way this could be true. People died in such situations, instantly. He'd never heard of anyone surviving.

Loki sighed again.

"I was thrown by the blast, not crushed beneath it. I was struck by shards of rock, but otherwise escaped injury. But the mine... The collapse was near the surface, and I could not tell how badly it had caved in. Could have been two feet, could have been sixty. Either way, it would take weeks or even months to dig out. Months of not producing coal. Months of slashed wages and for what? Because I took a shine to someone. I might as well have killed their children myself."

The bitterness was palpable in his voice, in every inch of his being, and Thor hated it but he had to ask...

"I still don't understand how this traps you in the circus."

The laugh that came out of Loki's mouth was thick, heavy.

"Oh, I think I'd like a drink before I answer that. Would you like one?"

Thor blinked for a few moments.

"It's not even lunch time."

Loki got up, reaching for the top cupboard.

"Alright," he said. "Have it your way. A very, very small drink."


	39. Paper Cage

Thor wasn't the biggest lover of brandy, but he took the offered glass all the same. He also discovered that he and Loki had very different opinions on what was "small."

They ended up sitting leaning against the wall, blankets tangled around them.

"So you escaped from the collapse," Thor prompted. "Then what?"

Loki swirled his drink, watching the way it clung to the edges of the glass.

"I panicked," he said. "What was I supposed to do? I couldn't explain that I'd been trying to impress one of the miners. My father would have... Well, I don't know what. So I ran away, ran to the nearest town. Took the clothes on my back and the miners' lamp and fled."

More swirling, another sip that was more a gulp.

"I read about it in the paper. They thought I had done it deliberately. Sabotage. What possible motive I had, I do not know. Filial disobedience, I suppose. But my father took the chance to disinherit me and put a price on my capture. Not quite 'dead or alive' but I doubt it would have made much difference to him."

Thor tried to imagine doing such a thing. To your own son and all. No matter what they had done, surely setting the law on them was enough without offering a reward as well.

"I knew I needed to move on," Loki said. "Grew out my hair, sold my fancy clothes for cheap. And after about four months in my little burrow of a basement room, I saw the sign that the circus was coming to town. What better place to hide? Always on the move, avoided by the police, gravitating to towns and avoiding the land my father and his friends held."

It made a lot of sense. Better than most other options.

"How did they find out who you really were?" Thor asked. After all, that was surely the crux of the matter.

"I..." And a heavy sigh. "Look, you haven't met him. He has ways of making you tell him the truth."

"What, you just... told him?"

"I begged the ring master for a job. Begged. Managed to get in doing carrying, fetching, laundry, cooking, clearing out after animals... And then eventually they sent me down to him, to his training grounds. And he told me he knew my secret and that if I wanted to remain employed that I ought to explain and... I was eighteen or nineteen, alone, terrified. How was I to know if it was a bluff? I told him everything. And he just smiled and asked if I believed in magic. A decade and a bit, plus three circuses later, and here I am."

Trapped so young. With that weight always hanging over him, that threat of being exposed, imprisoned. What kind of life was that, always being afraid?

"It was an accident," Thor said steadily. "What happened was just a mistake, it wasn't malicious. Surely if your father understood..."

"I ran away, I hid. I seem guilty. That's all that matters."

There had to be another way out of this. Had to be.

"So you'd go to prison for a little while, so what? How bad could it be?"

"I don't know and I don't intend to find out."

"But would it be worse than being... being made?"

Loki put his head in his hands, despairing.

"Those are my two options. A life in a cage or a life in the spotlight, but not on my terms. Maybe I should just stop fighting and accept the latter."

"Why don't you just run away again? You're clever. You could find something else easily, some other job."

Loki scoffed, downing his brandy and shuffling down to be horizontal again.

"Why not indeed?" he said. "I probably could. He might never find me, might never turn me in. But the truth is... I love the magic too much to leave it. Where else could I spend my days thinking of ways to trick people and being paid for it? An honest life. Or something close to it."

Run away from home and discover a passion. What were the chances?

They sat in silence for a while as Thor finished his drink, thinking.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked. "Is there a lunch line? I think you should eat something."

Yet another sigh.

"The food will be where we got dinner last night. If you must."

Thor smiled at him, taking his glass to be washed, and tried not to feel guilty about deliberately ducking out of his sight.


	40. Snippet

Thor knew he had to be sneaky. He dropped off the glasses with a pile of dishes waiting to be cleaned - such items seemed to be shared rather than personal - and collected two bowls before joining the line for what seemed to be some kind of soup by the looks of it.

Mantis spoke quietly as she poured out two portions, like she was just passing the time of day.

"Gamora is organising, but it's slow business. She intends to hold Ronan for a kind of ransom, force her father to come and face her."

"And then what?"

"I'm not sure."

He nodded in thanks. It was hardly anything, but at least it was something. What else could he do?

He wished he was more in the loop though. For a start, he didn't like the idea of drawing more dangerous men here. From his perspective, there were quite enough already. And then there was Loki. What to do about him?

Though he was trying his best to deny it, he wanted to find a way to help all of them, including Loki. He liked him. And knowing the truth - assuming it was the truth - about his past made him like him even more.

It was nice to be trusted. Even if only a little bit. And, of course, he knew he always wanted to try to help people, try to turn things around as best he could, this was different. Deeper in some way. Like he owed it to them to see this out til the end.

He got some spoons and sidled back over to Mantis as briefly as possible.

"I think I'll be doing the show again tonight," he said conversationally.

Hopefully she'd let Gamora know and they could grab a few seconds of time to talk.

Loki poked at his food when Thor presented it to him, stirring and swirling, but did eventually eat it. He seemed pensive, restless. His troubles all converging probably didn't do much for his state of mind.

"You didn't leave," he said pointedly, long after Thor had finished his meal.

"What, you thought I'd just run away?"

A shrug. He needed reassurance, it seemed. Even if the truth would need to be bent a little for it.

"Well, it's possibly due to my intervention that Nebula decided to run away. And I suppose I have to take at least some responsibility for that and try to help you with your new problems. Besides, we're... something close to friends, are we not? Friends help out."

"We don't trust each other."

Thor thought about Loki telling his story, all about his past that he had run from, and wondered how far that mistrust really went. Or if therefore the story shouldn't really be taken at face value. After all, the first story, the one about being a child performer, that had been a lie.

"I still wouldn't like it if anything bad happened to you."

Loki snorted.

"Weren't you the one threatening me only a few days ago?"

True. But he hadn't really meant it.

"Well... I was very angry. And you'd done something terrible and now it's come back and bitten you. I sympathise. Besides, being your assistant was fun. I'd like to try that again, if you'll have me."

Even if he'd insist on putting on his own eyeliner this time.

Loki shrugged and sighed and mumbled something about Thor's bed being surprisingly comfortable.

They spent the afternoon before the show doing some kind of experiment with hoops. Thor didn't really understand; it seemed to be some kind of trick where the metal appeared to pass through a piece of wood, but the sleight wasn't quite right yet. Needed more work.

And when Thor dropped through the trapdoor that evening, far more fluidly this time, Gamora was waiting to whisper to him.

"Nebula's feeling much better. Not in pain anymore. Most of the people I share duties are on my side and I'm working on finding excuses to talk to some of the others, but I think I'll run out of time. The man coming is strong and rumours are spreading. They're scared. We may need your help."

"Ronan?" Thor asked. "Is he dangerous?"

"Yes. And I intend to use Loki as bait to lure him in."

Even in the dark - no lantern tonight - Thor was sure his reaction was clear. Use Loki as an unwitting duck? That was unfair.

"You can defend him if you like," she hissed. "But I've very nearly run out of charitable feelings."

She vanished into the maze of props and equipment just as Loki came backstage.

Thor was glad of the chance to hide his emotions. He was going to have to lie again. Which he wasn't fond of as well as being bad at sometimes.

At least the guilt might help him persevere if it came down to a physical altercation.


	41. The Inevitable

The sound of applause was addictive. No wonder Loki loved it so much. Thor got used to the smells and sounds of being in the tent, at spotting who would love to be chosen as a helper, at picking his moment to be extra distracting.

And he got used to taking Loki home, to waking up together. To a warm body lying next to his, limbs wrapped around him, to biting kisses. It would almost be romantic if he didn't have guilt rolling through him almost constantly.

He let Loki have his wish of spilling in his mouth. It was hardly his first time, but all the same it had been a while since he'd felt that surge of bitterness.

And he was grateful that Loki didn't go as rough as he'd promised. He protested afterwards that he couldn't risk bruising Thor's lips, that he had to be kept pretty for the crowd, but Thor wondered if there was a little tenderness there as well.

Not that they ought to be feeling tender, of course. That wasn't what they were to each other. It was just sex and performing. And soon Loki would learn of his betrayals and grow to hate him.

"What are you thinking about?" Loki asked on Sunday afternoon, both of them scrubbing down the caravan.

He ought to tell him...

"Nothing."

"You're very quiet."

Yes. He'd been thinking about how much he would miss this. This game of having someone, of being part of a team. How hard it was going to be to go back to being by himself, to following unfaithful spouses around the city.

He almost willed Ronan to come, to snap him out of it.

Maybe he wished too hard.

The arrival came at night, or in the early hours of the morning at least. So, of course, Loki was not at home. At the time Ronan arrived, he was in Thor's bed, gasping as Thor stroked them off together, too tired for anything else.

They first knew of it in the cold light of morning with a soft knocking at the door, Thor staggering to his feet and pulling his sleep clothes into something resembling decency, just in case it was Young Hilde with coffee.

Instead he came face to face with Gamora, her wrist being held by a looming man with a stern brow. Oh. Oh, no.

"So this is what he's been... up to, is it?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Thor saw Loki sit bolt upright, like he was terrified. Gamora just looked numb, but maybe that was a shield, hiding something.

Ronan pushed past Thor, jerking Gamora in after him, not noticing that Thor had closed and locked the door.

"Where is she, Loki?" he asked.

A smile. A shrug. Playing for time.

"Gamora? She's right there. Honestly, I know it's been a little while since you saw her, but surely she's not changed that much."

A snarl and he dropped her wrist. That was his first mistake.

"Thor, now!" she yelled.

Now? Now, what?

Well, something, he supposed.

He grabbed Ronan by the shoulder and span him, aiming for his jaw with a punch but mainly getting cheek and nose. It didn't do much except make him briefly stunned and angry though, launching himself at Thor until they toppled to the floor, getting in blows where they could.

"Rope!" Gamora shouted.

"Don't have any."

Who had rope just lying around?!

"Belts," Loki said. "Ties."

He was possibly in the wardrobe getting them. Thor was busy focussing on not being choked.

And that was hammering at the door and a high voice calling out questions. Shit. Thor managed a kick upwards.

"It's fine, Hilde!" he called, unsure whether it was mother or daughter. "Everything's under control!"

Ronan's second mistake was trying to strangle Thor, partially because it occupied his hands but also because it gave Loki the idea to wrap a belt around his neck and _pull..._

The second he let go, Thor was up and grabbing at his arms, pulling them tight for Gamora to bind, shoving him over to get his legs as well and even pushing a handkerchief into his mouth as a temporary gag.

Could have gone better, Thor thought, feeling the spots he'd been hit. And now Volstagg was at the door demanding to be let in or he'd break the thing down off its hinges.

There was something quite terrible about seeing his old friend's eyebrows shoot up at the scene in front of him once he was in the room.

"Lad..." he said slowly. "I know I always ask this and you always say not to worry, but tell me the truth this time. Are you in some sort of trouble?"

"Uh..." Thor said, breathless and coughing. "Maybe. Maybe a little bit."

Maybe quite a lot.


	42. Little Discussion

"I'll explain, sir," Gamora said, giving Volstagg a charming smile which was only slightly ruined by her mussed hair. Not that he tended to notice such things anyway.

"You see, my sister was coerced into a position she did not really wish to be in, and Mr Odinson helped me find and rescue her. However, now this man has come to try to take her away again, and to punish Mr Laufeyson for allowing her to escape, and so we plan to hold him to ransom and demand freedom and justice for all of us who work in the circus. Better pay and better rights."

"We do, do we?" Loki said, glaring at Thor.

Which he deserved, and expected, and yet he was still burning bright red at being thought so badly of.

"I thought it the best option for everyone and if you had known the truth, you would have tried to stop us."

"Yes, because you're going to get us all killed!"

Ronan was making determined motions, grunting and straining, kicking out even with his feet bound. How on earth were they going to get him back to the circus?

After all, he couldn't stay here.

"Grab his legs," Loki snapped. "Get him on the bed, we'll tie him down. And then we need to go downstairs and you two can tell me your ridiculous scheme and I'll explain, in very simple words that even you can understand, why exactly it's a foolish idea. And then we can come back up and beg for forgiveness."

Thor had known this would happen. That Loki would be angry and their friendship damaged, possibly beyond repair. He scolded himself though. Gamora was his client and his loyalty ought to be to her primarily.

"Coffee for three, then?" Volstagg asked as they wrestled Ronan into submission, wrapping another belt around his face in an effort to keep him mute. "Or something stronger perhaps?"

Tempting though it was, maybe it was a little too early.

Volstagg pulled Thor aside as he locked the door, wary of leaving Ronan alone even trussed up as he was.

"Thor, you know Hilde and I will do anything to help you, but... But you can't bring this kind of thing here. It's not safe. I have to think of my family."

Thor sighed.

"I know. I didn't mean to. And hopefully now it's out in the open, it will move back to the circus ground properly."

A clap on the back. A tight-lipped smile. They really were too good to him sometimes.

From the shop floor, Gamora and Loki seemed to be having a blazing row in strangely quiet voices.

"Rat," she was saying. "Snake. I might have guessed you had more to do with it than you were letting on."

"Your detective didn't tell you everything, then? Bet it was a surprise when you realised how close we'd become."

"He was distracting you, you idiot!"

"No, I wasn't!" Thor protested, coming into the room. "Or at least not... Not entirely. I did most of it because I wanted to."

Gamora groaned loudly and rested her head against one of Volstagg's mirrors.

"Great," she said. "Just what I needed. Emotions. I suppose he's told you he loves you?"

He could see himself going pink in the reflection as Volstagg brought them coffee and pointedly left the room again.

"Of course not," he stammered. "It's not like that. But we are friends, of a sort. And I value that."

He meant it. Every word. But Loki was rolling his eyes, so maybe the feeling was not mutual.

"Look," Thor said, pretending that didn't sting. "We need to work together. There's a dangerous man upstairs, angry at all of us. If we're going to take control, we need a plan. And we need to get him out of my bed and out of here for a start. There are children in this house."

"There are children in the circus too," Loki pointed out. But possibly he was just being contrary.

"But you are better placed to protect them there than the ones here."

Gamora seized a cup of coffee, taking a large gulp and setting it down again roughly.

"Agreed, but we can hardly frogmarch him through the streets tied and gagged," she said. "We'll be arrested."

True. But he really couldn't stay here.

"How many in the circus are following you?" he asked.

"Some of them," she said. "Fewer than I would like. But most of us go back years, they trust me."

"And those that don't?"

"They will once they know Loki is with me. He'll show that it's serious."

The hollow laughter seemed to almost echo, despite the shop being too small and cosy for that.

"No, no, no," Loki said. "I know which side my bread is buttered on, thank you."

"Some bread," Thor said. "When you know one day they'll turn on you."

"No," Loki protested. "No, they won't. I've proved my loyalty now."

He was so vehement, but his eyes had a hunted look about them, like he was trying to convince himself of the fact.

Gamora calmly finished her coffee and turned to him, grim-faced and jaw clenched.

"Go upstairs and reach into Ronan's right pocket," she said. "Stage right. Read it. And then decide how safe you are."

Narrowed eyes, flaring nostrils, Loki shrugged and turned to make his way upstairs once more.

"What is it?" Thor asked quietly, once he thought he was out of earshot.

"A letter from my father," she murmured. "Containing instructions that Nebula must be found and Loki punished for losing her. Ronan showed it to me. He was looking forward to doing it."

Thor shrugged.

"That's not much," he said. "Loki will talk his way out of it."

"You don't understand. It's not a fleeting punishment like a fine or even a beating. It's permanent. That letters contains detailed instructions on how Loki is to be made."

Thor felt like someone had taken hold of his heart and begun squeezing and span on his heels to follow Loki up the stairs.


	43. Instructions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini-warning that this chapter contains details of planned nonconsensual body modifications.

Loki was sitting on the floor, though whether he had sat down deliberately or collapsed wasn't clear. And he didn't resist as Thor took the sheet of paper clutched in his fingers.

He almost dropped it. He hadn't expected there to be pictures along with the writing.

Right there in black ink. Diagrams. Cut here. Tie here. Wait for the scars to heal over and then cut again.

There were many horrors to look at, but Thor couldn't tear his eyes away from the image of a tongue slit in two, a human mouth with a fork protruding from it, imagining how painful such a procedure would be and worse, imagining how difficult it would be to speak like that, especially if it healed badly. Loki's voice, his words, so much part of his identity, taken and changed.

When he finally wrenched his eyes away from it, he could barely absorb the other instructions; fracturing the legs in certain places, forcing them to heal in the wrong way.

And the title...

The Snake Man.

They were going to break and bind his feet, make him unable to walk, make him crawl and slither, snap his legs over and over to make the bones almost coil.

They had learned from Nebula's accident. They had seen an opportunity.

The rage burned within him. How many? How many people had they done this to? Carved them up and changed them against their will, like they were nothing?

His gaze fell on Ronan, scowling on the bed, wrists red where he'd been struggling against them.

Thor brandished the paper in front of his eyes, pointing viciously.

"Is this your role?" he growled. "Is this what you do? Butchering? Cutting people up?"

He wanted to lash out. His hands itched with the urge to strike, ready to fly, ready to break every single one of Ronan's teeth, his nose, his _neck..._

But he couldn't. Not a bound man. Not when he was only the general and the commander was still out there. You shouldn't fight those who couldn't fight back, there was a line. Even with men like this.

And besides, Loki was still in the room and in need of comfort or care or something. Most of all needing to go back downstairs away from the horrors of this room.

He let Thor help him up, still a little grey or maybe just extra pale from the shock, sighing and shaking his head. Disbelief? Resignation? Thor wasn't sure.

"You listen to me," he said on the stairs. "Whatever your crimes may be, however much I object to some of the choices you may have made, I will not let this happen to you. I swear it. But that means we need your help."

"What's the point?" Loki mumbled. "We're doomed before we start."

"No, we're not. Of course we're not. And even if we are, we have to fight. The Loki I know wouldn't just wait for this to happen."

Outside the door to Volstagg's shop, Loki stopped dead.

"But you don't know me, Thor," he said. "You might think you do, but you don't. I lie, all the time. To you, to myself, to everyone. You don't know me any more than you love me, no one does."

"I know that I like you," Thor said, vehement. "I know that you are intelligent and inventive and, yes, infuriating at times, but playful and interesting and I can't... I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you. Not when I can try to prevent it. I couldn't live with myself."

For a moment, Loki stared at him in the low light of the stairs.

And then he lunged forwards to claim Thor's lips in a kiss, both surprising and pleasant, if a little salty from the tears he hadn't realised were slipping silently down Loki's face.

It took Thor a moment to remember to kiss back.

He didn't know what this was exactly; a mix of companionship and passion that he daren't even try to put a name to. It was too soon for that, too uncertain.

Gamora hadn't moved, but it seemed Volstagg had topped up her cup. She was listening politely as he pottered about, his defence mechanism of easy small talk coming to the fore again, telling her how long he'd been a barber and about the children, how nice it was having a young man with a steady job upstairs, most of the time, and so on.

"Changed sides?" she asked when Loki reappeared.

Thor couldn't deny that he respected Loki's sheer gall in merely shrugging. Like it meant nothing to learn that the people he worked for so loyally were planning to mutilate him beyond recognition.

"It seems I must," Loki said. "But I still don't see how we can get Ronan through the streets without being a cause for concern. He'll fight. We need to restrain him somehow, but we'll be noticed trying to move a fighting man regardless of how well we manage to disguise it."

Hmm... What kind of man needed to be firmly dragged along? Who needed their friends' strong hands to force them to walk in a straight line?

Well... That gave Thor an idea at least. It might work, maybe. If they were lucky.

"Volstagg," he said carefully. "What's your strongest moonshine like?"

"Pretty potent. If I wasn't more careful, I'd worry about it making people blind."

Right now, Thor didn't care.

"I think we'd like to buy a bottle, please."


	44. Getting Back

Ronan fought. Of course he did. They were holding him down and force feeding him an unknown liquid that smelled seriously unhealthy. Thor couldn't believe people paid for it, but who was he to judge?

There was coughing and spluttering, spitting and biting, and frankly the whole thing was sleazier and less ethical than Thor generally kept his life. He could worry about that later though, when his fingers weren't so sore.

And, of course, they had to wait a little while for it to have an effect, Ronan's curses growing a little more slurred as he struggled with his words.

A drunkard would need to be escorted home by his friends and even if he yelled that he was being moved against his will, who would believe the ramblings of a man that drunk at this hour?

"That's really quite wicked," Loki had said when he outlined the idea. "I'm almost impressed."

Thor felt distinctly less impressive as they tried to get a tall, broad man down the stairs as he tried ineffectively to fight them off.

"Can we keep him in your caravan?" Gamora asked. "Since you have a place to sleep elsewhere."

"No, I think someone should watch him. You keep him, you have two beds."

"That's Nebula's hammock. After all she's been through, she deserves to come home to her own bed, don't you think?"

"Put him wherever he was meant to go," Thor groaned, shoving Ronan out the door. "He was going to sleep somewhere. We'll put him there and we'll guard him."

Ronan giggled, though it was more of a gurgle.

"You're all fucked, y'know... Won't survive this."

Thor had no intention of replying.

"Are you volunteering to do it?" Loki asked. "Sit around guarding him?"

It wasn't Thor's idea of fun exactly, but needs must. Desperate times and all that.

And if it helped protect Nebula from the needle and Loki from the knife and broken bones... Well, all the better.

With only minimal literal arm twisting - or so Thor told himself - the managed to force Ronan through the gates of the circus, past the two young girls sitting at it to watch the comings and goings, eyes wide at their little procession.

"Lock the place up," Gamora said to them. "I want everyone in the big top as soon as possible. I have an announcement to make."

They began heaving the gates shut and rattling chain locks as they carried on, heading for the caravans and the tent beyond.

"Get some rope," Loki called, setting off a flurry of activity, then dropping his voice conspiratorially. "What are you going to tell them?"

"The truth," Gamora said. "I know it's a foreign concept to you, but sometimes it's necessary."

To Thor's surprise, they didn't seem to be planning to drop Ronan off on the way. Though he'd be bound, it seemed Gamora wanted to show off her trophy, proof that the men they feared so much could be subdued.

It was easier to tie him up this time, the effects of the alcohol still making him slow. He took swipes at them as soon as his arms weren't being gripped all the same, but ended up in the mud when Loki kicked him in the back of the knee.

"On the stage, come on," he said. "I bet you've missed what it's like being up there. Been years since you were on this circuit."

This whole thing did not sit well with Thor. In fact, he felt positively sick. Too much, too fast...

The circus performers and workers had gathered in the ring and word had evidently spread. Some seemed to be in a state of disbelief. This couldn't be happening. But the majority seemed cautiously excited, cheering as they forced Ronan up onto the stage and Gamora raised her hands for hush.

If Thor hadn't felt out of his depth before, he really did now.


	45. On Stage

"You all know who I am," Gamora said. "You know what I call myself. Thanos's daughter. Untouchable, irreplaceable. Safe. Well... I've recently found out that's not quite true."

They listened to her. One of them, certainly, but with an easy authority. She must have earned this over years of organisation and dealing with issues, the pragmatism and determination that had led her to stand up and refuse to accept the loss of her sister. Thanos had probably encouraged it, thinking to make her a deputy, not counting on her also having empathy and a firm sense of right and wrong.

"Some of you know this man," she said, gesturing to where Ronan was growling on the stage floor. "He works the exhibition circuit, guarding valuable display items. But he came here today in another capacity. He came to punish Loki for losing Nebula. She had been taken and... tortured, changed against her will in order to fit in at the freak show."

Mixed reactions. Some were horrified, others seemed to shrug it off. Thor supposed many of them may have been through trauma themselves, or lost friends to the same cycle of usefulness. They weren't surprised by it anymore.

"None of us are safe," Gamora continued. "If he can do this to a woman he calls his daughter, if he can turn on loyalty instantly, any one of us could be next. I say no more. I say we stand up and fight back. I say we work for ourselves."

They were unsure. Maybe being under a thumb seemed better than risking going alone. There was at least a degree of safety here, regardless of one's past. Maybe the security was worth the potential to be carted off and modified.

And now there were hands going up. Questions.

"If we work for ourselves, who will do the accounts?"

"We can. We'll learn."

"And what about the children? Who will teach them?"

"We can do that too. And we can make it better, we can give them more options. No more forced training, no more whips, no more scars upon our backs."

No more what?

Thor's gaze instantly flew to Loki. Those pale eyes - and were they blue or green? Somehow he couldn't recall, for all the time he'd stared into them - met his and quickly flew away.

A lie? Another lie?

Thor had expected it, suspected it maybe, but it still hurt somehow.

Mantis had been to fetch Nebula and helped her up onto the stage, even though she shook her off, grumbling that she didn't need assistance to climb six steps. She looked far better than she had when Thor had last seen her. No more pain as she walked across the wooden boards, stately and proud despite it all.

The atmosphere changed. There was a little hostility in the air suddenly and not just from the crowd. Loki's eyes were like flints, realising she'd been a stone's throw away from him all along, Ronan snarling behind his gag.

"You don't like me," she said to the watching crowd, her voice smoother now, almost musical without the scratch of habitual excessive drinking. "I understand. I haven't exactly given you much reason to."

She was in her shawls still, though her head was uncovered, hair growing in where it had been clipped off, and she took a deep breath before starting to reveal the tattoos upon her shoulders and the upper part of her chest. They were healing, but the violent line where they suddenly stopped gave them the appearance of a wound still.

"I didn't want these," she said. "I didn't want any of it. And he made me think I had to. He made me think that it was all I was good for. But that wasn't true."

The reveal had certainly helped, Thor thought, as Loki cleared his throat and stepped forward, though whether he was about to help or hinder, Thor couldn't tell.

Somehow he'd assumed this would be a lot easier.

Then again, he wasn't exactly in the habit of asking people to risk everything for uncertain gain.

Then again, at least they were being asked. At least they didn't stumble into it via stubbornness and being unable to resist a sharp mind and a pretty face.

Thor watched Loki theatrically clear his throat and hoped he knew what he was doing.


	46. Consideration

"Perhaps I'm not the best person to try to convince you," Loki said. "Thorn in everyone's side that I am, but from the villain's perspective... You think you're going to be safe. You think that by helping, you're protecting yourself. But I've learned how wrong that assumption is and that Gamora is right. We must stand together to be safe. It's the only way."

Say what you would about Loki, he could certainly hold a crowd.

"Until this morning, I'd have given any one of you up to them. Maybe you would have too. Maybe not, maybe you're better and more moral than me. I thought I was keeping myself safe by turning on my neighbours. But I've seen what they plan to make of me, how they intent to reward my efforts with hammers and knives."

His voice didn't so much as falter, but Thor could see him trembling slightly.

"I don't like to ask for help. Hate it, in fact. But I need help now. Your help. And if that sits ill with you, think of it as helping yourselves. If they were this quick to turn upon such a loyal servant, imagine how quickly they would take anyone having second thoughts."

It was a fair point, but Thor wasn't sure if it was landing. Everyone thought it wouldn't happen to them, that much was obvious.

There was a real risk that no one would help them. That they'd have to run, whatever the consequences. And Thor knew he'd have to go too. He felt too caught up in this, too bound to Gamora and Nebula and Loki to leave them.

Especially Loki, even if he was a liar.

After all, it had been Thor's refusal to back down that had led to the desperate situation they all were now potentially in. Of course, he didn't regret it. Nebula had been rescued and now Loki too, but all the same. Having to restrain Ronan had never been part of the plan.

Who had gone very quiet now he thought about it.

Thor looked down and realised that Ronan was managing to force his wrists out of the ropes. It was quite amazing, really. Maybe he had a background in escape stunts.

But he couldn't be allowed to slip out and so Thor quickly ducked down to tighten the knots once more, getting an attempted backwards headbutt for his trouble, growling in response.

"He's sobering up," he said in warning. "We should deal with him and let these people think things over. It's too big a decision to make lightly."

He looked up to Gamora, waiting for her nod. Showing who was in charge, hoping that might help with uncertainty. She was the leader; he would visibly defer to her and respect her authority.

"We call ourselves a family," she said as a parting word. "And maybe we're not. But I know you. I know you're loyal. But consider whether that loyalty is misplaced and given to a man who only thinks of you as money and flesh."

How many of them had actually met Thanos personally, Thor wondered. How intense a relationship did there have to be before one was considered to be his "child"? As far as he could tell, the designation offered Gamora no special treatment. Certainly didn't give Nebula any.

He could consider that later. He had other things to think about.

For a start, Loki had lied to him, again. At least partially. The scars did not come from an underground explosion. Or at least not fully. The tale had been so outlandish that he'd found it easier to believe than question. Maybe bits of it were true, or even most of it?

He'd have to ask. And be lied to, yet again, probably.

A man might start to spot a pattern...

They managed to get Ronan into a sparse caravan despite him fighting every step of the way. A lock was better than ropes perhaps, especially when he managed to get the gag out of his mouth somewhere along the way.

"You fools," he said. "You can't hold me here. Sooner or later, you're going to make a mistake and I'll be out."

"You're right," Loki said. "We ought to kill you now."

The fear lanced through Thor. Surely that wouldn't be necessary. Restraint and abduction he could almost justify, but not murder. That was too far.

It was lucky there was nothing accessible but a mattress in the caravan if the noises were anything to go by. Yelling and crashing.

"He won't be able to get through the window, will he?" Thor asked.

"Painted shut," Loki said. "So not unless he decides to break them and then there's broken glass to contend with, plus the drop."

They all seemed to slump a little once it was done, Thor sitting down on the steps as a guard. The meeting with the circus's other inhabitants could have gone better. They were all thinking it.

"I think there is still leftover breakfast," Mantis said with forced brightness. "Would anyone like some?"

Thor didn't feel much like eating, but if he didn't he knew he'd regret it later. He thanked her, getting a smile as she took the opportunity to get away for a few moments. Really he thought she wanted to be away from Ronan. Away from talk of killing perhaps.

An uneasy silence fell, as the rest of them considered their options.

None of which were terribly appealing.


	47. Thoughts

"I suppose I ought to write to Father," Gamora said out of nowhere. "Let him hear it from me what I've done and why."

"Is that wise?" Thor asked.

"Maybe not, but I think I ought to. He'll hear soon enough anyway and this way maybe we'll be able to talk it over, make him see and understand that he's gone too far and that he must stop."

From the looks on both Loki and Nebula's faces, they were not as hopeful as she was that such a peaceful solution was possible. In fact, Thor thought that Nebula looked almost excited at the idea of exacting some kind of painful and possibly bloody revenge.

"I'll help," she said. "Show him that he can't treat me like a scared little girl anymore."

So much for diplomacy, Gamora.

And that left Thor and Loki alone with just Ronan's bellows for company. Somehow silence would have been worse though.

"Thanos gave you your scars," Thor said, thinking to get it over with. "Not some... freak accident."

He wasn't looking at Loki, eyes staring forward at nothing in particular, but he heard the sigh.

"Not personally. But they were his methods."

Thor nodded vaguely. He'd almost expected it.

"So why did you lie to me?"

"Because I suspected you knew where Nebula was. I thought if I made you feel sorry enough for me that you might break and spill the beans, as it were."

"I'd have felt sorry for you knowing the truth, I imagine."

He saw Loki fold his arms out of the corner of his eye, and unfold them and his shoulders tightening.

"But the truth belongs to me," he said quietly. "I wanted to trick you into feeling bad, not really let you know... all of that. How pathetic I really am."

Thor was a soft touch, he knew it, but his heart ached all the same. Every time he thought they got close to trusting each other... But there were walls he couldn't scale here, doors that might always be closed to him.

"Not all of it was a lie," Loki said, placating. "I really was rich. There really was a miner I was infatuated with. There really was a collapse, for all I had nothing to do with it."

A crumb of truth to hide the taste of lies.

"You don't have to tell me anything," Thor said. "You don't owe me it. I've told you nothing after all. You know nothing about me, even if I don't have secrets like you do."

After a pause, Loki settled down next to him on the caravan step. Ronan had gone quiet. Maybe the drink had caught up with him, put him to sleep.

"I can probably guess though. You're kind. Dogged. Stubborn. Used to getting your own way. An only child, or maybe simply the eldest. I think the only one though. And I'm not sure your parents are still with us. You haven't mentioned them. But someone must have shown you what it was to be caring. Maybe not family, but I would assume so."

So far, so completely correct. Though Thor wasn't sure he liked being told he was stubborn. Mainly because he was, but he preferred to think of it as being determined.

"But that's your childhood," Loki said. "What of Thor the man? A man who seeks to right wrongs, to protect those unable to shield themselves, asking only a crumb to eat and perhaps a warm body to share a bed with..."

"Alright," Thor said, holding up a hand to try to make him stop. "You're making fun of me now."

Loki took hold of his fingers examining them curiously.

"You're the only person I can remember who thought I was worth protecting," he said. "Even though you know I am a liar and a conniver and would sell my own grandmother to get ahead. Makes me wonder just what you see in me."

Was that a question?

And if it was, could he possibly word the truth in a way that wasn't offensive?

That he didn't think Loki beyond redemption. Yes, he'd made some wicked, cruel decisions, but he seemed to regret them to an extent. Maybe that regret could be cultivated into something more positive.

Thor shrugged, linking their fingers together.

"I like you. Does there has to be a specific reason for it? You're interesting and intelligent."

"And from the wrong side of the tracks."

Well, maybe. Maybe he did like that Loki was just a little dangerous with it. But they both were if it came to it. They'd just kidnapped a man after all.

They were still holding hands, though lost in their own thoughts, when Mantis arrived with a bowl of something hot and salty, possibly scrambled eggs.

Thor didn't miss how hungrily Loki looked at it and was happy enough to share.

He wished he didn't seem so surprised by kindness.

"What's your plan, then?" Thor asked half through a mouthful. "Are you going to go along with whatever Gamora comes up with?"

That didn't quite seem likely.

"Hm. Depends. But I rather think Nebula and I are the ones who'll end up joining forces."

And she was clearly considering violence. Then again, they had been the ones most at risk. Nebula would bear the physical marks for the rest of her life, let alone the internal horrors.

Still, Thor wasn't quite sure where that would fall on his own personal scale of morality.

Definitely straying further and further into more troubling waters of late, he knew that much.

There was a crash behind him, like a body slamming into the side of the caravan and then a groan.

"He'll tire himself out soon," Loki said.

Thor didn't even have a laugh in him.


	48. Equipment

People began to emerge from the shadows to talk with them little by little. To ask if it was true, if Gamora was going to challenge Thanos for control of the empire. Thor wasn't sure it was quite as simple as that. Or indeed if that was her idea. Maybe she only wanted this particular outfit.

Then again, it would remove one of their evident fears, the belief that they wanted to destroy the cirvus altogether. Their careers were on the line, their incomes and for some the idea of having to change was clearly too much.

"You'll have to ask her," he said every time. "I'm just... helping."

And, of course, that begged the question of why he was bothering. What he was getting out of it, why he would feel this loyalty, whether or not he had other motives guiding him.

He didn't have much of an answer. It felt like the right thing to do, that was all. If he walked away now, he'd never forgive himself. But that didn't take away the fact that he was an outsider; he had a home and a bed and a means to live. He had options. He couldn't wonder at it if they were suspicious of him.

"You can't stay out here all night," Loki murmured at one point.

Very clearly 'you' and not 'we', Thor noticed.

Ronan was going through cycles of screaming blue murder and then going quiet. Plotting or scheming... Who knew? And they'd have to feed him at some point, give him water. Was there a chamber pot or something in there? Oh, God, he didn't want to be the one dealing with that, but he'd probably have to...

"We can't risk leaving him unattended," he said.

"The gates will be locked. You've seen them, and the spikes on them. He won't be able to get out even if he does somehow slip out of here."

"Maybe not, but he could hurt someone. Get a weapon. Destroy things. Set a fire."

Loki leant against his shoulder.

"Must be grim living in your head, always thinking so badly of people. But alright. You're right, we need something better to hold him with, something he won't be able to twist out of..."

Oh, Thor did not like the sound of that.

But Loki was already up, humming softly, heading towards another caravan. One with no windows. Storage only, one of the ones Thor had wanted to search when he first arrived.

That seemed so very long ago now.

He could not see what Loki was doing, though he dragged boxes out onto the mud, opening them and rattling through, mouth askew like he was trying to remember something.

Without noticing, Thor dozed, leaning against the door. It had been a long and stressful day and it was only going to get worse from now on. How long did they even have the lease of the park for? Oh, dear.

It was a relief for his mind to empty, just for a little while, the distant sounds of Loki grunting as he moved heavy things just entering his ears.

Light jingling brought him back, frowning as he tried to understand what Loki was holding.

"Ta-dah."

Well, that was a lot of buckles...

"What is it?"

"A restraining jacket."

Thor vaguely thought he'd seen one in the paper once, the courtroom drawing of an ill man.

"Why do you have one of those?" he asked, wondering if he really wanted to know.

"Maybe sometimes I enjoy being trussed up."

He cackled at Thor's wide eyes.

"Some other time I'll introduce you to it. You'll like it. I'll be forced to let you control everything, all my pleasure. Maybe even beg you for it... But no, it's part of an escaping act we used to do."

Thor thought of Ronan squirming out of the ropes and worried.

"Are you sure he won't be able to slip out of it? He seems to have the skills for that kind of trick."

"Not if I strap him in right. The trick is to leave just enough slack, so if I buckle him in tightly it should be fine. And it's easier when you're twenty-one and flexible. His bulk won't help him here."

It did seem a good option, as these things went, even if Thor wasn't quite sure.

"How will we get him into it without getting our faces broken?"

After all separating his arms, pulling on sleeves, legs still free to kick... This wasn't going to be easy.

Loki merely sighed at him.

"You won't like what I have in mind."

Well, that certainly filled him with hope.

"What are you thinking?"

Even though Ronan probably couldn't hear them clearly, Loki dropped his voice to a low murmur, leaning down to speak directly into his ear.

"I think we should slip a little something into his food. Knock him out, bundle him up."

Thor watched a small boy turning cartwheels just visible between a gap in the vehicles.

"Well, you're right," he said. "I don't like it."

It was probably dangerous, yet another crime, and he didn't like the idea of Loki having access to such things anyway. Not that he thought he'd use them on anyone else, of course.

"But?" Loki prompted.

Thor sighed heavily, rubbing at his eyes.

"But since I have nothing better to offer..."

Loki kissed him sneakily on the cheek.

"I'll visit the pharmacy then," he said. "And maybe pick up a treat for such a good guard dog while I'm out."

He laughed and danced away as Thor tried to swat at his behind.


	49. A Letter

No amount of staking out homes or waiting for leads made Thor any more keen on being forced to stay still for long periods. He entertained himself as best he could. He watched what practice he could from his low vantage point. Juggling and tumbling, stilt walkers. There were birds flitting about, hoping for crumbs, svavenging for discarded snacks. Thor wasn't sure if it was doing them any good, but they seemed happy enough.

He ignored Ronan as best he could. The tapping. Constant tapping on the window.

Tap... Tap... Tap... Tap... Long gaps in between, evidently literally using his head to do it with his hands bound behind him.

Eventually Thor couldn't bear it. He stood and turned, finding a face at the window.

Ronan might be handsome beneath the scowl, he thought. Nice jaw, cheekbones. Maybe he sometimes had the smile to match, but so far he'd only seen a sneer.

"What?" he asked, trying to be loud enough to be hard through the glass.

"I need to piss."

"Then piss. Use the corner if there's no pot."

"I need... You'll need to undo my trousers at least. Surely you have some standards around here."

Part of Thor felt sorry for him, but it seemed both their hands were tied.

"I don't have the key. Loki took it."

It was the truth, but a beat later Ronan slammed both hands into the glass, rope dangling from one wrist, and Thor was glad the opportunity for mercy hadn't been an option. He'd thought he could trick him? Didn't he know being around Loki had made him extra alert?

"Seems you can handle it yourself after all," Thor said, giving him a warm smile and settling himself down on the stairs of the caravan once more.

The worrying was getting acute now. How exactly was Loki planning to drug him? Thor had expected to simply feed it to him along with a meal, spoon it in directly. They were going to have to rely on him to eat it willingly now.

Then again, despite having had something for breakfast, Thor's stomach was rumbling again. Add alcohol to the day and Ronan had to be positively starving.

He just hoped it would work out with minimum risk to everyone. Even Ronan. He might be mean and an enforcer for Thanos's iron rule but that did not excuse mistreating him. A new beginning shouldn't start with more violence if they could possibly avoid it.

And, of course, he was aware that he might end up at logger heads with Loki and even more so with Nebula over that opinion.

Speaking of, she and Gamora were approaching, in full flow of discussion, or possibly debate. They seemed a little surprised that he was alone though, frowns and folded arms.

"Where's Loki?"

"Nipped out to pick something up."

They both gave him a look, one he wasn't quite sure of, as though they were internally wondering whether or not to ask for more details, and both seemed to decide they didn't need to.

"We'd like your opinion," Gamora said, making Thor's heart sink. "Nebula wants to add something to the end of my letter."

"It's a good idea," Thor said. "Proves that she's here and safe. That it's not a bluff."

"It's more the wording that we disagree about."

Ah...

"May I read what you have so far? To get an idea of tone?"

Nebula rolled her eyes as Gamora handed over the piece of paper, neat writing looping across it. He wondered who had taught them. He wouldn't have expected much schooling featured in their circus training, but maybe he was wrong.

Or maybe some kind soul had taught them at a later date.

_Father,_

_I wrote to you some weeks ago detailing my concerns over Nebula's whereabouts and welfare. Perhaps your reply was lost in the post, but the apparent silence I faced pushed me to take matters into my own hands._

Thor admired her bravery in using such language, unable to keep his lips from twitching upwards.

_Following some investigations, I discovered Nebula had been coerced and convinced that she had to go through a painful procedure to make herself of use to you, despite not wishing it to happen._

_I'm sure you can guess how I feel about this happening to anyone, but particularly my sister._

_As a result, I have brought Nebula home, where she can be safe and regain her confidence. This morning, you kindly sent Ronan to help in the search and I would like to inform you that his assistance is not necessary._

_We were very interested to see the letter you sent with him however. I regret to inform you that Loki politely declines your offer of a transfer to the freak show. Of course, we realise this potentially pushes the burden onto someone else. I feel it fair to tell you that no one is prepared to step forward. Please allow the vacancy to remain unfilled until a new volunteer is found rather than pushing the matter._

_In truth, I have begun to think things over very carefully and I feel it is time that we parted ways. These people are my family. They are your employees, not things you own to change and move however you see fit._

_I will not allow you to do this anymore. I am not afraid of you._

_Thanos, I no longer wish to be called your daughter and merely write out of courtesy to inform you that I shall be taking over the operation of this circus immediately. Expect no further correspondence, visits, foundlings or money from us._

_Leave us be._

_Gamora_

Thor frowned, a little lost.

"What will you do about Ronan?" he asked. "And what of the other circuses, the other people out there at risk?"

Gamora smiled at him knowingly.

"The letter just to lure him up here," she said. "He won't be able to resist putting me in my place."

"And then what?"

"We can discuss that before he arrives."

Thor was beginning to feel the ground distinctly slipping out from beneath his feet.


	50. Hints of Recovery

"He'll come to us," Gamora said firmly. "I've baited the hook. He won't be able to resist."

Thor wished he had her confidence. He felt that trying to predict anything was a mistake, even though the sisters pointed out that they had already correctly guessed at Ronan's arrival. He could hardly argue with that.

All the same, it was going to take time. How were they going to stay here if their lease ran out?

"Oh, that's easy," Nebula said. "We'll go to the local registry and request an extension. As long as no one's booked this area directly after us, it shouldn't be a problem. And since we'll have full control over monies in and out, we can authorise the payment of rent."

Practical. Sensible. How had she ever convinced herself that she was useless?

Well, he knew, didn't he? A lifetime of abuse and lying, telling her that she was over and over until she believed it.

It might take a lifetime to make her believe otherwise, but at least she could perhaps begin now. And at least she had her sister to help.

Assuming they all survived this.

Should she write something at the end of the letter? He wasn't sure. But it seemed important to her and so he didn't want to take it away.

Besides, if Gamora was wrong and Thanos didn't come, this might be her last chance to tell their so-called father exactly what she thought of him.

"What do you plan to write?" he asked.

"Nothing long," Nebula said. "My writing is despicable next to hers anyway. But enough to send a definite message."

"What message?"

He watched her tighten her jaw, nostrils slightly flared. Excited. Or angry. Or both.

"That I will never let him define me again. He will not hurt me again. I don't require anyone to make me into anything."

Well, it was very much to the point. It might enrage him, but that seemed to be Gamora's plan, wise or not.

"I think you should," he said. "No doubts, no compromise."

Nebula took the paper from his hand and flashed Gamora a smug smile. She did seem much better than he'd ever seen her, showing that there was a playful side, a sense of humour behind the sarcasm.

She walked away with a real air of grace about her. He couldn't put his finger on it quite, but it was definitely there.

Gamora smiled to see her go, though her look at Thor was more guarded.

"It's going to get harder before it gets better," she said quietly. "And I won't pretend your morals might not be compromised a little."

"It's like you're reading my mind. But I suppose flexibility is a necessary part of assisting a magician."

It was good to make her laugh, even briefly, before she grew serious again.

"Do you think Loki knows what he's doing? Do you think we can trust him?"

"I think he's fairly sure," Thor said carefully. "And I trust that his self-preservation instinct has put him firmly on our side. At least for the foreseeable future."

She nodded grimly. That was probably going to be as close as they got.

"Ronan's very quiet," she commented.

"Well, he knows I don't have the key. Probably sleeping. That's what I would do in his place."

He could see the tiredness in her face, the faint shadows under her eyes. This had to be stressful and exhausting.

"Maybe you should be getting some rest too," he said softly.

She smiled and patted him on the shoulder vaguely before turning away.

He'd like to think she was going to catch up on a little sleep, but somehow he doubted it.


	51. Attempted Dinner

After one of the most boring, anxious days of his life, Thor finally spotted Loki and Mantis coming towards him, three plates in their hands. Two in hers, one in his. But three of them, plus Ronan...

Thor was sure everything would make sense, in time.

"Fried onions," Loki announced. "And potatoes and cheese, little bit of chicken. Some greenery of vague origin. Just what your average hungry mercenary circus worker wants. Shall we feed the beast?"

"He's loose," Thor warned, eyes going wide as Loki produced a mallet out of his trousers, held up by his belt.

There was a metaphor here somewhere but Thor was resolutely not thinking of that...

"Just in case he gets a bit angry. You can break his nose," he said pressing it into Thor's hand and then reaching for his pocket and the keys within.

Ronan seemed to have anticipated a weapon. He practically growled at them, hunched in the corner of the mattress on the floor. There wasn't a pot after all, though he hadn't seemed to have needed one. Thor made a mental note of yet another thing required to keep someone against their will.

"Dinner is served," Loki said, putting down the single plate he was carrying.

Ronan scoffed.

"Really?" he said. "You think I'll just let you poison me like that? I'm not a fool, Loki. Give me the other one."

Loki swapped his plate for one of Mantis's and smiled beatifically at him, getting only narrowed eyes in return.

"Too easy... The first one again."

Another swap. But... But was that the one Mantis had been holding to begin with or had they switched again at some point?

Ah...

"No! No, I see you, snake. That was not the same meal. I know what you're up to and you're not nearly as clever as you think you are."

He crawled forward quickly, snatching a plate and brandishing it at Mantis even as she cringed away from him.

"A taste of everything if you please, Miss."

Dutifully, she had a small forkful of each different thing, chewing and swallowing slowly. No hesitation. Safe then? Or did she even know the plan? Thor would not put it past Loki not to have mentioned it to her.

All the same, the food did smell amazing and he was starving, so if that was the drugged one and that was the first one then... Yes, that made sense, didn't it?

Thor picked up the discarded third plate, the one sat at the back, not proud enough to be concerned about how he looked picking up a boiled potato quarter and a little melted cheese with his fingers, a bite of chicken following into his mouth. Maybe he was just hungry, but it was really, extraordinarily good. He'd have to find out what this herb blend was.

He was picking up a sliver of what might have been cabbage when Ronan reached for him.

"I think that one looks better," he said, grinning.

Loki merely shrugged and sighed as he took the plate from Thor, as though dealing with the antics of a particularly troublesome child.

"Fine," he said. "Then we'll leave you in peace to enjoy it."

They made their way outside again, relocking the door. Thor was totally confused and a little annoyed to have had his meal pinched.

"So are you tricking him?" he asked. "Making him feel safe before you drug him later? Which of the plates was the wrong one?"

Loki strode away, making Thor hurry to keep up, Mantis pushing another plate into his hands.

"It's the cup game," she said. "It's the same idea. Find the ball under the cup. It's very simple."

"Yes, I've seen it. No matter which cup is chosen, there is no ball."

He realised she was laughing a little, giddy, giggling.

"They can't find it because there is no ball," she snorted. "You can't find it if it's not there. So to make sure he found the drugs..."

It took Thor a moment. And he was feeling a little odd suddenly, light headed. Maybe he'd stood up too quickly...

Oh...

Oh, no...

"They were all drugged?"

She positively cackled even as she sank to the floor beside him and now she mentioned it, standing up was very difficult, oh, dear...

He put the plates down as gently he could just as Loki arrived with a blanket, sighing heavily.

"You just had to eat it, didn't you?"

Thor wasn't sure why that was so funny to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, don't ask me what magical harmless napping/giggling herb Loki's managed to find, it probably doesn't exist.


	52. Waking Up

Thor came to in a blanket, but decidedly uncomfortable. Was he lying on the ground outside? Was that Loki's caravan, stretching off like a cliff face into the sky?

He had a vague memory of Loki having him crawl onto the blanket, and of blearily seeing Mantis's slumbering form carefully picked up and carried away, but after that...

Uh...?

"Hey," he heard, somewhere behind his head. "Don't try to move too much, you'll still be woozy."

"Loki? What happened?"

He heard the sigh and some rustling, his eyes falling shut once more. More comfortable like that. And then a cool hand on his face and that was nice too.

"What happened was that Mantis agreed to allow herself to be dosed so that she'd fall asleep, knowing that she'll awaken safely in her bed in a few hours' time. However, I didn't quite bet on you being unable to resist the draw of hot food for more than five minutes."

Thor's stomach rumbled like it had heard. Was he getting food? Had he missed dinner?

"Why'm I not in bed?"

A chuckle.

"Because you are a little more difficult to lift than Mantis is. I dragged you out of the way and kept you warm. You missed getting to bundle Ronan up, but Nebula kept an eye on you while Gamora and I handled it. She very kindly didn't draw on your face. You must remember to thank her."

Mm. He was cold and hungry, but also so sticky and heavy. Eurgh...

"Can I go to bed?" he mumbled.

"Do you think you can move?"

Maybe... He wasn't quite sure. But he could try.

It was slow going, moving from a sit to a crouch and finally upright, leaning on the side of the caravan and relying on Loki to help him up the steps and forward until he could collapse onto the mattress. Yes, that was much better.

"How long... How...?"

"How long will you be like this? Not long. Go back to sleep. You'll be fine when you wake up."

Well, he was right. Thor woke up feeling much better but also ravenously hungry. And it seemed to be dark outside. How long had he been asleep for?

Loki was curled up next to him, rolling over to wrap an arm around him.

"There's food on the desk. I think your body was catching up on lost sleep. You were out for hours."

Later, Thor expected he'd be angry. He'd been put at risk, and Mantis too even if she had agreed to it, but food was vastly more important. He was glad Loki couldn't see him in the darkness as he practically inhaled his dinner, hardly tasting it. Unbelievably, he was still tired. And Loki was so warm and soft from sleep...

He grunted slightly as Thor slipped back into bed next to him and pulled him into his arms. He just wanted closeness, a vague sense of anxiousness clinging to him that he'd rather forget about by counting Loki's breaths and feeling the heat of his body.

"I'm not sure if this is a side effect or just you."

Thor didn't bother to reply. He was too comfortable, pleasantly empty of thoughts, hunger slaked for now. His problems were outside, unable to touch him for a fleeting moment.

He wished every night could so peaceful.

He woke in a panic in the morning though.

"I missed the show!"

He heard Loki chuckling, already up it seemed, rethreading his fishing wire.

"Don't worry. Nebula kindly stepped in for one night only. I felt you ought to be left to sleep. I was gone for perhaps half an hour and you had barely moved when I got back."

That was a relief, but Thor couldn't deny that he hadn't expected to care so much about his new responsibilities.

Ohh, and poor Volstagg would be having palpitations what with him not being home all night. And what an excuse he had. _Sorry for the worry, my lover accidentally gave me sleeping drugs..._

"How's Mantis?"

After all, she'd had a much larger dose than he had, and she was smaller, so it would probably have affected her more.

"Very refreshed, it seems. She was up for breakfast. She said she would even consider repeating a mild dose for herself on particularly bad nights."

Well, that was good. And that meant he had to ask...

"And Ronan?"

"Furious," Loki said, setting down his work, finished or at least finished for now. "We've given him toileting facilities, but of course we had to remove his trousers since he won't be able to use his hands. When I fed him this morning, he was very angrily hiding in a blanket."

That sounded like what Thor would do too, to be fair to him.

"So now what?" he asked. "What do we do?"

"Now we just have to wait. Sort out the rent. And find things to occupy ourselves with..."

There was something about the tone that seemed to speak directly to something primal in the back of Thor's brain.

However...

"Can I have breakfast first?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author was very tired and wrote the blatant fantasy fulfilment of a long nap where all responsibilities are taken care of.


	53. Present

There had been mention of a gift, and after he'd gone to get breakfast, laughing with Mantis at how ridiculous they must have seemed as the sleep took over, Thor really wanted to ask what exactly that was.

Luckily he'd finished his eggs before arriving back because Loki had no intention of waiting any longer, it seemed.

There was a faint hint of something in the air, not the alcohol smell which had more or less dissipated over the past few days, but something distinctly more floral.

Not that Thor had much time to notice that, what with Loki lying naked on the bed, hair flowing across the pillow like water. The depths of some unending pool.

"I was going to get this out last night," he said, shrugging one shoulder. "But you were hardly in a position to appreciate it."

No, indeed he wasn't. Whatever it was.

"Come on, then," Loki said, patting the space beside him. "You're wearing too many clothes for what I have planned."

Intriguing. Never one for half measures, Thor stripped off completely and let Loki position him, face down on the bed, inhaling the scent of where his hair had just left the pillows.

"I've warmed it a little bit," Loki murmured.

The splash of oil hit his back, cooler than his skin but not cold, and then Loki was straddling his waist, his flesh chilled but his hands so warm as they ran up his back.

"It was a very long day yesterday," Loki said. "Even if it did mainly happen in the morning. A little relaxation, I thought."

Mm...

"Does that mean I'm forgiven for lying? For pretending I didn't know where Nebula was?"

Loki let out a soft little sigh.

"We just have different approaches to the world, that's all. I focus on preserving myself, even if that means doing things I would rather not, and I value enjoyment above almost everything even if I know it must be fleetingly. But you want to protect others. Even me, for some reason. It's just... different moralities, I suppose."

Thor tried to pull a little meaning out of all that.

"I'm not forgiven then?"

"Of course not. I do the lying around here, not you. It's time you learned."

Thor laughed and gave himself over to feelings. To Loki's fingers swirling over his back, pushing at the knots he found in the muscles, gentle with bruises that might have been Ronan's work or might have been from being dragged across the floor with only a blanket for protection.

It was nice. Almost too nice. Thor could almost forget that they were breaking several laws and in real danger.

He wondered how Ronan was doing this morning. Probably decidedly less pleasantly, that was for sure.

But what was all this? Was it really just a whim? Or was this the sign of a barrier between them breaking down, even just a little bit?

Well, maybe he could test the waters slightly...

"Will you let me do this to you afterwards?"

Full view of the scars. Touching them. Getting a sense of exactly what they were like. How they looked.

He let the question hang there, sighing as Loki pressed the heel of his hand deep into his shoulder.

"Let me finish first, hmm?"

Well, that wasn't a no...


	54. Calm

Thor was almost lulled into a daze by the gentle fingers floating over his back, eyes falling shut. So warm, so comfortable, very aware of Loki's body resting against him.

He'd have tried to push this into other territory probably, but he was grateful that Loki wasn't. Not yet anyway. Maybe he was saving that if he didn't want Thor touching his back, to distract him.

"Are you sleeping?"

"No. Just... Mmm."

He heard Loki laugh at him, but gently. And suddenly he was gripped by a horrible fear. That this was the calm before the storm. And that deep down, they both knew that.

And after this was over, however it might end, what then? They'd just separate? Try to go on with their lives? It wasn't as though Loki would ever agree to stay with him, to see what might be. He was much too wild for that. He couldn't live in a house and stay still like an ordinary person. Not yet, anyway.

"You still want to work me over?" Loki asked.

Thor was careful not to react too eagerly. Didn't want to spook him.

"If you like."

He felt the loss of Loki's warmth, the mattress dipping as he flopped down beside him.

"I am feeling a little tense I suppose," he murmured. "And I think you have good massaging hands."

"Let's find out."

He would not make anything too serious of this. It was merely touch. Mutual relaxing. A little care and attention.

His instinct was to show Loki how little the scars bothered him, maybe to trace them gently with his fingertips or lips... But no. He'd pretend he wasn't noticing them at all.

Loki was stiff beneath him, but whether from nerves or stress, he couldn't say. But hopefully he could help him with that, whichever it was.

To straddle or not? Loki had. Thor opted for the right position but without letting his bulk rest on Loki's body. It meant he had to work to keep himself up, but it meant he could really put his weight into working Loki's muscles.

He began by simply smoothing a layer of the sweet scented oil over Loki's skin, making him shine and glimmer in the morning light. The scars were like streams or canals, straight pale grooves in a snowy landscape. A whip would have had to be wielded with great intensity to leave such marks. Maybe they were from elsewhere after all.

And he wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking about Loki, about making him feel good.

A moan from deep in Loki's throat seemed to resonate within his very bones as he pressed either side of the top of his spine, squeezing out to his shoulders.

"Tell me if it's too much."

"No, it's good."

Alright then. Thor tried to mirror what Loki had done, using the meat of his palm and the strength of his thumbs to work on the particularly bad areas and then a softer approach to others.

It was intoxicating, feeling Loki turn to butter under his hands. Knowing that even in a small way, he was helping him. Even if fleetingly.

He worked until he felt he'd done all he could, moving over to lie down next to him again, both of them breathing slowly and enjoying the quiet.

It couldn't last, of course. Thor was beginning to doze just a little when he became aware of loud knocking on the door. They were needed. They had to stop pretending there was nothing outside and get back to their mess.

Well, something like that, anyway.

"You," Nebula said, poking him in the chest as if to make him extra glad he'd put on a shirt. "I need you, get your coat."

A lingering sense of softness clung to him, her blunt tone managing to cut all the same.

"What for?" he asked, looking her over. She looked different, wearing a high-necked, long-sleeved dress instead of her shawls.

"I went to the council about extending the field lease, but they won't speak to me without a husband or brother present. You can choose which one you'd rather be on the way."

Thor's mind reeled a little bit.

"Why me?"

"Because you are a large and vaguely threatening man who can throw a little weight around and get us what we need."

Was that an insult or was he imagining it? Loki was certainly giggling at him, evidently enjoying his discomfort.

"I am not threatening," he protested.

She looked at him with something close to pity in her eyes. A look that told him he was sweet but foolish to believe such a thing.

He'd seen that same look on Loki's face too.

"Are you coming or not?" she asked. "If you're not, I think Gamora could use a hand wrangling Ronan. He's decidedly unimpressed by his current predicament."

Well, if those were his choices...

"Oh, I expect we can give Loki the pleasure of that task," he said, smiling cheerfully at Loki's spluttered indignation as he grabbed his coat to head out the door.

He ought to pop in on Volstagg and Hilde too, just to make sure they knew he was still alive, despite it all.

While he still could, perhaps...


	55. Bureaucracy

Thor vaguely knew where the council office was. He'd never actually had to go, not in person. All his documents could be done by post, or occasionally with a visit by business inspectors.

He hoped they weren't trying to get hold of him this week...

Nebula drew a little attention as they strode through the streets. An unusual woman, he supposed. The clothes, more reminiscent of a decade or so previous, the very short red hair, the limp combined with the way she held herself, like a dancer. Thor felt very wide-shouldered and cumbersome next to her.

There was a sigh from the clerk as they entered the building, Nebula refusing Thor's arm on the stairs, determined to manage without so much as minimal support.

"Yes, Miss? Same reason for attending?"

"This is my brother," she said, gesturing vaguely. "I assume his masculinity will put to rest any issues we might have?"

Thor struggled not to laugh. Her righteous indignation, the poor bureau staff who weren't expecting such problems, the fact that his role was mainly to stand and be a visible man while Nebula actually dealt with everything. This was going to be fun.

They were sent upstairs to wait first though.

"So I'm your brother, then?" Thor asked, given their lack of discussion.

"I didn't want them rolling their eyes at you, wondering why you saddled yourself with such a shrew."

That was a little harsh, Thor felt. Alright, so she wasn't the nicest person he'd ever met, but she had a charm to her, a sharpness that maybe in another life he might find attractive. In fact, now he thought about it, she was quite similar to Loki, though perhaps missing his sense of fun.

"Oh, I don't know," he said. "I can think of lots of reasons. You're an intelligent woman, you're..."

"Yes, thank you, that was not a request to be patronised. Especially not by someone giving Loki doe eyes of all people."

Fair enough. Thor could only imagine how frustrating it must be not to be taken seriously all the time. Brother it was. A blonde and a red-head, both with blue eyes. It made sense.

Besides, if it was known they were circus people, maybe there would be an understanding of how exactly all the fostering and adoptive families worked. It wouldn't matter that they didn't look overly alike.

How naive of him to think anything about this would be simple...

He'd assumed that Nebula had been in and seen the necessary person before being sent away to fetch a male relative, but apparently she hadn't even made it past the door clerk. When they were finally admitted, it seemed every possible hurdle was thrown into their path.

They were not the named person on the lease. The daughter of the holder? Was there a birth certificate? Adopted daughter? Was there an adoption certificate? Any form of identification at all?

On one hand, Thor was glad that circumventing the law was so difficult, but it really was getting in their way.

Surely there had to be something else they could do? Some loophole they could jump through?

The whole thing was giving him a headache.

"Is there due to be another rental following our departure?" Thor asked.

After all, if there was no point in trying for an extension, they might as well stop.

"No, sir. The land has not been leased until Christmas, I believe."

Something was beginning to form in Thor's head. The ghost of an idea.

"So could we take out a new lease agreement?" he asked. "Due to start right after this one ends?"

"Of course, sir. That won't be an issue if you have the right forms."

"Could you not have explained that earlier?"

"You did not ask that earlier."

Nebula threw her hands in the air and slumped back in her chair, huffing.

"Excuse my sister," Thor said, accepting the offered pen and papers. "She's had a stressful week."

His skin clung lightly to his back, the remains of Loki's scented oil, as he signed up to take responsibility for ensuring the rent was paid on time and in full.

How risky could it be, really?


	56. Planning

Loki was understandably not particularly impressed that Thor had left him with the less pleasant morning tasks, whatever else he'd managed to achieve and had no intention of letting him get away without knowing it over lunch.

"It's one thing to handle your own needs, but someone else's, who hates your guts? And Gamora was no help no matter how often I explained that her womanly, caring nature ought to be kicking in. And after I massaged you, to abandon me with Ronan like that!"

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again. And we'll only be saddled with him for a short while, given any luck."

Loki's indignation turned to seriousness suddenly, almost conspirational.

"So, what do you think we should do with him?"

Thor had been concentrating on trying to identify the meat they were eating - turkey perhaps? - but the tone stunned him, made his skin prickle.

"What do you mean?" he asked, hoping he was imagining things.

"Well, once this is all over. He's too loyal to Thanos, too dangerous to be kept and stubborn enough to chase us to ends of the earth if we dump him somewhere. I just wondered if you had any ideas?"

Unfortunately, the extent of Thor's forethought was barely reaching beyond the end of the day at this stage. Trying to think about what would happen afterwards, or even what exactly they were going to do about Thanos when he came, was beyond him.

"I get the feeling that you have one or two," he said carefully. "Ideas, I mean."

Loki looked away, stirring his food absentmindedly.

"Did you visit your neighbour?" he asked.

Abrupt subject change notwithstanding, no, he was right. Thor had completely forgotten about thinking he would pop in on Volstagg, just to confirm he was still alive.

"We should go, after lunch then. Change of scene."

He was clearly trying to get at something, but Thor wasn't sure what. Maybe pointing out that they weren't the only ones at risk here. Thor wouldn't put it past these men to target his friends, given he didn't have any family left that he knew of.

And that would be his fault, bringing this to their door.

"And your place is less prone to interruptions," Loki said. "We could have a little quiet time together."

Ah. Not at all where Thor's mind had gone.

"What, go there and get back in time for the show?"

"Why not? Have you got other plans for the rest of the day?"

No, he did not. Unless worrying himself sick counted as a plan.

"I should help with Ronan first," he said. "Feed him maybe. Don't want to look like I'm trying to avoid it."

Subtly steering the conversation back. And maybe he ought to just come out and say what he suspected.

"You think we're going to have to kill him, don't you?"

A pause. One of the longest of Thor's life.

"I think it's beginning to look that way. We can't keep him forever. He's like a rabid dog, he's too dangerous. But I knew you wouldn't like that plan one bit."

Very true. Even if he could almost get his head round to thinking of it as preemptive self-defence, that premeditation was the problem. That made it murder and not merely killing.

Merely killing? What was wrong with him? How had he ended up thinking that was normal?

He was clinging desperately to the side of a slippery slope. Lies to people he liked, assault, abduction, drugging, false imprisonment...

But he liked to think he had a line he was unwilling to cross.

He'd also thought he wouldn't ever have to find out.


	57. Surprisingly Civil

Dealing with Ronan was quite an experience. He was a strong man, able to haul himself upright to walk around the caravan without the use of his arms, spitting and kicking and cursing all the while.

At least he ate. Thor had been concerned that he might need to be forcefed. He seemed to want to keep his strength up though, readying himself for some kind of showdown.

"This would be easier if you calmed down," Thor said, pulling back from an attempted headbutt.

"It would be easier if you undid this infernal jacket."

Nice try. But maybe treating him like a rational being would help. Diffuse a little tension, perhaps.

"Loki said you used to perform in it. Years ago."

Narrowed eyes, not sure why he was attempting conversation. Better than fighting, Thor thought.

"Back when I first met him, when we were both scrawny little bastards. Bendier than we are now, for a start."

Thor looked at the way the fabric of the straitjacket bulged around his arms and tried to imagine him ever being skinny or even as slight as Loki was now.

And now he was tempted to ask a few more questions. Would it be betraying Loki to ask about his past? Surely not if it was just generalities.

"How old were you?"

A pause while Ronan chewed, eyeing him curiously.

"Early twenties. I've never known precisely my date of birth. And he insisted he was nineteen, but I think it may have been a little less, personally. We trained together when he was the magician's assistant. Getting into things, getting out of things. Much the same skill, just reversed."

Thor could just imagine them. Loki crushing himself into tiny boxes and always watching, listening, learning. Coming up with new tricks or improving old ones.

The scars though... Though he was curious, he couldn't ask about them. It would be much too obvious.

"Has he gotten better at sucking cock?" Ronan asked.

The question came so bluntly that Thor nearly dropped the nearly empty bowl. Ronan grinned at him, trying to twist the knife.

"I assume your interest is because you're fucking one of them," he continued. "Not Nebula, not if you value your flesh. Maybe Gamora, if she took a shine to you, but that's unlike her. I rather think Loki's up to his old tricks. For one thing, you're just his type."

"What does that mean? What are you getting at?"

"The right balance of strong and corruptible. A challenge. And I imagine not averse to being rough from time to time."

Thor wished that didn't sound about right. Still, he could bat this back a little.

"Who says I need corrupting?"

Half a chuckle. Despite himself, Thor felt sorry for Ronan. He might have been a nice young man, once upon a time. Something must have twisted him into what he was now. Some cruelty, some harshness must have affected him.

It just made him all the more determined to protect Loki from going any further down the path he seemed determined to set himself on. He still had a chance, Thor was certain of it.

He managed to feed Ronan the rest of his meal with surprisingly little fighting. Maybe he was too hungry. Maybe he was hoping he could eventually charm Thor into letting him go.

Maybe he suspected that his days might be numbered and hoped for a sympathetic ear.

But why that dig about his and Loki's... relationship then? To make him jealous? To try to make him reveal something of himself? Something useful, blackmail material?

And he had all but confirmed that they were intimate, hadn't he? The kind of trick he used to pull on other people, the ones he was almost certain were being unfaithful and needed to make them confess.

He was getting slow...

Loki was waiting for him, pacing, a little antsy by the looks of him.

"How was it?" he asked.

"A fight at first, but then he seemed to calm down a bit."

"Did he say anything about me?"

Thor glanced sideways at him as they walked past the usual young gate guards. Gamora had had extra dates painted onto the posters, advertising their new longer stay.

"Nothing important. Why? Why would he say anything about you?"

He wanted to see Loki backpedal, but if he was, he was good at hiding it.

"Just wondering."

Well... He could maybe set his mind at rest at least.

"He just told me you met when he was the... the man who escapes and you were the magician's assistant. And he vaguely implied that you had a fling."

"A fling?! What the hell did he say?"

"Oh, well... He asked me if your, er... skills with your mouth had improved."

"And what did you say?"

Was he concerned? Embarrassed?

"Nothing. It's none of his business. Besides, he was probably just trying to get a rise out of me."

A silence fell until they rounded the corner onto Thor's street, shattered by Loki huffing dramatically.

"He didn't complain at the time."

Thor snorted. Why did Loki care what Ronan thought?

"Was he nice to you?" he asked, aware that this conversation would have to go on hold for a while once they were passing through Volstagg's barbershop. "Did you like him?"

"Not really."

"Then why were you doing... that with him?"

"I told you. I like it rough sometimes."

Ronan's words echoed back in Thor's mind. Was that all he was too? Just convenient?

"And me?" he asked. "Why are you doing it with me? Same reason? Rough and ready?"

His hand was practically on the door handle. They'd have to stop discussing this right now.

Loki looked into his eyes at the last possible second.

"Not entirely."


	58. A Minor Disagreement

Volstagg grinned at him as he came through the door, but his face fell when he saw Loki entering behind him.

"Just picking up a few things before the evening's show," Thor said awkwardly.

"How long do you think this business will last?" Volstagg asked, still trimming his customer's hair, not revealing anything.

"Not sure. I'll probably be sleeping over there more often than not though."

"Well... You're welcome to bring your laundry back here if it's more convenient for you. Our basin is big enough, as you know."

Very kind and Thor said so. He'd need to send his rent in too. Being fed by the circus was helping him out financially, but it was still going to be tight. Perhaps he should talk to Gamora about some actual payment one of these days.

"Do you think he sees through your excuses?" Loki asked on the stairs. "About what we're doing?"

"Well, he's no fool. I think he knows that it won't take half an hour to pick up a few clean shirts."

"Ooh, half an hour? Someone's thinking big."

"I thought you'd noticed that about me."

He was going to miss Loki's laugh when this was all over.

But he wasn't going to think about that. This was meant to be stress relief. They'd had a hard couple of days. Maybe it wasn't surprising that Loki was on him as soon as the door closed, kissing and grabbing him before dropping to his knees.

No, not that, that wasn't what he wanted, not today. Not after the barbs Ronan had jammed into his ears.

"Hey," he whispered, voice already strained. "Don't."

Loki looked up at him, face shadowed, eyes bright and biting his lip. A very enticing sight at any other time.

"I want to. For you."

"No. Don't do things for me. Do them with me."

"What's the difference if we're both enjoying it?"

Thor couldn't put into words what he felt. And, yes, another time he could enjoy this, but his mind was all muddled up. He couldn't, not today.

He crouched, bringing them onto a level footing, cupping Loki's cheek.

"You have nothing to prove. And you don't owe me anything either."

He could almost see the shields go up behind Loki's eyes.

"I'm not. I just wanted to taste you. Is that allowed? Am I permitted to want that, or will you insist on seeing everything as a sign of my past affecting the present?"

Maybe that was fair. Or maybe now he felt a little guilty and therefore felt the need to make up for it.

"You can want anything, but that doesn't mean you'll get it," he said, hand moving down to Loki's neck, casually presumptive. "What else do you want?"

"What do _you_ want?"

"I asked first."

Loki licked his lips, considering, eyes hungry.

"I... I don't want to think about anything," he said softly. "I just want to feel."

Thor felt he understood instinctively. Loki's body was his own, always and forever his own, and he wanted that confirmed. He wanted to enjoy every part of himself just as it was. Marked and hurt, maybe, but still his. His to decide what to do with, his to live in. He belonged to no one. He decided who touched him, who saw him.

Leaning in, Thor kissed him softly, moaning lightly as Loki pressed hard, letting him feel his tongue, whole and darting.

The images were still behind his eyes, it seemed. Haunting him, the horrors that might have been juxtaposed with the vision before him.

"I think we should get off the floor," Thor said, moving to stand up. "And then we can see about... that. About helping you not have to think."

He wondered if Loki knew how, in that moment, with his shining eyes and parted lips, that he could have asked for anything and Thor would probably have caved in and given it to him.


	59. Realisation

He was still clothed when they hit the mattress, the bed never having been put away from the last time they were here. Thor couldn't do much at first except let Loki crawl up his body, hold him close, run his hands down his back and slip them beneath his clothes.

Loki sighed into his mouth, writhing slightly, trying to wrap his legs around one of Thor's thighs.

There could be kneeling some other time. Right now, this was better, face to face.

Thor rolled them, not wanting to rush but desperate for more friction, rubbing against Loki's hip, inhaling the scent of his skin from his shoulder.

"Mm... Don't hold back."

"I'm not."

"Be rougher then. I want to feel it."

A sense of grounding, that's what he needed. They'd done the dreamy, floaty massage stuff for Thor's benefit. Now Loki needed something more earthy.

Thor groped at his thigh, yanking it upwards to pull him even closer.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm... Remember when you said you'd have me against the wall?"

Ah, yes. Thor did remember. He wasn't sure if he had the stamina to hold him up for longer than a quick session though, and he rather fancied something at least a little lengthier.

"How about the desk?" he suggested for compromise.

Loki's mouth twitched into a half smile.

"Never done it on a desk before. The occasional kitchen table, but not an actual desk."

"Me neither. I think it's sturdy enough though."

Loki ran a finger down Thor's nose, tapping the tip lightly.

"You'll catch me if it gives way. I trust you."

Thor wondered if his heart had just audibly thudded, but he supposed not as Loki wriggled out from under him and swayed his way over to his poor, neglected work space.

"Which do you prefer?" Loki asked, leaning over the scratched wood. "This? Or this?"

Watching him jump onto it and lean back sent Thor's pulse racing somehow even more than it had been, only just managing to voice his approval before rushing to find their oil supply.

When he turned back, Loki was slowly undoing his shirt, little by little, as though daring him to rush over and do it himself.

And so naturally Thor didn't. He watched. Deliberately, heavily, like his very gaze was a tangible touch caressing every piece of skin.

Only once his entire torso was bared did Thor respond to his complaining whines and cross the room to stand between his legs, shoving them roughly apart and running his hands up them with pressure on the firmer side of gentle.

It was strange; a different kind of roughness. When they had first did this, there had been a distinct antagonism between them. Not a desire to hurt, as such, but a lack of caring.

Yes, that was what had happened. A sense of caring. He no longer wanted this just because Loki was attractive - although, yes, he was - but because he was Loki. And he cared about Loki just for being himself.

A subtle difference for his head to fully contemplate, but a difference all the same.

Did Loki feel it too, he wondered. Could he feel it in the way Thor couldn't keep his lips off him, whether on his mouth or his neck? Did he know that in the grip of his fingers, there was a wish to cling to him? To keep him here, to stay in this moment a while longer? As long as possible?

Maybe he did. Maybe that was why he shoved at Thor's clothes like he couldn't bear even the tiniest distance between them. Maybe that was why he raked his nails down his back to make him growl, make him catch those hands and pressing them back onto the desk.

A light grin, still squirming, though this time when Thor let go, he merely undid his trousers and began wriggling out of them, sighing as he erection sprang free and gasping when Thor wrapped a firm hand around it. Firm, not rough, and leaving him wanting more, of course.

He ran a thumb over a nipple to see what sounds he could get for that, even as Loki tried to pull him close, tried to goad him into something more, something heavier.

Not that he needed much goading.


	60. Aching

Oil dripped onto the floorboards, but Thor wasn't paying attention to that or even to the slick sounds of two of his fingers slipping through it. He was much too engaged with Loki's panting breaths and the expression on his face, the tiny crease between his brows.

He was half sitting up, one hand holding his weight while the other gripped Thor's shoulder tightly, gasping every time he twisted his wrist, deliberately teasing with gentle brushing touches to his most sensitive spot.

Making him wait might be fun on one hand, but it was torture for Thor too. He could feel every clench and such heat, and that made him want to push things along.

He took Loki's hand in his oily one and brought the knuckles to his lips before lining up to push inside, one long thrust as Loki liked to do to him.

There was a loud thump as Loki's other arm gave way, shoulders hitting the desk like he was trying to break it, gazing up at the ceiling for a moment before letting his eyes fall closed.

Thor understood. Feeling. He only wanted feeling, an abundance of it. Better give him something to feel, then...

He used all his tricks, everything he knew Loki liked and a few other experiments too. And quite firm with it, making the desk creak, leaning down to run his tongue up Loki's heaving chest.

"Tell me if there's anything you want," he murmured. "Or don't want."

Loki sighed, lashes so dark, lips bitten pink. He shook his head, reaching upwards, smiling when Thor turned his head to nip playfully at his fingers.

"Faster," he said. "Harder."

He was already going about as hard as he could, but he could do something about the speed.

If Volstagg had any doubts about what they were doing, Loki's yelp probably put paid to them. And Thor would have stopped, would have made sure he was alright, but he was nodding vigorously and angling his hips upwards, wordlessly begging for more.

Thor wished he could make it last. He wished he could help his no doubt troubled mind in a better way.

As it was, all he could do was begin pushing him towards climax with steady determination, stroking hard, trying and failing to match his own rhythm.

It worked though. Loki bucked and strained, shaking with need until he finally spilled with a choked cry, nails leaving gouges in the wood of Thor's desk.

It was tempting to finish inside him, but Thor was aware that they wouldn't have much time to wash before the show, pulling out and watching Loki's face curiously as he added to the shine on his stomach. Were those tears?

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, scared.

Loki hummed lightly, flopping his arms out to the side before wiping his face.

"You did nothing I didn't want."

"That's not what I asked."

"Hm. No. No, you didn't hurt me. Not really. It's just... I'm overwhelmed, I suppose."

He reached upwards, flexing his hands.

"Come on, then," he said. "Carry me back and clean me. I'm too worn out to walk just yet."

Thor forced a chuckle and did his best to be gentle as he eased them across the floor, to softness and blankets. He gave the floor a wipe while he waited for a little water to heat, wanting to extend their peace even further, carefully squeezing out a cloth before turning to chase the goose bumps across Loki's skin.

Methodical. Gentle. Neither of them were ready to rejoin the real world yet, so Thor started at Loki's thighs and moved upwards, deft little strokes of the cloth around his softened cock, leaving the gentle swell of his abdomen for last.

Curious eyes watched his progress, a hint of colour beneath monochrome lids, crinkling with amusement as Thor gave his own body the most cursory of wipes before settling in beside him. Just for a few minutes. Linking their hands together.

"I'm going to miss this," Loki said into the air. "Once this is all over."

Thor felt an answering twinge in his chest and somewhere behind his eyes.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Yeah, me too."


	61. Arrival

Thanos came on a Wednesday, just when Thor had almost convinced himself they were safe. It had been a week, maybe two. He'd become used to feeding and - ahem - cleaning Ronan. It was still a fight, some days, but for the most part he seemed to be just biding his time.

If Thor had been in his place, he'd have interrupted the performance, announced his presence as soon as he arrived. But Thanos was still thinking of the bottom line. Half a show meant refunded customers. And so he waited for them to finish.

Thor's first knowledge of his arrival was when he dropped through the floor to find one of Loki's little spies waiting for him, finger pressed to her lips as she took him by the sleeve to lead him through the fairground.

He'd never seen Thanos before, but the very silhouette of him put him on edge. Standing outside the locked gates, calmly surveying the scene. And though it was dark, Thor felt he was being stared at. Appraised.

He ushered his helper back towards the tent.

"Go to Gamora," he said softly. "Tell her that her father is here."

She'd know what to do, hopefully. And Thor was going to rush to Loki. And maybe pray, just a little, though he was hardly a man of faith. They might need it.

His face clearly gave him away as he reentered the tent. Loki's eyes widened, rushing forward to meet him.

"Is it Thanos?"

"I believe so. I've sent someone to tell Gamora. Tall, broad, looking around like he owns all of this."

Which technically he did, come to think of it.

"That sounds like him. Right. Right, erm... We'll hide in the bushes and you can sneak out as he comes in."

Thor stared at him, nonplussed.

"Sneak out? Why would I do that?"

Loki took his arm, pulling him to the side, into the shadows as excited people began to flow out of the tent behind them.

"Because this has nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to... Loki, I caused this. I encouraged it. I need to help."

"Thor..."

"No! I can help. And frankly, you need all the help you can get."

"You're an outsider! Don't you understand? It's not like the normal world. We make our own laws. He'll kill you, I know he will, and I can't... I can't risk you."

His voice cracked slightly, his grip on Thor's hands becoming painful. Clinging. Not wanting to let go, but feeling the need to.

"You know I'm too stubborn to walk away now," Thor said softly. "You can't ask me to abandon you, or Gamora and Nebula. I can't. I won't."

Loki sighed, shaking his head.

"I knew you'd be trouble. From the very first moment I saw you."

"Trouble is practically your middle name."

A breathy laugh, and maybe Thor was imagining it, but there was a certain hint of tearfulness in it. It terrified him. Loki was scared. What were they about to walk into?

"Say nothing," Loki said as they headed for Gamora's caravan. "I'll speak for you, if necessary."

Nebula met them, holding a chair. It seemed a discussion was going to take place.

"She's an idiot," she hissed. "She thinks she can talk him round. She's going to get us all killed."

"Where?" Thor asked.

"The food fire. He feels the cold rather badly. She thinks if she's attentive and accommodating enough... I don't know."

"And what's your plan?" Loki asked darkly.

She looked at him, head tilted to the side, eyes enormous and owlish.

"I'll do what I have to do," she said.

Thor glanced at her dress, the one that covered every inch of her skin. Lots of folds, lots of places that weapons could be concealed.

He hoped it wouldn't come to that.

The glow of the fire ought to have been a pleasant sight, but every step filled Thor with dread. The huge shadow, a large man's back pointed in their direction. On the other side, Gamora was standing, arms crossed. The light played over her skin, making shadows dance over her face.

Nebula put down the chair and tried to melt away into the shadows, only for him to snap his fingers at her.

Like a dog. Thor felt bile rise in his throat as Thanos snatched at her hand, ripping a button from the cuff of her dress to bear her wrist.

The tattoos were distorted in the flickering light, like they were crawling on her skin.

"Almost finished," he said, voice deep and rumbling. "There's still time for you to come to your senses."

"Don't touch her," Gamora said calmly.

Thor watched with his heart in his mouth as Thanos turned towards her, slow and careful movements, like the inevitability of a falling boulder.

"What a shame," he said. "You were always my favourite. It's terrible to see you wasting your life like this when you could be so much more."

"Not like this."

A laugh? A cough? Thor wasn't sure what the noise was.

"No kind words for your old father, Gamora?"

"You are not my father."

"I took you from the streets as a snot-nosed brat. I fed you, clothed you, taught you all your skills. You are my child, whatever you might think."

She laughed, humourless, a hint of a tremble in her voice.

"Parents do not own their children, Thanos."


	62. Terms

"State your terms, _daughter,_ " Thanos said. "I am not completely unreasonable, you know. Perhaps we can reach an arrangement."

Thor did not trust this. He felt like every hair on his body was standing on edge, every nerve at attention, telling him to fight or run. He didn't feel he had been noticed overly though. If necessary, he could rush out and...

And...

And what? Hit him? Threaten him? The man had possibly legions of paid thugs at his disposal. How many more Ronans were there out there, just waiting for a letter to spring them into action?

Gamora took a moment to pause, staring into the flames, her shoulders rising and falling with a hefty sigh.

"I want this circus," she said. "Its equipment and the employment of its workers. I want them safe and under my command. We will create our own name and choose a new route that will not interfere with any of your other enterprises."

Thor was a little confused. He thought she wanted the empire. He thought she wanted to take control of everything, to protect everyone. Stop Thanos's charnel house, his exploitation of the lost and scared.

And it seemed Thanos was likewise perplexed.

"Just this one?" he asked. "What's wrong with the others? Don't you want to save them all?"

His tone was mocking and Thor found his hands forming into fists, furious that he could joke about people's lives so easily.

"Or don't you care about them?" he continued. "The Green Man, the Magnetic Boy, do they not inspire your philanthropy?"

"I am being realistic," Gamora snapped, eyes shining. "You'd never let me have all of them. Not in a million years."

It made sense, but Thor's heart still ached. To have to make that decision, that choice. To save her family but abandon so many others...

"You could have had them all," Thanos said quietly. "I was going to leave it all to you. Still could, if you get this ridiculous notion out of your head."

She was already saying no. Already refusing.

"You could run things as you wish," he said.

For all he knew how wicked this man was, how cruel and despicable, Thor understood how he had gathered so many people. There was something about his voice, or maybe his tone. It all sounded so reasonable. Thor found himself almost agreeing. Wait just a little while and then fix everything. Was that so bad?

"And in the meantime?" Gamora asked. "What then? Wait and just let you mutilate Loki Laufeyson? Let you mark Nebula permanently and send her off alone? Let you take and take and take for years? I can't. I can't do that."

Loki reached for Thor's hand. Again, it hit how close he had been, how his body and life had hung in the balance. No wonder he needed reassurance.

Thanos leant back in his chair, his bulk making the wood creak.

"And in return for my enterprise?" he asked. "What do I get in return?"

"You sent Ronan. I believe he is valuable to you. His safety for ours."

That was not a fair exchange. One man for all of this? There was no way he would accept that. Thor wouldn't, if he was in Thanos's shoes.

"Done," he heard, surprising him. "You drive a hard bargain. I taught you well. Fetch him for me."

Gamora gave Thor a nod, ignoring his shaking head. He didn't trust this. It was too simple, too neat. Too easy.

He and Loki made their way to the dark caravan in silence, furtive feet, the keys jingling in Loki's hands.

Thor stilled him before he unlocked the door.

"I don't like this," he said.

"Nor do I. Be ready."

Ready for what? Neither of them knew.

Ronan looked at them in surprise. This was not part of the routine. Trousers certainly weren't.

"Thanos is here," Loki said. "I'm sure you understand why I won't undo your arms just yet, even though Gamora has negotiated your release. He wants you back, it seems. I didn't know you mattered so much."

"More than you, evidently."

It took some effort, but eventually he was dressed, only a scraggly beard to show for his ordeal. That and his unsteady steps, the lack of exercise making his legs tremble.

"You really think this will end it?" Ronan asked as they helped him on his way. "You're fools. He'll wipe you out without a thought. Burn your stinking tent to the ground. You and those bitch sisters will be on the streets, and that's if you're lucky."

Thor shoved him forward and tried not to think about it.

Thanos had stood up, hands neatly folded behind his back, nodding at their approach.

"You're alive then?" he asked.

"Barely," Ronan grunted. "And very grateful to be rescued from this hovel."

Thanos chuckled, coming to meet him, patting his shoulder.

"You are loyal, Ronan. I asked you to find my daughter, to deal with this insurgence."

"I tried, sir. I was tricked and bound. They were ready for someone like me. And that Laufeyson... He's a snake, just like you said."

A smile. A nod.

"Unfortunately, you know that I have no use for failures."

There was a sickening crack as he snapped Ronan's neck without so much as a blink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Ronan...


	63. Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy, busy, so sorry, comments a little later hopefully! I'm very grateful for them.

Thor found himself shoving Loki to the side as he lunged forward, hitting out blindly. He wasn't sure what his plan was, just to incapacitate. Just to prevent Thanos hurting anyone else.

It was like punching a wall. Pain lanced up Thor's arm. He hadn't hit many people in his time, but those he had had never felt quite like that. Did he have a metal jaw or something? Good God...

"Don't!" he heard Gamora shout, though he wasn't sure who she was talking to.

"You have forgotten your place," Thanos growled as he slammed Thor in the stomach, leaving him doubled over. "You all have. I taught you better than that."

The flames were very close to Thor's face as he tried to recover himself, wheezing, feeling Loki grabbing him and pulling him back.

"You taught us we were nothing. You taught us we belonged to you."

It was becoming increasingly clear that he did think that. He owned the circus and the lives of everyone in it. Ronan's corpse - Thor hadn't checked, but the lack of sound and movement seemed fairly damning - was testament to that.

Any thoughts he might have had about trying another attack were shut down by Thanos pulling a pistol from his pocket. And the worst thing was that he didn't even seem angry. There was no yelling, no rage. If anything, he seemed disappointed as he pointed the gun squarely at Gamora's head.

"I had so much faith in you," he said. "What a shame."

Thor lunged forward a second after Nebula did, stepping between them, lit up by the fire in sharp relief.

"I'll do it," she said. "I'll get the tattoos. Anything, just... Just let her go."

"Nebula," Gamora said calmly. "Don't do this. Run."

"No. You spent so many years taking care of me. Let me return the favour."

What was she playing at? Surely she wasn't going to give up so easily. She'd sworn she'd never let him control her again. But then again, her sister's life...

"Good girl," Thanos was saying, though still pointing the gun. "But I don't tolerate uprisings, successful or not. Move out of the way."

She took a step forward.

And then she violently kicked at the fire, sending coals flying.

Imagining the terrible pain she was in occupied a second of Thor's thoughts. The gunshot quickly overtook that, and then he was lunging forwards, snatching the weapon and hurling it away. Safely discharged into the ground, away from everyone.

There were screams. Children crying. And through it all, Thanos howling with anger, clawing at his eye. Had she caught him there? A speck of dust even could be enough if they moved quickly.

What should they do? What could they do? He killed without a thought, certain he could get away with it. They would have to restrain him, get the police in the morning...

"Rope," Thor yelled, to no particular person. "Rope here!"

"Weigh him down!" Loki shouted.

Right. Thor flung himself forward, hoping for a combination of bulk and surprise to help him, fighting dirty with a low kick and a yank of hair.

A nudge in the face probably left him with a bloody nose, but he was paying it little mind, the orange firelight filling his eyes, like fighting in an inferno.

He heard Loki nearby, heard the choking grunt as a blow must have caught him. Sounded hard, sounded painful...

It put him off. Distracted him, made him look away from Thanos in an effort to see how badly Loki was hurt.

A hand grasped his throat, huge fingers squeezing.

"You're new. Yours must be the name on the lease. Trying to take over my circus, putting stupid ideas in my girls' heads..."

"Not yours," Thor managed to croak out, trying to get a good kick in before he was forced to kneel.

He could feel the heat behind him. The fire. Growing closer as he desperately scrabbled at the hands around his neck.

He could see Loki on the ground now, coughing and spitting, might be blood, couldn't tell, looking up in horror...

Or was that hope?

The rope looped around Thanos's neck from behind, a quick movement, and Thor's sluggish gaze rose up to find Nebula, snarling in her rage, pulling with all her might.

Air filled Thor's lungs at last as Thanos dropped him, elbowing back viciously, getting one hit and then another, sending Nebula flying like a rag doll.

Gamora's scream was only barely louder than her father's roar as he advanced upon Nebula's crumpled form, Thor scrambling to his feet and gasping for breath, trying to throw himself in the way, something, anything to stop that awful progress, the flexing fingers that promised only death...

Gamora got there first, placing herself between the two of them, a backhand blow almost sending her flying.

She'd taken two more hits when the gunshot rang out and Thanos fell to the floor.


	64. Aftermath

Gamora looked at Thor, Thor at Loki. Their breath was so loud in the sudden silence, all of them thinking one of the others must have done it.

A faint whimper echoed around them, stumbling footsteps, and then Mantis stepping into view, shaking, tears shining so brightly on her cheeks and the gun held loosely in one hand.

Could Thanos still be alive? Where had she hit him? Well, he wasn't moving so maybe those questions could wait. She staggered forward, the weapon slipping from her fingers with a dull thud, whispering as she made her way to where Gamora knelt by Nebula's side.

"Is Nebula alright?" Thor asked, his voice strangely loud. He could feel eyes upon him though, shadows just out of the fire's circle of light, the rest of the circus watching them.

"She's breathing," Gamora said, her voice thick.

"We should take her to a hospital."

"No, she needs to stay here. We fixed her leg, we can fix this..."

"Get me a light and clean rags," Loki snapped somewhere to Thor's left. "Don't just stand there gawping!"

Thor was a little amazed to see Gamora yield to him, her arms around Mantis who was still shaking. Did Loki know what he was doing? Really?

He was pressing softly on various parts of her body, his frown tight. A few soft cries fell from her lips, a wound on her head bleeding sluggishly.

"You can hear me, can't you? Squeeze my hand if you can. Don't try to speak."

Thor felt like he could barely breathe as Loki called for him.

"Cracked ribs," he said. "Maybe a broken breast bone. The head blow is superficial. But her arm..."

"Broken?" Thor asked as more lamps were brought, cold white light making the blood seem to show all the more.

"Dislocated. I can pop it back in, but I need you to brace her shoulder. It will hurt, we should give her something to bite."

A roll of cloth. Nebula was clearly conscious, but her breathing was shallow and she refused to open her eyes. Was there swelling there around the left socket or was he imagining it? They really ought to take her to a proper doctor...

Thor held her still while Loki took a deep breath and counted to three. A crunch of bones, a horrible howl of pain, but it seemed better perhaps as she flexed her hand.

Though not from Mantis's perspective. She hurled herself at Thor, slapping at him.

"Stop hurting her!" she sobbed as he gently fended off her blows. "Leave her alone!"

"We're helping. I promise, we're helping."

"No!"

"Mantis..." Nebula groaned. "It's alright."

Her right eye opened, her left only managing about halfway, and she tried to sit up but groaned in pain and fell back.

"But it's my fault," Mantis said. "I pretended to be you, I lied and now... Now I've..."

"It's not your fault."

"I killed him..."

Thor glanced over to Thanos's body. Dead? He couldn't be sure yet, but it seemed likely. No one was tending to his injuries, certainly. And his face... Living people did not generally look like that. Or bleed from their necks so much.

"It was self-defence," he said. "You did what you had to do for protection."

She looked him right in the eye, voice trembling as she whispered.

"That's what they said last time."

Before he could even process that, Gamora was there beside them, a pan of hot water in her hands, tearing off strips of cloth, gently wiping the blood from her sister's face. She needed someone to return the favour, but Thor could tell she wasn't going to be ready for that too soon.

A cool hand brushed his. Loki, leading him out of the women's private moment, his own lamp held up to examine the damage to Thor's face before leaving it behind to head for his caravan.

They had only just got out of earshot when he spoke in a low voice.

"Two corpses, Thor."

"I know. That wasn't the plan."

"Plans change. The question is simple though. What the hell are we going to do now?"


	65. Persuasion

"We have to get out of here," Loki said. "It's too dangerous to stay. The police never care until someone is dead, especially someone with money, and we won't be able to hide the bodies for long."

Thor was amazed that his inner self could be so selfish as to feel a pang of loss at the idea of Loki leaving. It made sense though. The circus would have to move on.

"You could dump the bodies on the road," he said uncertainly. "I'm sure I can just about cover the rent for the field."

Loki seized his wrist.

"What are you talking about? They're not fit to travel. Nebula certainly isn't."

"Then... Then what?"

"You and me. Together. Run away."

"Abandon them? After all that? They're practically your family."

"Families separate all the time."

This wasn't right. Surely he couldn't want that, not really. This was just the fear talking.

"So then what?" Thor asked, trying not to sound overly cajoling. "Settle down in one place? Get a normal job? That's not for you, not yet anyway. It would be only a few days before the boredom set in."

Loki had steered them back to his caravan, wrenching the door open, taking three attempts to strike a match for his lantern.

"So what do you suggest?" he said. "Stay here? Wait for the corpses to start smelling and then try to explain?"

"We could always tell the truth."

Loki laughed at him. Really at him, mocking and cruel.

"You're so naive," he said, pulling a carpet bag out from behind his trunk. "The truth? They'd never believe that. They'd just arrest all of us and I have no intention of being among that number. I had flattered myself by thinking you might want to help me. Evidently this little affair has meant nothing to you, so I'll bid you goodbye. I'll go by myself."

Thor crouched to seize his hands, to make him stop pulling out clothes and linens.

"You're scared," he said softly. "I understand. But running away won't solve your problems. It will just give you new ones."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Loki spat, shaking him off.

Thor watched him shake out an old blanket and set it aside.

"You're wrong," he said. "It's meant something to me. I care about you. But I think leaving now would be a mistake."

"Do not even begin to think that you can feed me a few lovey-dovey words and trick me, Thor."

"I'm not. It's true, I... I really like you. But I can't abandon Gamora and Nebula and Mantis, I can't. And I don't think you can either. Why did you bother helping with the injuries if you were just going to leave?"

The silence told him he was pushing in the right spot.

"You're clever, Loki. You can fix this. You're good at unexpected situations."

Loki folded his arms. At least he'd stopped packing.

"So, what?" he said. "Dump the corpses in the river? We'd never manage to get them across town without getting caught. We've nowhere to keep them. So unless you suggest that we feed them to the horses..."

Surely there was something...

"You said Nebula couldn't travel," Thor said uncertainly. "But the others could. She needs to heal up, but some or all of the rest of you could leave, could bury the bodies far away."

"And where would Nebula stay?"

"At my place. There's a bed, there's running water, Hilde could help me look after her. And once she's better, she could catch up with you."

He watched as Loki tried to think of a reason why not.

"If she's in your bed, where would you stay?" he asked. "Not on the floor."

Fair point. Thor shrugged. He'd think of something.

"The field is booked, right?" Loki said, smoothing back his hair, bruises beginning to show on his face already. "So I could stay here with my caravan and you could camp out with me. Until she's better. And then she and I could go."

Thor nodded, trying to ignore the faint ache in his heart. Part of him wanted Loki to stay, but he knew it wasn't really right for him. He was too free for that kind of life. He needed the open road, he needed the roar of the crowd.

Loki sighed, leaning backwards until his head rested against the wall, his crouch turning into sitting down.

After a moment, Thor shuffled his way over to him, slinging an arm around his shoulder, kissing his hair.

"You're too good, you know," Loki said. "It'll get you into terrible trouble one day."

"Probably."

Exhaustion seemed to hit them both, aches too, and though Thor felt taking a pause was an indulgence when they ought to be helping Nebula in out of the cold and hiding the bodies, he couldn't rouse himself to stand too quickly.

Loki sighed and cuddled into his chest, mumbling something.

"Hmm? What was that?"

"I said... I said you could come with us. If you wanted."

Thor frowned and blinked, staring straight ahead.


	66. Thoughts and Plans

Loki scrambled out of Thor's loose embrace, standing up and dusting imaginary dirt from his knees.

"Forget it," he mumbled. "Forget I said anything."

Thor was stunned though. Not by the suggestion, but because his reaction was not to immediately dismiss the idea.

What was keeping him here, after all? No family. His work was fine, but he wasn't beholden to anyone on that account. Volstagg and Hilde? Yes, they were his friends, dear friends at that, but... Well, sometimes people moved on.

If they met someone special, for example.

He stood slowly and deliberately, watching Loki hurriedly throwing his things back into his trunk, laying a hand on his back, feeling the faint shudder that rolled through him.

"I don't think I should promise anything," he said carefully. "Because I don't think either of us should make important decisions in our current state and you should be able to change your mind if you want, but... But I think I'd like that."

He could always leave if it didn't work out, after all.

Loki seemed to melt slightly, some tension leaving his body as he straightened up.

"Right," he said. "Bring some blankets. We need to wrap up the bodies and we need to keep Nebula warm. I'd like to give her something for the pain, but alcohol will make her too cold too fast."

They'd revealed too many emotions for his liking, evidently. But he was right. They needed to clear up before morning.

Of course, by the time they reappeared most of the hard work had already been done. There were two bundles that were probably Thanos and Ronan, a few men easing back a storage caravan to hold them. Someone had covered Nebula and propped up her head, Gamora helping orchestrate matters from her side.

She had an arm around Mantis's shoulders, holding and comforting her. Thor doubted she was going to get over this any time soon.

He was extra careful to keep his voice low and gentle as he crouched down to tell Gamora his plan. Not that he intended to stay - not yet; he wanted to sleep on that, let Loki sleep on it first, but about moving most of the circus onwards.

She'd clearly been having similar thoughts, though the idea of leaving her sister while she was so badly hurt clearly didn't sit well with her.

"You should go," Nebula said, taking her hand. "Make a start on turning things around. Take over. Start informing the other ringmasters, see what kind of a mess we're dealing with. You know I'll be well looked after."

The frown on Gamora's face was just visible in the lamplight.

"Not tonight though," she said quietly. "Stay home for one more night?"

"I'm not sure I can get into the hammock..."

Thor glanced up to where Loki was helping lift and direct the moving of bodies and hoped he wouldn't mind what he was about to do.

"You could take Loki's bed, the two of you," he said, his brain supplying an objection almost immediately. "It's, er... It's clean. I promise."

Nebula laughed but groaned soon afterwards, clutching her side as Gamora made soothing noises.

"I'm just imagining you two in the hammocks," she said.

Thor made himself chuckle. Well, why not? After all, if the three of them were going to get back in one caravan - if they made that decision - then they might have to put one up. They could take turns sleeping in it.

It would be fun.

Thor leant his strength to the carrying effort, shifting the corpses - and he kept reminding himself that that was they were. There had been a murder here tonight, the murderer then killed by a woman terrified of him and what he might do.

He'd be lying if he pretended not to be grateful that Mantis had made that decision so he hadn't had to.

As his thoughts turned towards her, his eyes did too, seeing her gaze fixed upon a spot of grass. Looking at anything in particular? Or just staring?

He waited until some kind friends came to take her to her bed before investigating with a borrowed lamp.

The gun. Lying forgotten in the dark.

After a moment's pause, Thor picked it up, checked the safety was in place and put it in his pocket.

It would go into the river first chance he got.

And maybe Loki should give her a little of that sleeping drug to help her rest.


	67. A Blessing

Loki eyed the hammock with faint distrust, but Thor was too exhausted to worry about falling down in the night. Both physically and emotionally.

It had been horribly difficult to get Nebula into Loki's caravan. Sitting up was intensely painful for her, standing even worse, and though Thor wished he could have carried her, he didn't want to risk hurting her, or worse, accidentally causing any more damage.

They finally got her into the bed, with no shortage of pain and whimpering, propping her up with pillows as being slightly upright seemed to ease the pain at least a little.

The sun was practically coming up by the time Thor gracelessly hauled himself into what seemed to be a tangle of strings, sackcloth and blankets, managing to rock himself to sleep.

He was woken by yet more rocking. Loki gently pushing him, eyebrow raised like he could easily imagine having a little fun on something like this.

Outside, there was hubbub, bustling. The circus was preparing to move, with all that involved.

"What time's it?" he asked.

"The morning is fast running away," Loki said softly. "I expect Gamora won't mind travelling by night, but the tent takes a lot of taking down."

"Should we help?"

"Probably."

Thor closed his eyes and felt the sway of the hammock for a moment longer.

"Are we _going_ to help?"

"Of course. But first I thought you might want to meet the delightful creature who will be staying with us."

Thor opened one eye, baffled. Surely it was just the pair of them and Nebula?

"The horse. Technically she's mine, I suppose. I don't see her much though. Only when we travel. But she'll have to hang around if we're going to get out of here. She'll probably like having so much space to herself."

Thor had little experience of horses. He saw them around, of course. But too many warnings from his mother about little boys who startled a horse and got kicked in the head had made him wary of them.

As such, he was decidedly unsure when Loki was telling him to gently pet a large beast's forehead.

"They all look the same," Thor said, looking around at the sea of pale horse faces. "How do you know this is her?"

He watched as she accepted the bridle and let Loki lead her outside, calm and untroubled by the noise.

"There's subtle differences. In temperament and appearance."

She seemed happy enough to have her reins looped around a metal hoop on Loki's caravan. And then the real work began.

The canvas was laced together like some enormous corset, heavy when parts of it dropped. It took many hands to fold it up and carry it to large trailers. Thor could only imagine how difficult it would be to do this task if it was wet.

He learned how to dismantle the seats and the ring, how to coil and knot the ropes properly, how to pack the equipment in the most space efficient way.

It was good for him, physical work like this. It kept his mind away from wondering which of the trailers had two large new parcels in them.

His arms were pleasantly aching by the time it was time to pause and eat, wandering his way back to find Loki "helping" Nebula choose with clothes she wanted to stay with her and which she ought to send on with Gamora, who was mostly ignoring them as she examined a large map. Plotting the route they would take.

Trying to find a good place to bury the bodies.

"Everyone seems surprisingly comfortable," Thor said uncertainly. "With the, um... abrupt change in management."

He hadn't seen how livid the bruises on Gamora's face were until she looked up at him. Purplish-grey on her cheek, dark on her lip. Blood beneath the thin skin.

"Those that saw what happened, they... They understand," she said.

"And the others?"

"They will hear what happened. But ultimately they care only that they remain employed and fed. Who is actually doing the paying and feeding is abstract, of no importance so long as they do not feel mistreated. I gather it is the same in most industries."

Thor had no doubt that most would be rather better off under her command. Still, he wished he had her confidence.

He waited until Loki had gone to fetch something else for Nebula's perusal before trying to subtly broach the subject of his perhaps going with them.

"How will you decide on new employees?" he asked. "New performers?"

Gamora shrugged, fingers tracing over a piece of woodland on her map, spanning the distance from the road.

"It will depend. What they can do, where they are from, if they're running from anything in particular. I may need to be more careful."

That didn't much help him, but evidently his dithering was obvious as Nebula laughed and groaned, flapping her hands against the bed sheets.

"Gamora," she chastised. "Isn't it obvious? He wants to come with us. He's in love."

Heat rushed to his cheeks, stammering in protest.

"I haven't decided... And we haven't discussed - Loki and I haven't discussed it, not properly and I need to think about other things and..."

Gamora reached out and gently squeezed his hand.

"I think you'll find I am still monetarily in your debt, Mr Odinson," she said. "Not to mention the other ways you have helped us. And therefore, should you decide you want this life then we would be happy to have you."

Thor wasn't quite sure whether or not she was quietly writing off what she owed him.

He didn't much care as he squeezed her fingers in turn, letting go before Loki came back with another bag of clothes.

He still wanted to discuss it again first, just in case.


	68. Healing Begins

Moving Nebula was an extremely slow process. She could stand and walk, but only gingerly, even with Gamora supporting her steps.

Volstagg's eyes were the size of saucers when they finally managed to stagger in.

"Thor..."

"I know. I know, and I can explain. Is Hilde busy? We might need a woman's... attention."

It was an unfair move on his part, he knew. Hilde would never, could never refuse help to one in need, especially not an injured, orphaned young lady.

The stairs were torturous, poor Nebula wincing every step of the way. She cried out when they finally got her sat on Thor's bed, the makeup they'd used to hide her facial bruises for the walk streaked with tears.

Hilde arrived in a flurry of care and fussing just as Thor slipped downstairs again, braving Volstagg's frown and folded arms, the door firmly closed to customers.

"What's going on? No lies now, lad."

"Of course not," Thor said, carefully not promising not to miss out parts of the truth. "The circus is leaving. Moving on. But she's hurt, she can't travel in the state she's in and so I offered her my room to recuperate in. Safe and warm, running water..."

Volstagg's jaw had clenched while he spoke.

"And how exactly did she become so badly hurt?" he asked pointedly.

No lies.

"Their father - the man who had the gall to call himself their father - was a brute. A meglomaniac. She challenged him and he... He beat her horribly. All of us, really, but she took the worst of it."

"Was a brute?"

"He's dead. Killed in self-defence."

He watched Volstagg's nostrils flare as he fought an internal battle. He did not want to get involved and yet he was a man of great heart. It almost spilled from him. Nebula had been wronged. She needed help.

"And the... The body?"

"Best you don't know," Thor said.

Grim nodding. Yes, that was more sensible, wasn't it?

Hilde came back downstairs, brows tight, shaking her head.

"That poor girl," she said. "That poor, poor girl. The things she has been through..."

Thor looked at the unshed tears in her eyes and knew he was a bad man for taking advantage of her nature like that. And for the fact that Nebula was about to be served her weight in soups and nourishing stews whether she wanted them or not.

It was obvious that Gamora didn't want to leave, but equally evident that she had to. And, of course, they couldn't embrace. Cracked ribs did not take kindly to such treatment.

"It will only be a few weeks," Nebula said gently. "It will pass in a flash. Especially since you'll be so busy."

"I lost you before and only just have you back. That's why it's hard."

Nebula was right though. Thor's ideal of having a long time to consider whether or not he wanted to run away with the circus did not materialise. For a start, to cover the rent of the almost empty field and his room, he was forced to take on some actual work.

How pedestrian it all seemed now. The doctor - which he finally won the battle on - had recommended that Nebula make efforts to walk around when she felt she could, meaning he was able at least briefly to use his office to meet a client. 

Somehow the inevitability of following a woman through the streets to her lover's home failed to provide the same sense of purpose it used to.

No doubt she had her reasons. Boredom. Lack of fulfilment. Feeling ignored by her husband and seeking excitement and romance elsewhere.

Suddenly he understood the feeling.

"You don't love it anymore," Loki said, trailing a finger down his arm as they huddled under a blanket in the cold glimmers of morning.

"I guess I've been shown another option. Something different."

"So you... You want to come with us?"

Did he? It was a big decision, one he might regret either way. But at the same time, he felt in his stomach that he'd hate to miss this chance.

"If you'll have me. But don't feel like you have to if you've change your mind."

Loki merely rolled over and kissed him.

Barely three weeks after Thanos's death, Nebula decided she was sufficiently healed and the three of them crammed their things into the little caravan and set off as Volstagg and Hilde's whole brood waved merrily, excited to be so close to a real circus trailer.

A new adventure, Thor told himself, even if he felt a pang of loss at leaving his old life behind.

"We'll have to be sure to visit them when we're back this way," Nebula said. "Since they did so much for us."

Thor was grateful that neither she nor Loki commented on the way he had to wipe his eyes.


	69. Rebirth

Living in such cramped conditions was often fractious. And whatever Nebula insisted, she was clearly not fully healed. The pain made her prickly nature sometimes outright sharp.

Still, there was great camaraderie to be found in moving like this. In the stories they'd tell at night over dinner, in the singing and chatter that often filled their days, squashed together on the seat behind the horse.

Thor did not feel he was as skilled at invention as they were and so preferred to tell true tales of his youth and his old work. Only fun ones though. This was a time for good spirits, nothing too serious.

They took turns having the bed, Nebula always in it while one of them took the hastily hung hammock. But some nights, when it was especially clear and still, Loki would suggest that they give Nebula some privacy and they would bed down outside beneath the stars.

Of course, it was less for her privacy than theirs. A little time to be alone, cuddled up, murmuring to one another about not very much. Sometimes with wandering fingers or rolling hips and always with kisses.

No oil here. Nothing but their hands and mouths. But that was all they needed. And sometimes Thor would catch himself, like he was seeing himself from the outside, stunned by how content he felt.

Had he ever been this free?

It took them the best part of a month of travelling before finally both Nebula and Loki went a little tense as a strange set of buildings came into view. It was incongruous in the landscape, putting Thor in mind of some kind of sprawling Mediterranean villa.

"He's dead," Nebula said under her breath like she needed the reassurance. "He's dead, he's dead..."

It was apparently a little difficult to believe until they spotted Gamora, hands raised to her eyes against the sun, hair streaming out behind her as she rushed to meet them.

Nebula seized the reins, pulling the horse to a halt so she could jump down, her shorter leg making her running more like a skip. But maybe that was just her joy coming through.

They met in a plume of dust kicked up by their feet, clinging to each other like they had been shipwrecked instead of come to this arid landscape.

And suddenly Thor could see them as they must have been so clearly. Two lost, hurt little girls who somehow made themselves a family.

In a way, he supposed that was what he and Loki were doing too.

Gamora had arrived and evidently taken over really quite efficiently. There were staff, some of whom she had dismissed outright, some of whom seemed happy to be under new management.

"I've had an idea," she said, welcoming them into the cool shade of a sort of pavilion. "Not a training space for foundlings, or not only that. A school. All the chances we never had."

It sounded wonderful, the more she talked about how she was going to change the way the circus recruited, how the money was handled, all the rest of it.

But there were still shadows here. Curious children peering out of windows, laughter that sounded nervous. Like it hadn't been allowed before.

"Were you ever here?" Thor asked Loki softly.

"Very briefly. But I was too old to be trained with the children. I learned on the job."

"What was the age limit?"

A shrug.

"About 14. 15 maybe."

Thor tried to imagine Nebula and Gamora as such young girls, being sent out to perform such dangerous stunts. Sent to live with strangers. People who might follow orders and crush any spirit left in them with brutality.

And in a way they'd been the lucky ones. They had found one another after all.

He recognised some of the young faces playing in the yard. They seemed different. Happier. They knew Gamora and trusted her. But no wonder the others were wary of this change. After all, there was no guarantee that the monster killer was not a monster themselves.

Most of their circus had travelled onwards, presumably having rejigged the show to deal with two missing acts, but Mantis hadn't left Gamora's side. She was in an office space, apparently getting to grips with the accounts and other ledgers. And she seemed much happier being out of the spotlight.

"I still haven't found that key," she said to Gamora after greeting them. "I'm starting to wonder if Thanos had it with him when he..."

"When he visited," Gamora finished for her. "Strange though. A locked room. When there were doubles of all the other keys."

Thor felt a shiver run down his spine just as quickly as he knew he would be forcing this mysterious door open before even thinking about leaving.

It looked much the same as all the other doors, though from the outside he couldn't figure out where the room actually was. There was a gap in the windows. Perhaps it was just a big cupboard.

It took him a while. The door was thick and strong, the hinges inaccessible and at points Thor thought he might have to get an axe to get through it at points, but finally a good kick managed to break the lock open.

And then Thor learned why this door had been so firmly closed.

Two things leapt out at him, one distinctly more pleasant than the other.

Money. There was a lot of money stored here, bundles of cash, carefully stacked piles of coins. An escape plan? Insurance of some kind?

But the other thing...

Whips. Iron bars. Chains and restraints. This was the bank and the torture chamber all in one.

Loki had entered the room behind him and gone very quiet. Thor turned to find him clutching a chain attached to the wall, tiny handcuffs on it. Child-sized ones.

"We did the right thing, didn't we?" Thor asked, shuddering to think of some poor young soul being shut in here alone in the dark.

"I don't know about right, necessarily," Loki said. "But I certainly don't regret it."

In the evening, they threw all the whips and straps, anything that would burn onto a fire in the yard. Thor watched the flames, watched the children tire themselves out in chasing and dancing, watched Nebula fall asleep on Gamora's shoulder and Mantis shyly chatting with the new staff charged with looking after this place and those who lived in it.

He ran his hand over Loki's back, feeling the faint grooves of his scars through his shirt.

No. He didn't regret it either.


	70. Three Years On

The bell in Volstagg's shop rang out just the same as it had when he had left for good. How strange that so little had changed.

Thor felt so different in himself that he could barely believe it had only been a few years.

He knew he looked different for a start, even without Young Hilde squeaking at the sight of him and fleeing before her broom even hit the ground, calling to her father.

In the mirror, he could see exactly what had inspired such a reaction. Shorter hair, bold shaved patterns in it, a tighter style of dress, all tailored coats and open-necked shirts, eyeliner almost always. Loki liked it. Said it brought out his eyes.

And, of course, the tattoos.

Nebula had taken control of her own skin, ordering a machine and learning to use it herself, drawing designs onto leather and cloth before beginning to cover the blue spirals with her own images.

It didn't hurt nearly so badly, she'd claimed on their annual visit to the villa and the new school Gamora had set up there.

Thor couldn't judge the comparison and had found the bite of the mechanical needle very painful when he let her use it on him, but he was fond of the swooping lines that now adorned his wrists and shoulders. Birds, mainly. Leaves. And a little L in the web of his thumb; a little reminder of Loki always with him.

Volstagg appeared with wide eyes, like he was seeing a ghost.

"Lad!"

In spite of himself, Thor was a little sheepish.

"I said I'd visit, didn't I?" he said. "Should have been sooner, but the circuit only just brought us back round here."

"Ah, so you're still, er... You and, er..."

His vague gestures couldn't help but make Thor smile.

"Loki and me are still doing the show, yes. It's a bit different these days, of course, but... Well, I love it."

He really did. Even when Loki rolled over of a morning and announced that he had a wonderful idea for a new trick and Thor just knew he'd be in a compromising position by the end of it.

These days, Loki magically turned him into a labrador and back, plaited solid steel bars together and bewitched him so that a volunteer from the crowd could stand on his outstretched arm. All tricks, of course. But it was always fun to hear the reactions.

"That's actually why I'm here," Thor said. "We're only staying for a week or two. Wondered if you and Hilde might want to come tonight. On the house, of course. I have just enough leverage for that."

"Oh, well, we'd love to but we're terribly busy. We had a new arrival last year and he's teething something awful."

"Congratulations. What's his name?"

"Erik. Though Young Hilde wanted to name him after you, of course."

If there had been any doubt about her listening in, the indignant yell of "Father!" from just behind the kitchen door rather got rid of it.

"How about you, then, Hilde?" Thor asked, hoping he wasn't overstepping the mark. "Maybe you could bring a friend or your sister? If you like."

She reappeared, blushing scarlet, but with large pleading eyes. Volstagg wouldn't stand a chance against that face. She'd grown taller but not much broader, her hair sticking out wildly like the petals on a sunflower.

"Alright," he said, before she'd even opened her mouth. "But come straight home afterwards. And none of that pink sugar or your mother will have my hide."

She beamed and hurried away, presumably to announce the good news to the next eldest sibling.

"How old is she now?" Thor asked, embarrassed that he couldn't remember.

"Seventeen. Nearly a fully fledged young lady."

Thor listened to all the news of the children, the new neighbours upstairs (who were apparently still new despite having been there three years), seeing Hilde and the baby, enormous mistrustful eyes staring at a strange man.

But he couldn't stay forever. There had to be hugs, and a last cup of coffee and a 'no, please, the tickets are to thank you' and a promise to see them again before he left.

"How were they?" Loki asked when he got home, already starting to put on his fish wires, turning to the side for a kiss.

"Very well," Thor said. "Complete with new infant."

"Hmm. What's that, six? You'd think they'd have figured out what was causing it by now."

Thor did his best to admonish and not to laugh.

"The two eldest are going to come this evening. I think they're excited to see some magic."

"Mm. I'll do my best. You should be getting dressed, Mr Assistant Extraordinaire."

Later, he picked Young Hilde from the crowd as a volunteer. It was always fun to see the joy and amazement on people's faces, but especially to see it on that of a friend as she examined a chair and proclaimed it perfectly ordinary.

She couldn't see the steel rods concealed within it that Loki would pull out and slip into a cunning slit in a sleeve under the guise of enchanting Thor's arm though. She wouldn't even feel it under her shoe when she stood on it and not his flesh.

With his head down, Thor hoped no one would see him grin despite being 'hypnotised'. She had gasped so loudly, the applause rushing over him. This was what he did now.

"Thank you," Loki said. "Thank you, Miss, much obliged. And now I merely remove the enchantment and speak the magic words into my assistant's ear. He shall awaken from this slumber before your very eyes."

Lips so close, the softest whisper, so quiet that no one but he could hear it.

"I love you."

Yes. Magic words indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there we go. The last fic I finished before Ragnarok came and upended everything! I hope you enjoyed it. I've really appreciated all the comments and kudos along the way. Thank you so much.
> 
> I'm hopefully going to get some quality reading time over the rest of the month - hopefully! - while I finish writing this year's Christmas fic. Canon verse! Silliness! Accidental feelings! Maybe see you for that in December.
> 
> Thank you again so much for reading. I hope it brightened your day.


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